Feeling lonely

mintymoneysaver

The week is plodding along, and only one more day in work till the holidays. Although I'm dreading it a bit, I'm also ready for it now! I have my Thursday and Friday of this week planned out, and then only a week to go till I go away, which I am so looking forward to! Even if I had wanted to contact my friend next week I couldn't as he is away so that's good, as it means I can't even think that I 'could' contact him, which I am often tempted to do. I try not to contact him at the moment, as it's too tempting to get back into 'flirting' mood, although we're fine when we see each other in company!

marisco_2

I can relate to the feeling of being ready for a break now. I do wish that my week was just plodding along though. The end of term has taken on a very chaotic nature for me. Tomorrow is going to be a toughie, saying goodbye to my current class who have been absolutely lovely. Also the leavers ceremony for year six is always a total tear jerker, this year especially as they are an extra nice year group. Oh well here is to a relaxing summer giving us the chance to catch up on life, spending valuable time with friends and loved ones building lovely memories with them and totally recharging. Then looking forward to September and new beginnings

mintymoneysaver

I'm going to miss my class too, Marisco, love them! Loads of issues, but have enjoyed them more than a class in a long time. Leavers service was last week, we have lots of last minute stresses which need ironing out tomorrow, to do with maths ( I'm co ordinator) but some of it can wait till September!

What I really want is a ridiculously long lie in, but as I've been waking naturally between 5 and 6 am for months can't see that happening!

mintymoneysaver

The first two days of the holidays passed well, kept myself busy, lots to do. Yesterday was hard, but for different reasons than recently, I suppose. At 7am I was dropping my mum off at a service station, as my closest 'couple' friend picked her up to give her a lift down south for holidays. In a week's time we will all be holidaying together, and I can't wait, but it felt very low waving them off! ( justifiably) 'Friend' is away now too.So youngest daughter and I were in miserable moods yesterday! I kept myself busy, putting up curtains, tidying bedroom, but by mid afternoon I realised needed to get out and do something, so youngest and I headed off to the beach. It did me the world of good, gave me a taster of next week, so I was okay then.
Today is busy, and I have things planned for each day next week, sometimes only little things, but still things to look forward to, and am so looking forward to my holiday now!

In other news I have set up a profile on a dating website! I don't want a date as yet, but I just thought it would be nice to chat to someone. I have started up a nice conversation with a man in Ireland, a bit older, but it's just nice to have someone to chat to. No chance of a relationship which is quite good as it's 'safe' but I am planning a trip to Dublin with a friend in October, so if he wants to take us out for a drink then, then maybe I'll let him! i'm also back in touch with an old male friend, who has been emailing, and is now sending me postcards from his holidays and making me laugh! Again, no relationship problems, but it's just nice to chat to men again, i'd forgotten how much I liked their company!
So as you can tell, i'm feeling a bit more positive! ( Until two weeks time when I'm back from my hols and feeling miserable again!:rotfl:)

spender

The trouble is we always think that other peoples lives are more exciting and people are doing more than we are doing, funny thing is that these people are probably thinking the same!

paulineb_2

spender wrote: »

The trouble is we always think that other peoples lives are more exciting and people are doing more than we are doing, funny thing is that these people are probably thinking the same!

That is very true. Except personally these days I dont, because Ive realised my life is mine and even if other people have an outwardly perfect life, we all have our issues.

I dont always need to be filling my time doing something either, my life is probably very boring compared to some peoples, but being happy with your lot can take some doing.

Theres nothing wrong with having a good old dose of the miseries now and then but if it continues on and on, go and speak to someone about it, Im certainly not one of these people who goes on about PMA all the time, positive mental attitude, but after a couple of very testing years, my life could be a hell of a lot worse and I do appreciate that, very much so.

mintymoneysaver

So I'm back from my holidays. I do think that I've had a little bit of a mini meltdown over the last few months, as although my holiday was lovely I ended up having a major 'wobble' there too. It's very family orientated, with lots of couples, all friends, but I was the only singleton and within two days I was an emotional wreck! Broke down on my friend, had a big sob about being lonely and missing being part of a couple, and then did the same to a male friend that evening! The male friend, and another male friend who were there were my absolute rocks all week, think they realised exactly what I needed, looked after me, made me laugh, talked to me. The rest of the week was great once I'd snapped out of it. Came home on Tuesday and kept myself busy all week, but today has been a wobbly one again. Not helped by the fact that I saw 'friend' yesterday and he messaged me about how sad he was that we'd had to stop. It's seemed so long, nothing to do. I've pottered, been for a walk, tidied and got through it, but I've had a major weeping session again! Hopefully now today is nearly over I can get myself sorted again, as I have a busy weekend. I was walking earlier, and thought to myself that if I could cope with today, then I could cope with another day too as none could be as bad as today.

On the plus side,I've still been emailing my Irish internet dating friend, and he seems really lovely. Again, it's a double edged sword though, he's obviously keen, and there's definitely a little spark, but he's miles away! I am meeting him for lunch ( with my friend as chaperone!) when we go to Dublin though! I also started chatting to another nice sounding bloke, who looked like he lived nearby, until he said he'd recently moved and was now miles away too! I don't half pick 'em! So I'm getting back into the swing of things, though the thought of a real live date is still scary! I've resolved to join meet up to, it's on the 'to do' list that I'm making for myself. Nice irish friend suggested it when I told him I was feeling blue, I'm going to make a list of all the things I want to achieve by next summer holidays and see how many I can manage. Think Number 1 is going to be to have a jolly good fun snog!

mintymoneysaver

How time flies, two and a half months since I last wrote. I'm so out the other side of this all now. It did carry on in the same vein for a few weeks, I really did have a bit of a mini breakdown I think, would burst into tears at the slightest thing. But there were great times too. Went to stay with my closest friend and had the best conversation we had in years, felt able to tell her all the stuff I never could about life with my ex ( as she had been friends with him too) So amongst the tears there was enlightenment.

Going back to work was the best thing that could have happened, I've been busy, sociable and happy. I had my weekend in Dublin, had a truly fantastic time, met the lovely online Irish man ( who cheers me up with emails every day) and have had a great social life too. My friend has recently left her husband, and we have been there for each other, helping each other through. last weekend I had a fabulous night out with all the lovely couples, and it didn't bother me one bit that I was the only singleton there, they are my friends, all of them, regardless of their married state!

Ex and I had a night out together to discuss our future plans ( divorce etc) we got very drunk, very giggly and reminded ourselves why we had actually liked each other in the first place. I would still never ever want him back ( and he now has a new woman!) but it was very cathartic and cleared the air.

I still chat to my friend, on a friendly basis, but there's that extra little smile when i get an email now. We only do it once or twice a week now, and it's all just friendly but it's nice to know that he's still there and we're still friends.

And I am online dating ( or online chatting to be more precise) It's a fun way to fill the times when I still feel a little bit down. i definitely feel like I do want to date again now, just for the company, and I feel happier that I've realised that.

So there you go, sometimes summer isn't all it's cracked up to be!

Brighton_belle

What a lovely update! Thanks so much to taking the time to do that.

spender

Do you know that when you least expect it somebody will come along and you will feel alive and "wanted" again. This does not stop the immediate loneliness but this is just the period of your life you are in at the minute. Stay positive and keep going with the friends and family. Remember as one door closes another will open eventually............

Just read your update, you sound very positive, wonderful