Daydream thread... without the rose-tinted specs

rhiwfield

alfie_1 wrote: »

my SPANNER comes on when its due a service...;)

All these high tech gadgets! Our Mitsubishi Colts just about have a dashboard :rotfl::rotfl:

DW up in Manchester to see her mother with dementia and MIL is nasty with it . DW in tears on the phone :mad:. Dementia bringing MIL's really unpleasant traits to the surface . MIL was placed in respite recently after social workers finally realised how out of touch with reality and vulnerable she was despite years of warnings from neighbours and family, and she blames DW for it all. MIL wanted to stay in her own home (or get her 95 year old sister to look after her as well as tending to her very ill husband!!!) but she was getting noticeably worse and worse despite a full care package. Pls never let me get to that state!!

alfie_1

i must admit my darling pops has never once complained or moaned . he has accepted his situation remarkably well. id like to say im proud of him but his situation is enforced so not apt. but i am proud of him.

ukmaggie45

rhiwfield wrote: »

DW up in Manchester to see her mother with dementia and MIL is nasty with it . DW in tears on the phone :mad:. Dementia bringing MIL's really unpleasant traits to the surface . MIL was placed in respite recently after social workers finally realised how out of touch with reality and vulnerable she was despite years of warnings from neighbours and family, and she blames DW for it all. MIL wanted to stay in her own home (or get her 95 year old sister to look after her as well as tending to her very ill husband!!!) but she was getting noticeably worse and worse despite a full care package. Pls never let me get to that state!!

Oh Rhiwy I so feel for your DW! My Mum was nasty with dementia, she accused our DDs of all sorts and was horrid to them, to the extend that neither would visit unless they had company. DD2 who is such a lovely person and so kind and gentle was so upset by one visit she damn near crashed the car on the way back home. :eek: Please make sure your DW is aware that sometimes she may have to take time out before driving! Please please be careful driving after contact with a dementia patient - our experiences with my Mum were that she did our heads in so much we needed to take time out before driving any distance... But we had to get away from nursing home fast! :eek:

rhiwfield

Maggie, DW booked into hotel instead of MIL's home to chill out. Daft thing is that MIL's elder sister is still sharp and alert and able to help look after her hubby and DW enjoyed a coffee and chat with her this afternoon.

I will pass on your message as DW will be facing a 4 hour drive after seeing MIl and the social workers tomorrow. I'd much rather she took her time and got back safely.

Alf, sounds like your dad deserves your admiration .

And on the fruit front pears now ready for eating, though its a fight with the wasps for the ripe apples :rotfl::rotfl:

Davesnave

alfie_1 wrote: »

my SPANNER comes on when its due a service...;)

Yes, well, mine has a word for that: 'InSP' ...and that's come up too, which is right because it's just over a year since it had one. I was going to ignore that till November.

But I also have a car & spanner sign intermittently,which is in the handbook as a sign for an engine electronics problem on petrol models, but mine's a diesel. I think the handbook is misprinted.

I agree with rhiwie, all these things are too complicated.

I am not going there with dementia....sorry!:o:o:o

alfie_1

oh no !! i didnt mean to sound smug !! i feel terrible now,

choille

Rhiw - tell DW that she has my commiserations - I know what you are going through. My Mum passed away nearly a year ago after years of suffering from dementia. You grieve before they die. It's a dreadful disease.

RAS

Agree with maggie and choille.

After nearly having two crashes in consecutive years driving home from delivering the parent "home" I decided that I could do the journey one way but not both; either DS picked her up and I returned her or vice versa.

When things got worse and I was on the regular trips, I used to drive from the house to the service station about a mile away and have some time out before I faced the motorway. Even so I recall putting the music on loud and singing along to prevent myself collapsing in tears and being unable to complete the journey.

It was only when she started making very serious allegations against the staff that the hospital realised just how bad she was.

As choille says I grieved long before she actually went into a home. And then again.

choille

RAS - I'm going to PM you if that's okay.

Davesnave

RAS wrote: »

After nearly having two crashes in consecutive years driving home from delivering the parent "home" I decided that I could do the journey one way but not both; either DS picked her up and I returned her or vice versa.

My crash came while I was still trying to balance working and caring by being in two places at once.

I was lucky. Not a scratch and I hated the car, but it could all have been very different.

Woke me up to face what I had to do.