Feeling lonely

mintymoneysaver

I've been at work today, then went for a 4 mile walk, cut the grass, had a nice shower and am now sitting in bed with the laptop. I love this aspect of my life, no one to answer to, I just have those times when it all seems a bit too much like it did yesterday. I have a lovely long summer holiday coming up ( guess what job I do then!!) and it feels like it might actually feel quite empty this year, as my girls will be off doing their own thing a lot of the time. I will find things to fill it, but I think the fact that 'friend' and I won't be chatting and flirting is making it seem harder. I probably should never have started it all, knowing that it wasn't a sensible option, and that we both knew that, so that's making it seem worse.
But Marisco, you're right, I have a lot to look forward to. I'm finally getting my bedroom decorated in a few weeks ( all girly!) after getting a new bed a few weeks ago, I have a week's holiday booked with friends and family ( including the lovely couples!), a trip to the other lovely couple, and a fair few lazy days!
The weekends seem the longest, as there's no work, so the holidays are seeming very, very long ( which should be a good thing, right?)

marisco_2

Hi Minty, I have a feeling we may be in the same profession. I'm most likely running the risk of getting lynched here for admitting to having concerns about having 6+ weeks off too. Our working lives are so busy, focused and full that it is not until time to switch off, unwind and being home is almost upon us that the long summer and how to fill it positively seems a bit of a daunting prospect. It sounds as if you have some lovely things planned and I hope you do enjoy a much deserved break and rest. Enjoy decorating your bedroom, it sounds as if it will be a beautiful and calming sanctuary for you once it is completed.

Netwizard

Our annual leave entitlement runs from March to March. Mid Feb this year I still had 4 weeks worth of leave to take. Didn't really want to take 4 weeks all in one hit, but had not had chance to take it previously.

Initially I was looking forward to a month away from the place and being paid for the luxury, but after a week off (just enough time to chill out, relax and have a break), I was bored out my skull. All my friends were either busy or at work.

Was going stir crazy by the end of the 4 weeks and glad to get back to work! Only so many lie ins' and day time TV you can watch!!

mintymoneysaver

6 weeks is a long time, when there's not a lot to do! Marisco, primary or secondary? I'm primary! Last night I went out with my sister and friends to watch Gok Wan's programme being filmed, and tonight I've had a Parents' evening, had tea and watched the Apprentice.
When I'm not feeling lonely like tonight, I'm fine, but at the weekend I actually had to go to the bathroom just to have a good cry, for fear of crying in front of my daughter! I suppose it's good that the weather's great, because I can at least go for a good walk. I'm dreading the week after I get back from holiday the most. We always have the most fantastic week with friends, but I always have terrible post holiday blues at the best of times, as I've spent the whole week with people to talk to and have fun with. I feel like this year may be worse...:(
I'm sure 99% of the country are sitting at home doing exactly the same as me, but you always think it's just you, don't you?

paulineb_2

My mum has been on her own for the best part of 30 years after a very abusive relationship. Im sure shes had her very lonely times, but shes always gone out and done stuff, shes not a big socialiser, but shes done art classes, pottery.

Ive also been single for around 8 years now, give or take a few short term relationships and there have been times where Ive been terribly lonely, but a lot of that has come from not being able to socialise, loss of confidence. Im not really into pubs and clubs but Ive been out more in the last 6 months than I have for several years.

And really, having been in a relationship last year with someone who turned out to be not what I thought he was I see the value of being in the right relationship not a wrong one.

I also appreciate that I have my freedom to do and wear what the hell I like, because Ive been out with a couple of people who were extremely negative towards me.

Im better at living in the now than I used to be. In fact, sometimes its good just to value being alive. Having lost a close relative very suddenly a couple of years back, I dont sweat the small stuff as much and I try and make every day count and a lot of people have it much worse than I do.

Netwizard

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

We always have the most fantastic week with friends, but I always have terrible post holiday blues at the best of times, as I've spent the whole week with people to talk to and have fun with.

I think everyone is the same on that score, me especially, so your not alone there!!

marisco_2

I am so envious of you having gone and seen Gok, I love that guy. I hope you really enjoyed the evening minty. I am sorry to hear that your emotions overwhelmed you at the weekend. A good cry can do you the world of good at times though and I hope you felt much better for it afterward.

I work in primary too. Despite having been in the profession for years I still get an immense buzz from teaching. Term time is always full on but I find it so enjoyable to immerse myself in all the wonderful activities and learning journeys the children are experiencing. I get totally carried along with their energy and enthusiasm. We go out of our way to bring the kids learning to life at the school where I work. So for weeks at a time I am busy all day.

My children are little and evenings revolve around ferrying them to clubs and activities, sorting dinner, keeping on top of household stuff etc before flaking into bed. Weekends we either catch up with family and friends or have a quiet one and enjoy time by ourselves down the park or beach. They pass way too quickly and I have often barely had time to catch up with myself.

Life seems to come to a grinding halt every few weeks though and suddenly I am faced with a week or two, or in the summer six weeks ahead of me to fill productively. I am not great at winding down and taking it easy, much prefer being on the go and occupied. I can totally relate to the post holiday blues feeling, that is never easy. Who in their right minds ever wants to return from a holiday to normaldom For the week after your return could you arrange some little treats for yourself to look forward to. Book yourself in for a pamper session down a salon, arrange to see friends for lunch, book tickets for a local theatre or to see a film at the cinema. That may help a lot.

pennypenny123

I feel a bit scared reading this thread. i am nearer 60 than 50 and think i may be in this position sooner rather than later and I wonder how I would cope.
It's not a situation i want but feel I may have no option but don't know how I would cope.

marisco_2

pennypenny123 wrote: »

I feel a bit scared reading this thread. i am nearer 60 than 50 and think i may be in this position sooner rather than later and I wonder how I would cope.
It's not a situation i want but feel I may have no option but don't know how I would cope.

Hi and welcome to MSE,

It can take a bit of time to adjust to being on your own, embracing a new chapter of your life and enjoying it. However from experience the thought of this change is far more daunting and worrying than the reality. There are a lot of positives too and there are many really lovely people on here to come and chat things over with

paulineb_2

I think as you have said yourself the catalyst for this feeling was the flirty banter with the friend. Until then you were doing fine.

And you also recognise that your marriage wasn't happy. Id say if these feelings continue over an extended period of time and you are feeling low and teary, go and speak to someone, your GP.

Sometimes it can take a while after a break up for emotions to reach the surface and as I said before, yes you want a relationship, but would you want one that would make you unhappy, I doubt it.

Most of the time, I enjoy being single, I value it and yes I get lonely sometimes but there are so many people out there who are single, separated, divorced, theres a lot of single people out there.

Make the most of the friends and social life you have, yes its also natural to have post holiday blues but don't let that spoil the holiday while you are there.