The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

savingqueen

Morning all,

been both busy with tasks and pre-occupied with issues to think about the last few days so sorry I haven't posted. I am not in the head state to play catch up so will just send hugs to all- those posting and those reading and absent friends alike.

I did remember your post stilts and I'm sure I would feel as you did and sending you one of my extra special hugs. However I would also add that I do feel sorry for the little birthday girl to have a mother like that, poor kid and also to miss out on your DD's company as she obviously enjoys spending time with her.

Your lovely DD (and DS too) are so lucky to have such a caring, thoughtful, non-judgemental, creative (not to forget OSing) and generally wonderful mum. Missing a party is sad for your DD yes but she has a lifetime of good parenting and life enriching experiences ahead of her - what does that other kid really have?

Good idea fuddle to make some meals at MILs as well as the cost factor, your MIL will enjoy being cooked for and eating different meals. Win win.

Princess - good luck with appointment and don't forget to report back here later. Don't forget - we will be with you from the second you open your front door to the second you are back home again. Re TV - will is cost more to finish the payments or to buy a new TV? That might help you decide.

Struggling a bit lately with tiredness and low mood - wonder if the ADs are working or not. I mean without them would I feel worse or are they just not working? How can you tell?

I am not back to my normal routine yet, kids not been to swimming classes and I am not going to the gym but I have invited some friends over for coffee on Fri morning as they have never been here as a group (but been to all of theirs more than once.) That means getting the house sorted tomorrow (and a bit today) and getting out of my comfort zone re new people coming to our house as its in need of repair/redecoration and cluttered (though working on that slowly.) DS6 also has a school friend coming over on Fri so that's another positive.

DS6 refused to go in to school this morning, not a total Master Angry as was in the past, just coat and bag flung on the wet ground, folded arms and cross face. As he was in school grounds near his class door I enlisted the help of a truly wonderful TA who talked him in, well a joint effort. Crossness turned to tears and I was able to talk to him enough to calm him and his equally wonderful teacher gently asked if he would like to have a chat with his super wonderful Learning Mentor. LM phoned me while I was ambling about the aisles of Mr T to say all calm on the western front. Phew! She knew I would worry all day otherwise.

I did feel the looks from a couple of parents when DS wouldn't go in. I saw some of them chatting near the gates after and one of them says hello to me so I took a deep breath and made a point of saying DS was fine now and explaining how when he is upset (which he was for various little things and tired from a broken night's sleep) he gets cross before getting upset. I wanted all the others to hear too and so I could hold my head high and not feel embarrassed when I had no reason to be.

I think a lot of DS6's sadness/anger is to do with not seeing any grandparents for a long time since the double fallouts (which the school know about.) MIL contacted us recently to ask if she could take our boys out for tea one day after school when she is over (from Ireland) in a couple of weeks time. Both DH and I discussed and agreed yes but I set a condition that one of us drives them and collects them. The reason being that both MIL and FIL drink drive and I don't trust them to be sober when the kids are in their car.

DH nearly got angry with me, no-one else in his family think they have a drink problem - I know from experience in my side of family they do, 101% clear in my mind. It is a very sensitive issue for DH, he doesn't want to accept his mum is alcohol dependent but I think he is finally coming to terms with it. DH has booked a half day's leave so he can take the boys to meet grandparents and stay for the meal as well so 100% safe and I am spared seeing them as we haven't seen them for 18 months so not sure how they will be. The main thing is hopefully the kids will feel better emotionally.

Then we will have to do the same with my parents but as they don't drive, live 3 hours away and my Dad won't use public transport, it's trickier. DH has said maybe we will book into a cheap hotel one weekend for a night and drop the children off for a few hours. Problem is DH will not allow my sister to see them yet as she is the root to my side of the family's falling out - and she lives with our parents.

Apologies for long post, I have a lot of stuff whizzing round my head at the moment.

Not getting much done today, one much cuppa and then off to do some chores.

sq

ArthriticOldThing

Bonfire night can be frightening round here. When our sons were young we had a few years when had to completely block the letterbox because 'children' used to push lighted fireworks thru it. :eek: I was worried sick about it but thankfully that has stopped now. Those involved must have grown up and left.

Last night quite a few families had fireworks parties on the lawn in front of the flats. There were no problems but was very noisy. Unfortunately some have left the debris for others to clean up.:eek:

fuddle you seem to be coping well with an awkward situation with MIL. Absolutely disgraceful you're being harassed in such a manner by the agents, hope its sorted soon.

Am a bit hazy at moment as sleeping very badly because of legs. Was up at 3 the other morning putting ice on the shins. Have had to up the painkillers which don't like to do. As a result am sort of shambling about.

Hope you all have a good day.:)

kidcat

stiltwalker - I didnt get chance to reply yesterday as I was supporting a family through a private diagnosis meeting.
Your party invitation isse, I know you said the TA was aware of it, but I think I would also mention it to the teacher/head, TAs are lovely people but often dont pass on those snippets of information as they feel its not their place. The number of times I have assumed that school knew about an issue because the TA had seen it/heard it, when in fact they didnt have a clue. Worth a chat as nipping any issues in the bud now is easier than allowing it to fester, if school can be pro-active and allay parents fears/prejudices at this early stage it will give DD a better chance to fully integrate. Maybe they could have an afternoon where the parents of the class are invited in to see some artwork or similar and use the opportunity to explain how incredibly pleased they are to have the opportunity to work with SEN kids within the mainstream class, explaining the condition and resulting issues. Most prejudices stem from fear of the unknown, educating the parents will hopefully take away the unknown for them.

alfsmum

princess good luck with your course today. You've been before and you can do it again, however difficult it may seem. You will get there.

Not sure I can advise about the TV. Does HP mean you can just get the firm in question to take it away as if you were renting it? If so, sounds like a good option. Cut your losses and get a cheap Tv outright when you can, usually lots in the small ads as people constantly upgrade.

Lyn that menu sounds lovely. I would like to pluck up the courage to go on a bread making course one day. I can follow a recipe to a T but it never quite turns out as it should where bread is concerned think I get the mixture too wet or too dry despite adding exactly what the recipe demands


Fuddle let's hope you get your deposit sorted soon, rotten that you have all the hassle and chasing round. New start soon though

FPK plenty of loud bangs here yesterday but dogs and cats were Ok, not too fazed. Think it affects me more than them! We had a few sparklers on the patio even though DDs are 16 and 19 they still love them.

Called in to see my Mum at the home yesterday, lovely staff fussing round her, she was watching Tv (load of rubbish, she said) and enjoying tea and biscuits and her view of the garden from the residents lounge. Good to see her clean and comfy and happy in herself even if she doesn't really know where she is. Had to write to my aunties this morning with details of Mum's new home, easier for me to type a letter and print a couple of copies than ring each of them. They can certainly talk! One of them was adamant that her sister shouldn't go into a home but she hasn't seen her for ages and doesn't realise how she has deteriorated. easy to judge from a distance.

Waiting for dd to get home from Uni so I can pop into village. DH is expecting some running shoes he won to be delivered today and I'd never hear the end of it if there was no one home to get the delivery:rotfl:

Rotten weather today, dull and very wet. Off to rummage in the freezer and see what needs using up this week, something warming I think.

KIDCAT hope you are starting to feel better after the dentist. I was due to go tomorrow for a filling but have had to postpone for a couple of weeks as Dh wasn't free to take me and I can't manage it on my own yet. What a wimp:rotfl:

SQ hugs, what a tough time you have but you still post and support those who need it.

AOT sorry you aren't sleeping, does this damp weather make things worse for you? Maybe you can manage some power naps? Take care

mardatha

Sorry not been about, been busy soaping. Lavender, Lime, Bergamot, Mint, and Strawberry this time. Then the printer decided to sit down and sulk and I had to stop meself kicking it.
I was thinking (well when the printer went on strike I was forced to!) - about how much stress is out of our control and how much is is of our own making.. When I stopped work I also stopped stressing. I just don't and that's it. I throw worries out to the universe and trust, and they resolve themselves in due time. We seem to always need, as humans, to have a wee ball of worry to fill up that space inside of us that should be calm, tranquil and beautiful. It's so sad.

floss2

savingqueen wrote: »

....Then we will have to do the same with my parents but as they don't drive, live 3 hours away and my Dad won't use public transport, it's trickier. DH has said maybe we will book into a cheap hotel one weekend for a night and drop the children off for a few hours. Problem is DH will not allow my sister to see them yet as she is the root to my side of the family's falling out - and she lives with our parents.....

Is there anywhere locally that your parents could get to where you could meet as a family without your sister being invited? Might be less stressful for all concerned?

kidcat wrote: »

...Your party invitation isse, I know you said the TA was aware of it, but I think I would also mention it to the teacher/head, TAs are lovely people but often dont pass on those snippets of information as they feel its not their place. The number of times I have assumed that school knew about an issue because the TA had seen it/heard it, when in fact they didnt have a clue. Worth a chat as nipping any issues in the bud now is easier than allowing it to fester, if school can be pro-active and allay parents fears/prejudices at this early stage it will give DD a better chance to fully integrate. Maybe they could have an afternoon where the parents of the class are invited in to see some artwork or similar and use the opportunity to explain how incredibly pleased they are to have the opportunity to work with SEN kids within the mainstream class, explaining the condition and resulting issues. Most prejudices stem from fear of the unknown, educating the parents will hopefully take away the unknown for them.

I think that's a great idea - it's also an opportunity for the school to stress how they are giving a good moral & inclusive side to the educating of the pupils by them all having everyday contact with your DD and her being an accepted part of the school family . Might even make one or two parents think about their own behaviour too.

Chucking it down here so am actually glad to be in work

Need to start to sort out my baking/cooking/crafty stuff as we are hoping to complete on Friday for our "extension", so I will be able to move everything in soon

DH away this week, so tea is l/o chicken pasta bake (again ) but I've got an open evening to go to tonight at a local cakey-bakey shop with 10% off - must remember to leave my purse at home :rotfl:

floss2

mardatha wrote: »

...I was thinking (well when the printer went on strike I was forced to!) - about how much stress is out of our control and how much is is of our own making.. When I stopped work I also stopped stressing. I just don't and that's it. I throw worries out to the universe and trust, and they resolve themselves in due time. We seem to always need, as humans, to have a wee ball of worry to fill up that space inside of us that should be calm, tranquil and beautiful. It's so sad.

You should think more often Mar, that's beautiful & very apt.

Can I send you some h/m sweeties to sample BTW?! I can't let DH try them as they are for his birthday and/or Christmas box!

alfsmum

mardatha wrote: »

Sorry not been about, been busy soaping. Lavender, Lime, Bergamot, Mint, and Strawberry this time. Then the printer decided to sit down and sulk and I had to stop meself kicking it.
I was thinking (well when the printer went on strike I was forced to!) - about how much stress is out of our control and how much is is of our own making.. When I stopped work I also stopped stressing. I just don't and that's it. I throw worries out to the universe and trust, and they resolve themselves in due time. We seem to always need, as humans, to have a wee ball of worry to fill up that space inside of us that should be calm, tranquil and beautiful. It's so sad.

How true, we do like to worry, very often about things over which we have no control. I know I am guilty of this but am trying hard to be grateful for what we have now and where we are in our lives as you never know what is around the corner.

Bet your kitchen smell lovely Mar

Can't believe I've had to put the light on at this time of day, so gloomy, can't see to do the mending.

mardatha

Awh Floss pet that is so nice of you. I went low carb on the 15th June and haven't cheated at all. Yet. So noooo don't tempt me! I will stay on it until the week before xmas, then cheat like hell until after New Year lol.
What I'm looking for is nice blogs featuring home made xmas crafty things..if anybody knows of any then please tell me

kezlou

fuddle wrote: »

Youngest DD felt snubbed on sports day this summer when the children with needs were given a medal for trying and taking part. DD wasn't and got so upset because she felt she tried and took part and being 4 didnt really think there was any difference between her and her friends so that decision to differentiate between children was, in my opinion, damaging and not very well thought out.

Oh thats awful they should have treated ALL the children exactly the same. poor thing no wonder she was upset.
Where ds2 goes all the children get a certificate and a bag of sweets saying well done, tried really hard etc That way none of the children are left out and they have a little party for them all with balloons and things with a big banner "well done everybody for taking part!" . Must admit the pupils competes in teams and are fairly balanced, at the end of sports day they have individual medals for say example good sportsmanship etc
This year a little boy with severe allergies who couldn't take part in sports day because of the grass. got a a medal for being a fantastic helper and giving out drinks. The head teacher said its a very important job and is essential. So the little boy was chuffed to bits his certificate.

That way everyone is treated equally, breaks down barriers and mainly allows the children to build up they confidence and self esteem in a really pleasant way.

byatt - lovely seeing you

nutty :T:T looks like its finally being resolved

princess hows the counselling going? i haven't seen mine for a while so need to phone them. Your not annoying in anyway shape or form!

got another meeting at the school today, so will be shooting off to do that shortly.
ds2 wasn't happy again but settled once we got to school. Got a few looks but just raised my head and walked away.
Poor kid was shattered yesterday after the bonfire.

Might be off to see a friend today and taking ds2 with me to play with his friend. They are so adorable together, his friend has a diagnosis of autism but were going through the process again with ds2. Honestly first time they met they hit it off straight away so going mental playing pirates.
The witches kids he didn't and found it really hard straight away, they too loud for him.

Turns out she going through hell with her own witches,she asked about mine. She heard about it through LA. Told her what they had accused me off and no your not like that i've seen you and would never ever speak like that. Them on the other hand are forty faced and horrid doing that us and the boys. so hopefully will go and see her. She hasn't been well and been in hopistal for ages. So all being well will pop up later and a good catch up x