The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

mcculloch29

I don't read blogs generally - life is short and I earn my living from the net - so went in search of the comment referred to earlier. There is no link to the blog on the profile of the person I believe was being referred to.
You may be aware of the link and blog from it being available previously, I was not made aware of it from here.

I enjoy this thread for the warm support given to all; I also fully agree that all have a right to challenge views they do not find acceptable that are voiced on here.

I am far more political on Twitter than I ever would be on here, I see that as a separate part of my persona; it's the 'domestic me' that gets an airing on MSE. 'Political me' uses Twitter.
If someone was to challenge me on here over a Twitter comment I wouldn't be comfortable with that; I'd feel stalked, frankly as there is no direct link to that side of me from here.

fuddle

If you write about your life online, your thoughts and stances in life you have to be prepared for others to disagree with you, to argue with you and to be quite horrid in return. I have had all that and a lot more 'anonymously' via PM and on my own blog. PM's with venom are more hurtful than open discussions because through a PM you have to take it alone, no one knows. It's a frightening experience that leaves you vulnerable and alone.

I wasn't prepared to take it so closed down my blog and learned to be a little more sensitive online. If you post with venom you have to be prepared to take it back.

FairyPrincessk

I certainly think one should be prepared to meet challenges to what one posts online--just as if one had said it to a group at a party. Indeed, I wholeheartedly disagree with the gist of what has been summarized from that blog and mostly agree with the critique raised. However, if someone made those comments at a party, I would either directly address them at the party, or pull them aside. I would not then go to another party and make veiled references to their comments and rile others up against them. That is unkind gossip, and something I would hate for this thread to do.

Mrs_Chip

Opinions and views are fine, we are all entitled to them.

But bullying is not fine, as Fuddle said, it leaves you feeling vulnerable and alone.

I am sure no one on here would want to be responsible for making someone else feel like that.

FairyPrincessk

Well put Mrs. Chip. The lines are so easily blurred and I don't think anyone on this thread would ever intentionally want to make it less welcoming and caring, but I understand how sometimes things get carried away in the heat of the moment. I don't want anyone to feel like they can't come here when they feel alone or vulnerable, but I also don't anyone to feel like my comments today are directed at them.

kidcat

For what its worth, I think that if someone makes a comment on this forum that you find objectionable then it should be dealt with here, however a blog post should be dealt with on the blog itself. Otherwise we will end up with crossover battles which many of us wont have seen the offending post.

I think its also prudent to remember that we can often be upset by something in real life and have a rant with our friends, usually saying things we dont truly mean, but at that time and moment its our anger and hurt speaking. For some people they may not have that luxury of real life friends to rant to and will use blogs etc as their outlet.

I would hate to think of some of my messages to friends actually being taken as my my true opinions on most things.

I have an incredibly busy day today and am off to Blackpool later to avoid Halloween so will probably not be around to post, please take care today, I know we have had huge amounts of anti social behaviour that the police are struggling with. And if you have vulnerable neighbours I know you are all going to check on them and watch for any terror trick or treaters

Have a good day folks.

mardatha

Not directly to do with what you're all talking about - but I can't stand bullying of any kind. And if I got a venomous PM fuddle I'd copy and paste it out in the open for everybody to see - and then send a blistering one back!
I got great news in a phone call this morning... got an invite to go on a ghost walk tonight to a castle (now hotel) where they are having "activity" of the spooky sort :eek::eek::D

savingqueen

Well said Mrs Chip. Yes of course we are all entitled to our opinions and to express them and disagree with others' views. I don't generally read blogs from MSE posters and have no wish to know who the poster is or what their blog said. I am making no presumptions at all.

If you have a blog, yes people can comment on that. However this is a supportive thread and whilst people can say what they want to on a public forum, personally I feel it goes against the spirit of the toughies thread to single people out for their personal views expressed outside of here.

We have been here before and not doubt we will be here again but lets get back to toughie business now. We are all different people with our good and bad points, let us not argue between us but support each other warts and all. I have relationships in real life where I do not agree with everything othes think and do and vice-versa - if the issues do not affect me/them personally in a big way, we just accept them and carry on. None of us are perfect but we can all contribute in positive ways on this thread.

warmest wishes to each and every one of you
sq

katieowl_2

Morning all. Today's pasties are done...now cooling. A flavour inspired by one of you here, I can't remember who it was I'm afraid But it's sweet potatoes, garlic, spinach and black eyed beans with a jerk seasoning. Done them a few times now they are very popular.

Another poster who said they wore arch supports in their wellies also needs a pat on the back for mentioning that, I dug a pair out, and that's made all the diff to walking the doggles

Vet decided Miss Mattie Moo needed more ear drops yesterday - I thought so too, so not being sold more stuff than necessary. Still cost £40 though. My bank card is hiding, quivering in a dark corner of my wallet now though in anticipation of his outing at the optician this afternoon.

I grew up in a war zone too Mrs LW. My mum was an unmarried mother in the late 1950's - which my grandmother used as a stick to beat my mum until she died - we lived with my grandparents. My gran never had a good word to say about my grand father, they shared nothing in life but the roof and being the parents of my mother. My Mum was an only child, and she mantains that her conception was the only time my GM ever had sex with my GF. They had separate beds, my gran had converted to a religious cult by the time my mum grew up, which my GF had no part of, they had no joint friends, or social life. He'd also managed to end up profoundly deaf, which was probably a great blessing to him.
There were not many arguments, but a tight lipped air of martyrdom surrounded my GM, who was a total control freak, and used to do stuff like snoop my mum's mail, and censor her reading material, it was her way or the highway. There were elephants in all the rooms that were never ever discussed.Mum and I moved out when I was about 13...

I undoubtedly learned some very toxic strategies for coping, dealing with issues, and have had it suggested to me by a counsellor that I look at some literature around co-dependency
I'm sticking my tongue out at that, because I can see where she was coming from but I don't think I'm 'that' bad.

My OH is not a 'bad' person, he doesn't have any vices just bad habits, he's just way too old before his time and quite comfortable with it, despite the fact that it hurts other people! If he was as toxic as my GM I doubt I'd have taken up with him in the first place.

Kate

Pooky

Mar - sounds like fun! Enjoy your evening.

Katie - those pasties sound yummy!

It's dark and dank here but supposed to be bright this afternoon, I've got the WM in overdrive so I can get some line driedif it does brighten up.

DDs and DH have just left for the cinema, they'll be eating out if DH is up to it so I have until 3.30pm before they're all home! Bliss. Crocheting, film watching and a bit of Christmas present making whilst they're out I think!