The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

PRINCESSX87

Morning all.

Thank you for the support yesterday. It was tough having to open up and tbh to a total stranger - But alas, I made the first step of being brought out of my comfort zone. I'm sure there is plenty more times this is going to happen.

I would like to consider myself as the homemaker in our relationship. I feel its my duty to support my OH in everything within our home life. After all he goes out to keep a roof over our heads and food in our tummies. I think its easier for us as we don't have children. But I consider myself very old fashioned and when / if the chance of babies come along I would want to stay at home anyways. Yes, Money is tight & it would be easier if I was to work but right now we're making the best we can on little funds.

I was watching BBC news at silly o'clock this morning and I was shocked that people are earning less but spending more because banks are giving out more credit then ever before. There was a time before joining the forum that I would have been one of these people - But now, I really find it annoying & shocking that people are still not prepared to learn to change. More than that i'm angry that the banks still allow people to get into this mess.

Cheapskate

fuddle, I agree with you totally, and sometimes they drown out the people who are very quietly asking for a tiny bit of help, often at the end of their tether!

Not sure whose blog people are referring to (have suspicions though!), but I've seen similar comments all over the place. I've worked on the front line in schools, uni, doctors etc, and the same attitude is there - you are to blame for their lack of punctuality, services not available every minute God sends, etc! :mad:

Mar, I was a teen bride and mum, too, and agree with your comments, two children by 20, hubby on very carp wage, etc., but we did ok. The division of labour ebbs and flows, always has done; sometimes I moan at him for not helping, sometimes he moans that I haven't done a certain job, but never in anger, and after over 27 years of marriage we still rub along quite well! :rotfl:

A xo

cutestkids

wondercollie wrote: »

I've been reading blogs by one of the frequent posters here. I am horrified to see that they feel that government officials who are doing the job they are paid to do being called "goons" by someone who lives on benefits.

Couldn't agree more although I think you must have read the toned down version as when originally put it it was much more derogatory towards the the people you mention,

mardatha

Am quite glad I don't read blogs lol - but sometimes I read stuff on FB that I really agree with, re the govt and DWP etc, and then as I read on I find the misplaced venon puts me off. I wish they could see that this ruins their argument.
Right now I sort of feel partly sorry for people who work in job centres, because they might be nice enough people - but are stuck in a horrible unfair system. I personally would walk away because I couldn't look at myself in the mirror if I did what they're doing - but maybe some are trapped with debt and bills etc.
Things going on today seem horribly similar to how the nazis operated. Not to the extent of killing or gassing people obviously. But divide and rule , swoop on one group and the rest heave a sigh of relief and step hastily aside. Then corner another group and so on. And always people who are helpless to do anything about it.
But the fault is ours, because there are more of us than there are of them...and yet we let it happen.

Mrs_Chip

Is it really necessary to bully posters by oblique references to them?

Please stop and consider how you would feel if someone started making reference to you in this cowardly way. Whatever you think about what others write, there is no need to be nasty.

It is frankly shameful.

FairyPrincessk

Morning all,

Been very busy here and feeling like I can't quite keep up with it all. It is reading week for the students so no teaching, means two extra work days for me but that won't quite cover the marking so I think I've ended up even shorter of time:D

Otherwise, things are going well. We went to the second hand appliance shop for a microwave as its porridge season and heating soup up for lunch season. Not only will it save time, but it will use less energy in the long run. I don't tend to use them much for cooking and always said I wouldn't want one taking up the space, but must admit that it can be economical for leftovers etc.

Now that we know our exact pay after deductions tax etc. we've done our budget up until christmas and managing to put a fair amount away for savings. Things may be leaner next year if one of us can't find work as we'll both be looking in spring. We've opted to keep living essentially the same lifestyle now that one of us is working that we lived as students but with one treat a month thrown in for now.

On the subject OHs, I'm still on the starting out part of this conversation and I must admit its probably the hardest part to get right--figuring out the work distribution. It is nice to hear that it works out for some, and very sad to hear about when it goes wrong. We both work. At the moment my work is more flexible so I tend to do more at home, sometimes to the detriment of my work. I do try to push him to take on more things sometimes, particularly when I'm falling behind in work because I'm doing EVERYTHING at home as sometimes happens. The way I see it, if he comes home from work and has an hour of leisure in the evening but I finish work (work from home) and don't sit down at all and am anxious because I've not gotten any work done that day, that is a problem. He is pretty good about stepping up, but it is an ebb and flow, and it is one that I think is likely to change over and over again as our work/home situations continue to change. Eventually my work will probably be less flexible and his will be a bit easier. It doesn't help that one of us is far more prepared in life for these things--everything from cooking to basic home repairs. He has learned to cook, but the power drill is still my job.:rotfl:

I don't know the blog referenced, but I agree with Mrs. Chip. If you have a problem with what someone has written, perhaps better to take it up with them via PM.

Hugs to any and all who need them.

elisamoose

I don't often post but do read everyday. I agree that some people forget that people working in front line public services are just that .....people,who do a job to pay the bills and put food on the table just like every one else.
I work in a school and some parents attitude to us is just shocking! And the lack of understanding that we implement government policy and can't just make exceptions willy nilly.

I don't read blogs written by people on here but if they link to them through their profile they surely have to expect them to be read by people on here and accept the comments made.As for whether they should be named.......well on here you are damned if you do , damned if you don't !

pondskater_2

Mrs_Chip wrote: »

Is it really necessary to bully posters by oblique references to them?

Please stop and consider how you would feel if someone started making reference to you in this cowardly way. Whatever you think about what others write, there is no need to be nasty.

It is frankly shameful.

I am a long time lurker and have enjoyed reading this thread for its support for all posters - I would like to shake your hand for this comment Mrs Chip.
If nobody minds I would like to hang around and maybe post sometimes but I can be a bit of an introvert so don't expect too much :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

Morning, wet and grey here today and noisy with rain on the roof and windows in the night too. He Who Knows and the Lurcha are out for a soggy walkies and the towels are down on the floors for thier return, probably covered in mud too!!!

I don't read blogs, I'm not into that kind of thing, I read here and feel for folks in thier difficulties and try to keep things buoyant when I can and am a great believer in 'If you can't say anything pleasant, then don't say anything at all!' in public at least where we all can take a guess who the venom is aimed at, but not reading blogs I'm thankful to say I'll never know, life really is too short. Then there is the other saying 'Those without sin can cast the first stone.....' which us very pertinent in most situations and perhaps should be considered more often by all of us?

I came from a very unhappy pre-easy divorce household, it couldn't under any set of circumstances have been called a home. It was war and we the children were my mothers ammunition against my poor old dad who only had to exist to be wrong, it would on the whole have been a relief to not have had to endure that for so long as we did. It was though an object lesson in how not to conduct a marriage and has been a massive influence on how I try to work within this marriage and not to expect anything as my right but to work things out to both our satisfactions and make peace between us if there are disagreements. Marriage is something that has to be worked at, something where two usually quite different personalities have to find common ground and comfort zones and it isn't ever easy. Nothing was ever achieved between two people who are in confrontation mode 24 hours a day, that is the way to angst and unhappiness. The best way I've ever found of sorting out problems is to talk, open minded talk not 'I'm right and you're wrong, end of discussion' but really talk and explain the problems to each other, who knows it might even work for those of you with unhappiness and crossness to deal with most days. It might make your lives smoother at the very least? Lyn x.

Hard_Up_Hester

Sorry I don't know what blog was being mentioned, I was on the receiving end of a rant that included a lot of swearing and spitting from a parent who seemed to hold me personally responsible for her son's lack of benefit eligibility, hence my comment.
But if you have a blog and put yourself out there, you do have to accept that people will have opinions about your postings.
Hester