Son been naughty at his Dads house

dundeedoll_2

princesstippytoes wrote: »

Did you not leave two toddlers unattended in a kitchen of all places and even provided photographs of the damage as if you thought it was funny.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/61467383#Comment_61467383

People in glass houses shoudnt throw stones.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wO8toxinoc

duchy

Yes cereal packets can cause serious damage ....Lethal weapons they are !

I can't quite see how anyone equates cereal packets with a screwdriver in terms of risk to children....

My ex was an only child and used to react in a similar manner to "kid" behaviour- He'd complain our six year old "wasn't sensible" DOH

itch_for_a_glitch

princesstippytoes wrote: »

Did you not leave two toddlers unattended in a kitchen of all places and even provided photographs of the damage as if you thought it was funny.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/61467383#Comment_61467383

People in glass houses shoudnt throw stones.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

lazer

hubbabubba71 wrote: »

Tell Dad that if he only has son for a 2 hour window he shouldn't be spending some of that precious time in the shower.

minimoneysaver wrote: »

I agree with the above two posters. Questions need to be asked. Shocking that he left the six year old unattended & used his precious two hours with his son for his personal care. Not quite the doting dad.

pigpen wrote: »

Aaaahh....

What the hell was he doing leaving a 5 year old unattended with a screwdriver in reach??? .. nearly 6 is not 6!!(not that it makes much difference)

Is he a moron???

Why did he need a shower when he was only seeing his son for 2 hours? Surely something as unimportant as a shower could wait until oooohhh.. 7:30 when DS is back with you??

Is it possible this is the way he treats/speaks to his son regularly?

This could be the reason for his inability to sleep properly.. If his thoughts are focused on his dads yelling and threatening and 'do as I say or I won't see you any more' ... what is that going to do to the mental state of a 5 year old child???

I think you need to sort out what is going on between father and son and look at the broader picture rather than this issue and the other issue.. it may well all be one in the same!

Oooh and at not much younger I stabbed a pencil into my grandmothers newly reupholstered armchair.... boy did I get what for!!!

Seriously people - the dad maybe works in a dirty job and picks the son up directly on his way home from work.

He could be working with asbestos, chemicals or who knows what - therefore it is a good thing he has a shower before settling down to spend time with his son.

I can't believe some of the things people judge non resident dads for on this forum.

As for punishment - the son does need to know what he did was unacceptable, but how is it possible over the phone, perhaps a joint approach to parenting - if son does somehting at either parents house he can get punished by either parent and any grouding etc applies regardless of who he is with

princesstippytoes

viscachaz wrote: »

Having asked someone else to watch them and them having nothing more than cereal boxes is a little different to leaving them in reach of a potentially sharp screwdriver while you, the only supervisor in the house, goes for a shower..

So you think leaving two very small toddlers alone in a kitchen unsupervised is safe do you. In one of the photgraphs we see drawers at the toddlers eye level what if they had opened them to find cutlery or other sharp implements. Toddlers climb and things like kettles and toasters spring to mind. A kitchen is not the place to leave two small children alone.

pinkshoes

Firstly, if you get just 2 hours with your child a week, then spending that time in the shower is rather odd!!

Secondly, what on earth do you expect if you leave fun things like screwdrivers lying around.

I do think you could have handled it better though...

I would have said that he does not like speaking on the phone, but you would have a word with him about why he did it, then phone him back.

FBaby

Well I guess I'm the only one with the dad on this one. At 6, you should be able to leave a child for 5 minutes whilst taking a shower without property being vandalized during that time. As for why dad was taking a shower? Maybe because he was back from his job having sweated and smelling unpleasantly, or maybe because he was due to go out after dropping his child off.

Things like this happen, it's not the end of the world, but I agree that the child should be disciplined about it. If I'd been my boy, I would have made him speak to his dad on the phone to explain himself and apologise, just like I would have done if he had damaged property at his school.

Frankly I am quite gobsmacked by posters reactions here that seem to excuse the action of this child and make the father to be a demon for leaving his son alone for 5 minutes. The child is 6, not 2!

valk_scot

I remember an incident when I (and a group of other mothers) took our eyes off our kids for...oh, fifteen minutes tops? We were sitting in the dining room having a cuppa, our assortment of two and four year olds were rampaging round the house. Our house is mostly all on one level and I was a fanatic about child proofing the house, I had gates across the kitchen door (we were guarding it anyway) and stairs, the bathroom and study doors were hooked shut, our bedroom door was locked etc. Really, the only places they could go were the two boys' bedrooms, the lounge which we could see, the hall and the dining room. They were within earshot the whole time and we were a pretty experienced group of mums.

Soooooo....in under fifteen minutes this mini bunch of bandits took almost the entire contents of DS1's room and put them in DS2's room. Clothes, boxes of toys, books, the duvet, pillows...we only caught them as they were trying to drag the mattress round the corner of the bedroom door. Never underestimate the power of small children to cause unexpected chaos in total silence! In fact the silence is what you have to watch out for, if they're arguing or screaming or bopping each other over the head you've got a pretty good idea as to what they're doing, after all.

There was also the incident with a full bottle of Colour Change Mr Matey, the toilet and the new bathroom carpet. Which was cream initially, yes....

I can quite easily understand the cereal tbh. It just surprises me they hadn't found the jam and honey jars as well.

duchy

Perhaps a conversation on the lines of Daddy was a bit upset ....that you touched his tools, .....and discussion about damaging things and self -because tools aren't for five year olds.

All a little late now -but still worth doing.

As for Dad in the shower-It does sound really odd during a two hour visit..... if he was going out later-perhaps he could have delayed his arrangements for ten minutes after the child had left ...... The safety aspect definitely needs addressing even if there ARE different rules at Dad's house to home (which is pretty common ).

viscachaz

princesstippytoes wrote: »

So you think leaving two very small toddlers alone in a kitchen unsupervised is safe do you. In one of the photgraphs we see drawers at the toddlers eye level what if they had opened them to find cutlery or other sharp implements. Toddlers climb and things like kettles and toasters spring to mind. A kitchen is not the place to leave two small children alone.

Sorry, my xray vision doesn't function as well as yours, I was unable to see all this sharp cutlery that you were able to see in the closed and non-transparent drawers in the picture.

He does need to set clearer rules for the son, and ensure anything he doesn't want touched is out of reach!