The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

stiltwalker

Hi Byatt - lovely to see you again, thanks for that - knew you'd know what I mean (but so sorry that is true IYKWIM)

DD seems ok although she did have a bad dream earlier - it's one of the hard things about parenting a child with communication difficulties - the more upset she is, the less likely I am to be able to understand what she is trying to communicate. Hopefully just a bad dream about something else though as she does sometimes get them.

On a more positive note - having a productive evening here making felt beads and catching up on some telly. I have a welly tray (big plastic tray designed to put wellies and outdoor boots on) which I put on the coffee table so I can do small pieces of felt and felt beads in front of the telly to be sociable with DH without dripping water everywhere. Doing a stall of my felt jewellery at the PTA Christmas shopping event at school in a couple of weeks so need to get busy as would be nice to have a few extra pennies to spend at the Knit and Stitch show when I go with my mum at the end of the month.

We're a bit quiet on here today so hope everyone is ok. Much love and hugs to all - X

kezlou

Stiltwalker -aw hunni that awful person. Poor dd, theres nothing worse than dealing with rejection especially with a child. We had that all the way through with ds1 and ds2, poor kids went through hell. But your dd will get through this as shes a lovely bubbly girl x

Went to the makaton course and it was, really good.

Managed to get ds2 out to the firework display, for two hours, it was a total nightmare. But once we got there hr calmed down, found a nice quiet spot and we were able to the display without much trauma

Just watching downton abbey then bed for me

stiltwalker

Sounds good Kez - we got DD to 'do' fireworks last year at Center Parcs when we were on honeymoon as they only did the quieter ones - our village display is fantastic but the bloke who organises it (bless him, he is a village star and does loads of stuff for the village) has a bit of a thing for big bangs so we don't take them anymore after a particularly disastrous trip a couple of years back.

We do Makaton with the kids - have done the introductory 2 day course last year an we are off to the 2 day intermediate course in January.

Enough beads made for another 4 necklace and earring sets so giving up now as I have seriously wrinkly hands!!! Love felting - hate the prune effect!! lol

fuddle

Aw Byatt, lovely to see you on here again

Welcome home Lyn... did you learn anything you didn't already know on your cookery course?

Stiltwalker, I wonder if it might help some of the upset for yourself to think of the parent as being small minded enough to feel uncomfy with having DD there - meaning it's her own ignorance and issues that veto'd having a child with needs she doesn't understand so therefore nothing to do with little stilts at all. An adults ignorance can be the most hurtful thing in the world. It can happen the other way round too. Youngest DD felt snubbed on sports day this summer when the children with needs were given a medal for trying and taking part. DD wasn't and got so upset because she felt she tried and took part and being 4 didnt really think there was any difference between her and her friends so that decision to differentiate between children was, in my opinion, damaging and not very well thought out. I guess as adults we make calls based on 'what is right for us to be able to cope' and sometimes miss the whole bigger picture.

Coping well with being in limbo at MIL's house. It takes me 4 hours of travelling time daily to get the children to school and is costing a lot in petrol. I'm trying to stay at 56mph to conserve as much as possible and from tonight DH is able to do the pick ups so will cut it down by half.

I'm finding expectations a little weird. I feel conscious that I help out with the food costs but MIL uses brand names which means that items cost a lot more to replace than what I normally pay. I think the way round it is for me to offer to do the evening meals so therefore get my own ingredients and do it my way, as frugally as I can. I made chilli and jacket potatoes last night which went down well. Corrned beef and potato pie tonight.

Officially handed the keys to the agent yesterday. We calls off to see the landlords in the site office before we left, explained the situation that the agents hadn't arranged any check out with us and were sending CCJ letters. One of them called the agent and got very cross indeed. Their excuse? It wasn't her job but ours to liaise with her. Our landlord put the phone on speaker where DH was able to identify from his call log 3 phone calls where he had tried to arrange check outs and then our landlord said that he was paying for a service that makes sure the agents take on all the paperwork and sorting and that at no point was any of it to be left it the tenants to arrange, that we would be calling into the office to hand I've the keys and that he wood be following to arrange withdrawing all the houses that they care for. It's so annoying that we're decent human being who have made sure the house is left in an immaculate state and we still have stress to deal with.

Why is it that everything we seem to do is a flaming headache! I have a phone loaded with pictures to cover my own back but it's not good enough. I just hope they hurry up with getting my deposit back to me.

nuttyp

good morning, have an early start at work today as I am opening up. Thought I would pop by and just say 'HI'.

Work was alright yesterday, collegue has been told not to come to work until end of week for a decision. I had a call yesterday to check I was OK, he just re iterated that had dome the right thing. At the interview under caution said collegue did admit to drinking at work on one occasion, but not sure which one as there is more than one. So everything is out of my hands, will just have to wait and see.

My friend called to say thankyou for asking for the kitchen on freecycle on his behalf. He said it is a lot of units, worktops and even a built in oven and hob. So he has everything he needs for his house.

He rang to thank me and said he owes me a favour!!

Well off to work, have a good day everyone.

FairyPrincessk

Morning all,

For my part, I'm relieved bonfire night is over. I sincerely wish that fireworks were restricted and only councils could buy them for shows in parks. They were all over all day yesterday, which was only mildly annoying until it started to get dangerous. As OH was coming home, some grown (MIDDLE AGED) men drove up in a car, dropped something off at neighbour's door and ran back to car to drive off. OH had his wits about him and dove behind a car instead of unlocking door, which was a good thing as he was almost hit by the firework anyway! We live in terraced houses and the doors are right next to each other. There were several kids playing the road, fortunately none of them were near enough to be hurt and they came down to check on OH. I was upstairs in the house and it was so loud I was convinced it had come through our letterbox so I was looking down from upstairs trying to determine if it was safe to go down. OH saw me looking out the window and told me what had happened and went to knock on neighbour's door to check if he was all right. One of his companions opened the door (completely drunk as always) and said it was their friends and seemed to think the incident was hilarious. The other neighbours came out and seemed unimpressed. We have several issues with this neighbour, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I was ready to phone the police, but OH said to leave it as it would only rile them up. They came back later but didn't kick off, saw both of us looking out the windows at them and shouted up.

Needless to say we were both on edge last night. I even taped the letterbox shut, must go down and remove it soon or the postie will think I don't want what he's bringing.:rotfl:

Stiltwalkerwhat appalling behaviour. When I was growing up the rule was always if you were inviting people at school then the whole class is invited, otherwise it wasn't to be talked about at school. Of course it still got out, but it wasn't such the big deal.

Nutty It sounds as if you're about to have a resolution. I so pleased you stayed strong!

Princess How are things? I always enjoy your updates even when I don't get a chance to respond. You aren't annoying us.

Hugs to any and all who need them.

[Deleted User]

Hiya FUDDLE yes, we used some completely new ingredients and cooking techniques on the course so I've extended my repertoire of scandi dishes by some way. DD1 and I really enjoyed the day, there were some really nice people on the course, 12 of us altogether and Signe Johannson the Chef running the course was lovely, very friendly and easy to work with so all in all a lovely time. We ate all the lovely things we made for lunch sat at a huge long table so we had

Spelt, Beetroot and Goats cheese salad with raspberry vinegar and dill pollen dressing, decorated with edible flowers

Gravadlax with toasted sourdough bread and Dill Mustard Sauce

Seafood Chowder

Almond filled Yeasted Christmas Kringle (sweet dough wreath)

Norwegian Chocolate Truffles

It was yummy!!! Cheers Lyn xxx.

PRINCESSX87

Hi all.

FPK. I cant understand so called adults attitude's towards fireworks. Surely their of an age now to understand the dangers caused. I haven't a clue how you or MRFPK stayed calm!!

So I have counselling this afternoon. I have managed to do the homework side of it. Again nervous about having to attend (travelling alone) again. But have a more positive attitude towards the whole thing now. I must say I'm dreading the coming weeks because I know I have to expand & let my barriers down!!

I am finally starting to see "improvements" in our debts too! One nearly paid off in full - But I do have an issue...

I got a TV on HP. On the understanding that I would be able to pay it off quickly (This was a error on my part when I was suffering badly with MH)

We've had it a little while now and OH has asked me to find out how much was left on the account. In doing so, I have now found out that a lot more if owing instead of what we assumed because of interest fee's. OH has told me to get rid of it now and forget about how much we have already paid off. Start a fresh and get a cheap TV from Argos or alike.

I don't know whether that is the right thing to do though. One part of me is saying just pay the remaining amount & be done. But the other part is telling me that OH is right & just get rid.

All in all, Looking back we are paying well over the odds for something that we could get for £150+ at the stores. What would you O/S do??

FairyPrincessk

Princess,

Without knowing the details of how much/how many payments left vs. how cheaply you could get another television, it is hard to say. What I would say is that this decision looks like it falls under one of the goals in your signature (become debt free) and I think I'd go with whichever option best served my long term goals. Now, if one of your goals was to acquire a nice telly, it might be different, but I don't see that on your list.;)

Stay strong and remind yourself of what is most important to you and I think the answer should be pretty straightforward.

Hugs.

kidcat

Princessx - I am not sure I fully understand your post - but I have just come home from dentist so am still traumatised.
If you are suggesting selling your TV to pay the loan/credit, are you sure what you could sell it for will cover the costs? Second hand TVs dont sell for anywhere near the cost.