holiday vouchers whilst on dla/dca

notanewuser

Oh, now I'm the world's worst mother as well because I'm not constantly forcing myself into DD's play, am I? :rolleyes:

Toto

**Patty** wrote: »

I too spent years & years of hard work to earn relevant qualifications to enable me to have a good career.

However, that was soon ripped to shreds when my middle son was born.

I expected to return to work, full-time, and for my life to continue in it's upward journey.

Instead of making lemonade with my lemons, i got dropped into a damn big vat of citric acid.

There is NO childcare for severely disabled children.
Without an income, the house went too.

If applying to a charity towards the cost of a holiday makes me a !!!!!!!!!!, then tough.....quite frankly. It takes roughly 18 months to even plan a holiday with research worthy of the FBI.

Designer-perfume wearing, Cath Kidston carrying Mum of 3.:D

Sadly I know exactly what you mean by this I completely empathise and understand

My daughter has severe autism / fragile X she is utterly exhausting. No one can comprehend how a child with special needs changes life to the point that I have no idea what normal is. This very morning my child spent yet another morning in A&E because she'd had such a massive meltdown she hit a wall so hard she fractured a bone in her arm. Imagine being on the receiving end of that... I don't need to imagine it because I often am.


No one here really knows what is going on at home for the OP. No one has the right to pass judgement.

Pollycat

Toto wrote: »

No one here really knows what is going on at home for the OP. No one has the right to pass judgement.

Amen to that.

Reading the posts from Toto and **Patty** have made me think even more that anyone who has a disabled child deserves to have a holiday and if the way to do that is through applying to the FamilyFund, then so be it.

Anyone who has a normal, healthy child and thinks otherwise should be ashamed of themselves.

notanewuser

Pollycat wrote: »

Amen to that.

Reading the posts from Toto and **Patty** have made me think even more that anyone who has a disabled child deserves to have a holiday and if the way to do that is through applying to the FamilyFund, then so be it.

Anyone who has a normal, healthy child and thinks otherwise should be ashamed of themselves.

You make it sound like some kind of consolation prize!!

Pollycat

notanewuser wrote: »

You make it sound like some kind of consolation prize!!

If I do, then I apologise unreservedly to Toto & **Patty** for that.

But I believe you have misread or misunderstood my post, although I don't care one bit whether you have or haven't.

My point was that anyone who begrudges someone a holiday must be deeply uncharitable, bitter and jealous.

ETA
Toto, I hope your daughter is OK, it must have been awful for you both.

Tiddlywinks

Pollycat wrote: »

My point was that anyone who begrudges someone a holiday must be deeply uncharitable, bitter and jealous.

I begrudge someone asking a charity to pay for their holiday when they could manage to pay for it themselves. Charities have limited resources and it upsets me to hear of opportunists grasping for every penny just because they can (rather than should or need to).

Don't turn my comments into something they are not - my comments are only related to this OP and NOT to everyone parenting a disabled child... all circumstances will be different.

Also, don't make assumptions about my level of knowledge on this subject... I simply choose not to share most of my life with strangers.

You seem to be treating this as a point scoring exercise... Grow up!

notanewuser

Pollycat wrote: »

If I do, then I apologise unreservedly to Toto & **Patty** for that.

But I believe you have misread or misunderstood my post, although I don't care one bit whether you have or haven't.

My point was that anyone who begrudges someone a holiday must be deeply uncharitable, bitter and jealous.

.

I don't begrudge anybody a holiday, but it would be nice if people realised how lucky they are to live in a country that offers so much support. Try being severely disabled in Southern Africa, where there is no welfare, only basic healthcare, no free education, unreliable electricity and telecoms and everybody is expected to fund themselves or pop off this mortal coil quietly. I have family in this situation.

The OP *could* have cleared the debts they have, but chose to spend the money on a bedroom for her child. Then, instead of saving for a holiday or days out for her children she instead buys premium beauty products and pays no doubt large levels of interest on those debts. Instead of downsizing to release equity and sort themselves out, she looks for ways to get more money from elsewhere, namely taxpayers. Now these are all her choices to make, but wanting more and more for less and less input because she has a moderately disabled child is galling and frankly a massive slap in the face for the rest of us.

Pollycat

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I begrudge someone asking a charity to pay for their holiday when they could manage to pay for it themselves. Charities have limited resources and it upsets me to hear of opportunists grasping for every penny just because they can (rather than should or need to).

That's fine.
But it's actually up to The FamilyFund whether they decide that the OP has a case worthy of their limited resource, not you.

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Don't turn my comments into something they are not - my comments are only related to this OP and NOT to everyone parenting a disabled child... all circumstances will be different.

I've not turned your comments into anything.

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Also, don't make assumptions about my level of knowledge on this subject... I simply choose not to share most of my life with strangers.

I'm not making any assumptions about your level of knowledge, I just read your posts and reply based on what you have written.

I'd prefer you not to share most of your life with me - but Thanks anyway.

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

You seem to be treating this as a point scoring exercise... Grow up!

You are totally entitled to believe that I'm treating this as a point-scoring exercise but - to quote you - "Don't turn my comments into something they are not."

Pollycat

notanewuser wrote: »

I don't begrudge anybody a holiday, but it would be nice if people realised how lucky they are to live in a country that offers so much support. Try being severely disabled in Southern Africa, where there is no welfare, only basic healthcare, no free education, unreliable electricity and telecoms and everybody is expected to fund themselves or pop off this mortal coil quietly. I have family in this situation.

Maybe the OP does realise how lucky she is to live here.

And this isn't Southern Africa so how is that relevant?

notanewuser wrote: »

The OP *could* have cleared the debts they have, but chose to spend the money on a bedroom for her child. Then, instead of saving for a holiday or days out for her children she instead buys premium beauty products and pays no doubt large levels of interest on those debts. Instead of downsizing to release equity and sort themselves out, she looks for ways to get more money from elsewhere, namely taxpayers. Now these are all her choices to make, but wanting more and more for less and less input because she has a moderately disabled child is galling and frankly a massive slap in the face for the rest of us.

I don't feel it's a 'massive slap in the face'.
I've worked full time for over 33 years and have paid lots of tax (just as you say you have).
As an early retireee, I still pay tax on my occupational pension.
I've never claimed any benefit, even my odd days off sick were paid by my employer.

I'm not getting all hot under the collar at the sheer impudence of the OP wanting a holiday on 'my money'.

I said this in my earlier post - if the FamilyFund feel the OP is deserving of a grant, then she will get it. If they don't, she won't.

shegirl

Wow!

I've used the family fund before and they can be a great help to those who need it.

However,I wish there was some way they could tighten things up so it is more need based.Anyone can want something then write whatever.

I also know of a family who will pay to go on holiday one or two times a year,along with having weekends away,yet then go and claim towards a Butlins holiday from the family fund every year and post pics of themselves getting wrecked with friends they've taken with them.

That kind of thing is wrong!

These things are meant to benefit the disabled child and,despite some disagreeing,a holiday can have huge benefits that are not accessible elsewhere for the child (and carer) which is why they permit them-these are not things the average child would necessarily need benefit from,but I would never post the benefits as I know some just blag to take what they can get.That is something I do not agree with.

Have to say I'm confused why the op posted to ask given her knowledge of FF!