The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

gailey_2

Afternoon guys.

been sunny dry but chilly day.

Today done preschool run for 4 year old, 7 year old school have inset day

went up high street got some 2nd hand boden tops from lovely lady who brought off before.

checked out co-op and sainsburys for reductions were none.

took bus home as small boy decided he wanted to be carried and dident take buggy this morning.

Then when got home decided to do jobs putting off

checked online school open days.
rang opticians booked eldests next appointment
filled in form and posted it.
paid 1 bill online.
responded to few emails.
started fillig in my new pound shop academic diary with key dates and contact numbers find sept-jul works better for me than calender year with kids schools/nursery ect.
Hubby rang hes having ok day.
got bit laundry done but have mountain stuff to put away.
fed ducks some rolls that seen better days on way back from preschool, 4year old had ok day.

Checked emails and dident notice a voucherr. boden keep sending me £10 gift vouchers to reward my loyaly i rarly shop with them new although like their kids stuff.

Anyway there was 15%off+free delivery and returns.

so me and eldest had look found a long sleeve jersey top she liked £9.95 with discount then used voucher code making it Free not even paying for postage. They sent me same one few months ago ad she got new top then as they usually cheapest item.They normally £16-£18new.
Quite chuffed as lots bargains latly but none in eldests age group.

made kids easy tea of breaded chicken and fries which they hardly touched. fed up cooknirg stuff and them not eating it.

ordered veg box from dairy so look forward to what surprise stuff but fruibowl nearly empty ad runnig low on potatoes.

Saw front page of sun killer spiders in sainsburys bananas think be giving their bananas a miss . Wat made me chuckle more of eldest saying oh dear wandering spiders mummy they very dangerous you know she learnt at school! Apparently sainbsurys offered £10 compensation and poor family had to have their house fumigated.

Looked for chestnuts on way home but dont hold much hope much more still one tree at lrge park not tried due to poor weather.

Hope every ones good ad wrapping up warm.

cornishchick

Hi guys
Work went ok once I got back into the swing of it, so spent the day supporting a young man to visit charity shops, eat lunch in a fish and chip shop..:rotfl:
my job is great apart from the paper work.....

Sheila, as far as I am aware, as your husbands main carer , there should be some emergency provision for short breaks, when the carer is to ill to care.

In other news, just heard that a B & M store has opened in the town I was working in today. I have heard it's a good place to shop, but didn't want to go in with no cash on me.......

Hugs and stuff to all.
X CC

floss2

shegar wrote: »

POOKY ....Excellent post from you, also youve hit the nail on the head with "going into permanent nursing care", he will be back very soon from his week in respite so im going to fine the "right time" to talk to him.......But I feel guilty about long term care as he is only 53 years old...........Sheila

Sheila, maybe you would both be able to enjoy all the future years if your beloved DH was being cared for professionally, and your health needs would be easier managed without the stress of caring.

It must be incredibly difficult to have to think or talk about this, I wish you both the very biggest hugs I can manage.

Floss x

wondercollie

Pooky: I live in northern Canada. It's -7 today and beautiful. The sky is that clear blue with not a cloud visible for miles. They don't call it big sky country for nothing. The snow is staying. It won't melt now until mid-April if we are lucky. I lost my lavender bush this weekend.. The husband was supposed to wrap it in burlap and bring it close to the house walls. I just noticed it buried in snow and folded in half.

Shegar, I started my life as a nurse in longterm/continuing care. We had/have many patients younger than your husband. I found it really interesting to notice how some families dealt with it. It ranged from total abandonment to residents who only slept, bathed and received PT or OT and then spent a lot of time at home. One chap told me his family made more of an effort to spend time with him since he "moved in here" than they did when I lived three miles from them. The main thing is not to feel guilty when you make the decision. It's for the benefit and well being of both of you.

Having said that it's not uncommon at this time of year over here to have families simply dump their elders at the emergency room and walk away when they feel that the system isn't working for them. It's well know that once the patient is in the acute care system and need long term care they get priority in bed location.

If you've got the time, go and look at the places locally he might be living at, ask any questions you can think of. Don't go for the prettiest but the one that offers the kind of care you want.

Having said that, I'm taking it easy tonight for supper. It's a fry up night and I found some black pudding the other day. Not very easy to find in this area. Moose yes, black pudding no.

kezlou

wow wondercollie sounds amazing
We can't wait for the snow to start falling.

Sheila please don't feel guilty, as an adult he should be entitled to more than 12 weeks a year. It just doesn't sound right to me.
Speak to your gp and your local carers office and see if they is any extra funding which you can access.

Regarding care, my friends husband is going through the same thing.
He's felt incredibly guilty. But three months later, and both of they lives have dramatically improved. He's able to take her out everyday whilst having the time to himself and be to sleep. His wife comes home once a month to spend with each other. so they still have time together in the same home, if that makes sense.

She is 61 yrs and he is 59 yrs, so still young. Before she went into the home, they were both very stressed and he was exhausted and constantly ill. Now his health has improved and in his words they marriage is even stringer and he loves her more than ever.

It is a really hard decision to make, lots of hugs x


I hope i haven't over stepped the mark and if i have i do apologise.

kezlou

Been stuck in the house all day doing paperwork and things, decided to be broomstick and take my own advice.

After that i decided to walk to school and gave myself severe blisters.Then took the lads to a fun night and had a good chat with friends. To be honest i kind of got into a situation where i was required to support someone. It was really had as i was being watched and glared at by the witches intently.

Hopefully they coming along to the coffee morning so should be able to have offer more an ear then.

Gailey fab deals with the vouchers.
lynn hope you daughter is feeling better

I haven't seen any reductions lately, so struggling with budgeting at the moment.
Made two quiches today and a lemon and polenta cake. Can't wait to try it

monnagran

Hi.

Have read all through the weekend's news and can't remember any of it.
Do remember She's sad situation though. It's one of those things that doesn't really have a right answer, does it? What I would say is "How is it going to help your DH if you collapse under the strain of looking after him?" To be honest, I wouldn't fancy your work load if I was young and fit. To have to carry on with the health problems you already have must be next to impossible. I pray that something can be sorted out quickly for you simply cannot go on like this.

Lovely day here today. We celebrated it by going to a funeral and then the cash and carry. What a waste of a sunny day.

Tomorrow we are taking a dear lady to the mainland to scatter her husband's ashes. It's a round trip of about 10 hours and the weather forecast is dire - storms and gales. I'm not looking forward to it, the ferry crossing is bound to be horrendous.

My house is still in a state of slumminess and no chance of doing anything about it until Thursday at least.
Sorry Flylady.

x

alfsmum

Monnagran hope you and the Rev have a safe trip with your lady
MrsLW welcome back, glad you enjoyed the course, hope your DD is better soon
Cornishchick well done on your day at work and all the best for next time
Shegar I know the situation is somewhat different, but my Mum finally went into residential care last week and the relief is already tangible. I still have to sort out the sale of her house to fund her care and will have months of paperwork, but just knowing that I won't have to cope with another emergency at the drop of a hat is very reassuring. I can now drop in and see Mum, sit and relax with her, have a chat (though her dementia means she doesn't respond much) rather than visiting her at home and having to rush round sorting things out rather than spending time with her. With the winter coming I know that she is safe and warm and will be looked after whatever the weather. If I am too tired or poorly to visit, it doesn't matter any more as it's not the matter of life or death it was. It was a very hard decision and I had to make it on her behalf, knowing that she would have hated to leave her cottage if she could grasp what was happening, but in the end I have accepted that it is in everyone's best interests. You can't help feeling guilty, but you are considering your future to make it as good as it can be for both of you. I am sure my DH and DDs will also feel the benefit of me not being so stressed out all the time, it wasn't fair on them to carry on as we were.

Oh well, must venture out to work but at least it looks as if it's brightening up here. Feeling impressed that we have got to 5th November without putting the heating on. Long may it continue

Have a good day everyone.

shegar

kezlou wrote: »

wow wondercollie sounds amazing
We can't wait for the snow to start falling.

Sheila please don't feel guilty, as an adult he should be entitled to more than 12 weeks a year. It just doesn't sound right to me.
Speak to your gp and your local carers office and see if they is any extra funding which you can access.

Regarding care, my friends husband is going through the same thing.
He's felt incredibly guilty. But three months later, and both of they lives have dramatically improved. He's able to take her out everyday whilst having the time to himself and be to sleep. His wife comes home once a month to spend with each other. so they still have time together in the same home, if that makes sense.


She is 61 yrs and he is 59 yrs, so still young. Before she went into the home, they were both very stressed and he was exhausted and constantly ill. Now his health has improved and in his words they marriage is even stringer and he loves her more than ever.

It is a really hard decision to make, lots of hugs x


I hope i haven't over stepped the mark and if i have i do apologise.

KEZLOW no way have you over stepped the mark at all, I appreciate all the helpful , supportive posts which are coming in from the other posters who have also replied to my post...................

I know that one day I will have to make the decision that he will probaly have to go into full time care , BUT, when I try to talk to him about it he ends up in floods of tears , and I feel as though im pushing him, its a terrible situation to be in , I think it take a very long time to get him to see the reasons...................

He knows I get ill very often and very quickly, I dont seem to get much warning when im going downhill, it seems to just get me, and I cant look after him..........
Thats probaly because im very low to start with, and being diabetic for 37 years it is now taking its toll on my health .............................

Also ive got a hospital appoinment for my water work probs, and also finally got an appoinment for ENT cos ive had sinus problems for 5 years since I gave up smoking , so its wearing me down a bit...........................

Hubby got in the door at 5 pm last night , and I cooked shepherds pie and veg ( shop bought) whoops he sat down , then accidently the whole plate and food when on the floor, up his legs, shoes , floor, oh dear me not a good start for us both again...................

I will have to keep trying to talk to him about permanent care again today , but its heart breaking , I just wish he wouldnt cry but the brain damage as affected him badly, it hurt me so much to see a man at 53 yrs old having to go into full time care ............................Thanks for all your support messages , and please dont be frightened to tell me what you I should do , because I am asking for advise, and I wont be hurt at your answers..............Thanks sheila

PRINCESSX87

Hi all.

Sorry to hear that many of you are having problems still. Life can be crappy at times, But try and stay strong!! Hugs to all that would like one. Plenty to spare. xx

Managed to get to the dentist with OH last night. It seems i'm not the only one who has been naughty and not taking care of my oral health. OH now needs to have 3 large teeth removed and a filling, Which all being well, Should be done tomorrow. The removal will be slightly longer though.

I have been passed to the dental hospital because of the fear, However no one has explained to me whether I will be awake for the "op" as they call it. Not sure I will cope well with that. Its the fact I can see / hear what's coming that makes my nerves shoot through the roof!!

Counselling tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to it. :rotfl:The last few weeks I've been annoying you all- with my fear of attending but, She made me feel so normal at my first appointment!! I can see a very dim light at the end of tunnel.

I was given homework last week: Pro's & cons of doing this counselling.....So far....I have one con!!:T

Right off for a cuppa.....Take care all x