i found hidden drugs

Dunroamin

kwmlondon wrote: »

Thanks, missed that.

Speed? Honestly, why would anyone use that stuff any more? My mum's college friends all took that (she told me about them bleeding from their gums during exam time - great anti-drugs message) that was in the 60s.

Amphetamines? Honestly, where is this? What part of the world are we talking about?

You make it sound as if it's the fact that he's holding unfashionable drugs that's the problem!

kwmlondon

stir_crazy wrote: »

Oh I agree, its horrible stuff. To tell you the truth though, I'm probably too much of a prude to even take the legal highs!:A

Well, yes, and sensible!

You have NO idea what's in them or what they'll do, but at least you won't be arrested if you're caught with them.

julie2710

My first worry would be as someone else said, that he is happy to bring drugs into a house with his children. What if they had found it?

I would then be questioning the "I get it for a friend" comment. Is he saying he buys it and sells it on to his friend ie is he dealing? Is it just the one person he supplies? Where does he get it?

It was in his work bag so I'm assuming he took it to work. Now I'm not sure what he does but most companies look pretty sternly on people having drugs in their possession whilst at work/on work premises. Does the friend also work in the same place? Is he "dealing" at work?

As last time the drugs were linked to an affair was the friend male? Do you know the friend?

On top of all this is the deceit. Only you can decide if you can overcome that.

I would be inclined to tell him to move put, report him both to the police and his employers, the last thing any home or company needs is a drugs raid. How would you and your children feel if the police came and broke down your door in the middle of the night? Worse still what if the dealer comes knocking at your door when the children are in the house with you. They tend to be even less considerate of people's feelings than police on a drugs raid.

This isn't just an affair. He has risked the well being and safety of you and your children by bringing drugs into the family home.

His actions as well as being dishonest are selfish, thoughtless and hurtful. Of course he will be angry if you say any of this to him. That's because he is guilty but will want to pass off that guilt.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Dunroamin

julie2710 wrote: »

My first worry would be as someone else said, that he is happy to bring drugs into a house with his children. What if they had found it?

I would then be questioning the "I get it for a friend" comment. Is he saying he buys it and sells it on to his friend ie is he dealing? Is it just the one person he supplies? Where does he get it?

It was in his work bag so I'm assuming he took it to work. Now I'm not sure what he does but most companies look pretty sternly on people having drugs in their possession whilst at work/on work premises. Does the friend also work in the same place? Is he "dealing" at work?

As last time the drugs were linked to an affair was the friend male? Do you know the friend?

On top of all this is the deceit. Only you can decide if you can overcome that.

I would be inclined to tell him to move put, report him both to the police and his employers, the last thing any home or company needs is a drugs raid. How would you and your children feel if the police came and broke down your door in the middle of the night? Worse still what if the dealer comes knocking at your door when the children are in the house with you. They tend to be even less considerate of people's feelings than police on a drugs raid.

This isn't just an affair. He has risked the well being and safety of you and your children by bringing drugs into the family home.

His actions as well as being dishonest are selfish, thoughtless and hurtful. Of course he will be angry if you say any of this to him. That's because he is guilty but will want to pass off that guilt.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Considering the number of parents who bring alcohol and tobacco into the family home, I think that your reaction is rather OTT. That's not to condone drug use but to encourage a degree of perspective.

mrs_angry

FatVonD wrote: »

I'd be angry that he'd brought drugs into the house where you have kids, that and that he appears to be leading some kind of secret partying lifestyle.

Have you seen any signs that he's been taking amphetamines? I'd have thought it would be pretty hard to hide? (Even if you're not with him during the talking bo11ocks phase, the sleeplessness and irritability when coming down.)

he said he got it from a friend for a friend, said it wasn't used by him, and he is on the large side so that bit I believe as with speed you lose weight and cant eat, both of which he cant not do

julie2710

Dunroamin wrote: »

Considering the number of parents who bring alcohol and tobacco into the family home, I think that your reaction is rather OTT. That's not to condone drug use but to encourage a degree of perspective.

Really? If a toddler takes a little swig out of a vodka bottle then yes it's not ideal but unlikely to end in a fatality. If they take cocaine or speed the outcome may be vastly more serious. I don't like smoking but likewise if they are old enough to be able to light up a cigarette then one or even several will do little more than make them feel a bit sick.

On the other comments I made I've never been raided by the police for keeping a couple of bottles of wine in the cupboard and as far as I'm aware off licenses aren't in the habit of raiding people's homes either. Unless maybe you've run up an excessive tab with them

kwmlondon

mrs_angry wrote: »

he said he got it from a friend for a friend, said it wasn't used by him, and he is on the large side so that bit I believe as with speed you lose weight and cant eat, both of which he cant not do

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh NO.

It was a diet drug. Loss of appetite and big energy, but then afterwards the tendency is to make up!

Idiophreak

Dunroamin wrote: »

Considering the number of parents who bring alcohol and tobacco into the family home, I think that your reaction is rather OTT. That's not to condone drug use but to encourage a degree of perspective.

Not sure I agree...A couple of pills, or a small bag of powder can easily kill a child in a couple of minutes with the parents' backs turned.

Even after necking a whole bottle of vodka a child would stand a decent change of being sorted out in hospital....but of course, hard liquor should be kept safely well away from children anyway...

Dimey

mrs angry - please wake up and smell the roses.

Your husband has just admitted to being a drug dealer. You are now part of a criminal family.

Concentrate on the advice here, especially posts 55,41,40 and 27.

Show this advice to your husband. You both need to take this seriously and get back into decent family life. Think of your innocent children. No good will come of deceit, criminality and drug taking.

mrs_angry

kwmlondon wrote: »

Have you spoken to any of your friends about this? It seems like there are some gigantic trust issues in your relationship and it seems very toxic. The drugs are just a symptom of the problem, not the cause.

you really hit the nail on the head MASSIVE trust issues since his affair, although I would never condone using nor selling drugs etc.... the trust is the issue.

when your with a man for 20 years you just take it for granted that you tell each other everything, (except the little white lies which we all know could hurt, not deceive but hurt and that's the difference)

like I said to him if you are not telling me something that's not a little white lie, its either wrong or illegal, or else you would share with me, if you don't share with me and I find out that then adds to the trust issue.

yes im hurt he would even go anywhere near a drug considering what happened to our son, but im also hurt because he knew it was wrong hence the fact he kept quiet, and for me that's a huge issue because I don't want to be with someone who has those morals

so where does that leave me and my marriage, well ive been out for a drive and a think and have decided that later we will have a big talk, the talk that says I have now had enough, I am a stronger person than I was 15 months ago and if you don't change then you will have to leave as this is not good for me or our children.