University Campus or Home?

stebiz

balletshoes wrote: »

Some prefer to have their own place, their own income, their own lifestyle, without living with their men (straightaway or maybe not at all ).

Of course that's her choice. What she has said is that 'Dad, I don't think I would like to live in a communal house with other students. It's okay with my own room at Uni but if I can't get that I wouldn't stay'.

She is a very private person with sensible shoulders. She's not going to Uni because she wants sex, drugs and partying. She wants an education so she can get a good career. Too much emphasis on the so called experience and not enough on her doing well.

Person_one

stebiz wrote: »

What's that mean? Don't women live with fellas any more?

Some do, some don't.

They don't tend to just wait around in their parents' homes sighing and keeping their virtue intact until a handsome man comes a-courting though.

stebiz

thorsoak wrote: »

Just what century are you living in Stebiz???? You'd be happy if your 18 year old daughter found a nice guy to move in with???? Seriously??

What has your wife got to say about this?

I'm 70, married at 20 with no regrets - but in this day and age I would be having kinippety fits if my 18 year old granddaughter were proposing to do the same! Give the girl her independance, for heaven's sake!

I said quote 'when she's ready'. If she found a guy at 18 or whatever age I'd be happy for her. I found mine at 15;)

Person_one

stebiz wrote: »

Of course that's her choice. What she has said is that 'Dad, I don't think I would like to live in a communal house with other students. It's okay with my own room at Uni but if I can't get that I wouldn't stay'.

She is a very private person with sensible shoulders. She's not going to Uni because she wants sex, drugs and partying. She wants an education so she can get a good career. Too much emphasis on the so called experience and not enough on her doing well.

Its not unheard of for people to have casual sex, dabble in drugs, drink far too much and still leave uni with a first. Don't ask me how I know.

What about all the other aspects of uni life though? Societies, clubs, political involvement, volunteering, socialising while sober, travel opportunities, sport?

balletshoes

stebiz wrote: »

I said quote 'when she's ready'. If she found a guy at 18 or whatever age I'd be happy for her. I found mine at 15;)

what if she's 33? Would you prefer she stayed in your home until then? What age do you think she should start striking out on her own (I'm not disagreeing with you that at age 18 she might not be ready to).

sulphate

balletshoes wrote: »

your situation isn't the same as the OPs daughter though - she's never had any time living away from home, she doesn't stand on her own 2 feet, and it sounds like the OP is happy to subsidise her all the way through uni without her having to budget for anything really.

Maybe but most people will only learn to budget when they have to. If OP's daughter isn't given everything on a plate when she is at uni she will have to learn how to budget whether or not she stays at home or goes away.

stebiz

Arthien wrote: »

:eek:

So much for freedom and independence to make her own decisions!

I have nearly 30k of student debt, my OH has about 20k (I got no grants or bursaries, unlike him) and I can honestly say it doesn't bother me. I pay back my loan every month but I don't even see it go, and I'm coping so well financially that I can afford to pay for my own wedding and to buy my own house, only 2 years after graduating.

It's very narrow-minded to think it will ruin the rest of her life. In fact, I make a joke of the fact that (if I hypothetically never got a better job, or quit to have a family, or moved abroad) I would actually have a free education, just as my parents did, because I would never fully repay my loan within the 25 year repayment period!

Congratulations on your 50k debt. Should only take about 20 years before Arthien plc starts to make a net profit.;)

balletshoes

sulphate wrote: »

Maybe but most people will only learn to budget when they have to. If OP's daughter isn't given everything on a plate when she is at uni she will have to learn how to budget whether or not she stays at home or goes away.

I agree - but it does sound like the OP is going to give her mostly everything on a plate, if he expects she'll be able to save for a house deposit from her student maintenance award, without having a job as well.

stebiz

balletshoes wrote: »

what if she's 33? Would you prefer she stayed in your home until then? What age do you think she should start striking out on her own (I'm not disagreeing with you that at age 18 she might not be ready to).

She isn't far off being ready but even herself says that she wished it would be another couple of years. So much so she was thinking of resitting her AS year, as this would be funded and then going in 2 years time. Maybe then she'll feel happier leaving.

It's like saying to somebody your 17 so you must learn to drive. If they don't feel ready or would rather wait surely that's their choice.

stebiz

balletshoes wrote: »

I agree - but it does sound like the OP is going to give her mostly everything on a plate, if he expects she'll be able to save for a house deposit from her student maintenance award, without having a job as well.

I did say she was looking for a job.