Am I being unresonable?

choir-girl

The loan will cost him £548 a month, he's already paying £345 fo the current vehicle so is his eyes it's only £200 a month!

Apparently you can't get golf clubs on the back seat they have to go in the boot. He stopped going to the chiropodist as it was too expensive, £35 every 6 weeks.

I know I should spend more on myself, but theres never much left at the end of the month, golf isn't cheap, and as he is high profile at his club so has to play in lot's of matches which all cost money!

LannieDuck

Wow. Totally with you.

In your shoes, I'd be telling him that if he went ahead with it over your objections, it had to be in his name only, and you'd be separating out all the rest of the finances as well. After all, if his earnings are his to do with as he likes, so your earnings are yours to with as you like.

Not sure how realistic it is when you're married, but maybe he if had to pay his share of the rent and utilities out of his £5k/yr, he might realise he couldn't afford car payments on top.

LannieDuck

choir-girl wrote: »

The loan will cost him £548 a month, he's already paying £345 fo the current vehicle so is his eyes it's only £200 a month!

Apparently you can't get golf clubs on the back seat they have to go in the boot. He stopped going to the chiropodist as it was too expensive, £35 every 6 weeks.

I know I should spend more on myself, but theres never much left at the end of the month, golf isn't cheap, and as he is high profile at his club so has to play in lot's of matches which all cost money!

This sounds like a very inequitable relationship. Perhaps you should calculate what's left over after all household expenses, and split it in half.

His half has to cover his golf/cars, and your half is yours to do with as you please.

(Edit: I realise this is a different suggestion to the one I made in the post directly above... it's easy to think up solutions to problems when it's someone else's money!)

maman

Bennifred wrote: »

So - HIS money, is it? :think: What happened to the vows he made when he married you?! He sounds totally selfish and unreasonable to me - and reckless to boot!

choir-girl wrote: »

In answer to the many quesions:

Our mortgage is paid off, but we dont have vast savings, certainly not enough to cover the cost of the vehicle. This year he had to pull out £4K to pay off his overdrafty as the reducded his borrowing facility.

What would we do with the money if not spent on the car, I have pointed out that we should be doing more things together and that at our age (58 & 64) our money should be for us to enjoy, meals out, weekends away etc.

He never gets asked for proof of income or bank statements when he applies for finance, he is a good friend the area manager of the garage he uses (theres a surprise)!

And no I don't think he ahs any idea hoe he would make the payments if he doesn't work, overdraft would be his answer.

My earning are £24K a year.

I'm not sure I'd walk away from the marriage unless this was just one of many issues. What I would try to do is explore with him how the 'it's my money' statement works. If he genuinely had the money to contribute his fair share to household expenses and he could buy the car from what's left then I'd agree with him. I may think he was an idiot to spend so much on a car but if it meant so much to him then fine. But he patently hasn't got the money to buy the car. Even if you split the savings with him and kept him for nothing he still probably couldn't afford it. Then what does he expect you to do, use your salary to buy him a car that you know you can't afford!! Dream on!! I think you need a big budget talk with him. Maybe start separating your finances so he knows what he can afford and what you're prepared to contribute to. I hate the idea that you could be settled with huge debt through no fault of your own. I'm not sure how this would work if you eventually split up but I'm sure others will be along to tell you.;)

maman

Lots of cross posting but all in the same vein.:)

It really sounds like you're working to serve his lifestyle which he can't afford. Time to call a halt!!

tayforth

£345 a month is bad enough!!!!!!! :eek:

£548 a month is a bl00dy fortune.

And he won't spend £35 every 6 weeks on his feet? His health?

He's got his priorities all wrong.

No wonder there's not much money left each month - he seems to be benefiting from all the spare cash! Your mortgage is paid off, so you should be able to enjoy yourselves - together. Sounds as if you've spent long enough subsiding his expensive hobbies. I'd be suggesting that you both share the bills equally, or proportionally according to your incomes, and the rest is yours to do with as you wish. See what he says to that.

Gingernutty

£35 every six weeks. That's 8-9 visits a year.

£35 x 9 = £315 per year.

And he wants to pay £548 per month on a depreciating asset?

People go on the seats and stuff goes in the boot. Golf clubs are not people therefore they are stuff. They can go in the berluddy boot.

Sorry, I'm speechless.

tea_lover

choir-girl wrote: »

The loan will cost him £548 a month, he's already paying £345 fo the current vehicle so is his eyes it's only £200 a month!

We had exactly this conversation a couple of years ago when OH wanted to change cars (from one he couldn't afford, to one he really couldn't afford). It was even similar figures.

Fortunately he had a lightbulb moment not long after, sold the car and spent the next year paying off his debts. Not much help to you I realise but I really can sympathise with how frustrating it is.

axxxl

Two and a half year old car and he wants rid of it?! :eek: Both my boyfriend's and my dad's cars are 11 years old and they're still in working condition!

It's definitely an unreasonable decision for him to want to make. I can't imagine I'd ever spend that much on a car (I don't even get 24k in 2 years and I work full time :eek:). The reason he has given for wanting a new car is absolutely ridiculous, IMO.

vanessav

If your OH had 'several nice cars' in 10 years and his current car is 2.5years old, then he has a car obsession and won't keep this car! He may believe that this latest love is 'the one' - but it won't be. Then he will spend lots more money you can't afford changing it. You could try appealing to his need for variety and point out that he will lose far less money on depreciation with a good used car and will be able to satisfy his future need for change etc. He may get frustrated with an automatic, especially if he gets his foot sorted. I cannot conceive of anyone spending £24k - unless they are completely awash with money. Even then....