Men not helping at get togethers...

January20

j.e.j. wrote: »

I love that way of thinking. Does it apply to speech too? I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what the other person understands.

Yep
(But I'm always careful what I say - some people don't listen properly - some are intent on getting offended! I don't believe in this blame culture with live in nowadays so I'll take responsibility for what I write/ say and be careful with my words, but the other person has to take some responsibility too)

However, I can't work out whether you were being sarcastic?


Newly retired, why are you proud of your son? because he is a man and can look after his parent? Would you be as proud if it was your daughter? There is always this underlying feeling that a man who can cook a meal and clean up is absolutely fantastic. Why is it not fantastic when it's a woman who does it?

And really, you should be proud of yourself because you taught him well? Don't you think so?

tonycottee

gt568 wrote: »

There, there sugartits....get yourself back in the kitchen and make me a brew. Chop, chop....

I have to ask what the op is doing out of the kitchen in the 1st place?

FatVonD

tonycottee wrote: »

I have to ask what the op is doing out of the kitchen in the 1st place?

Multitasking, clearly

j.e.j.

January20 wrote: »

However, I can't work out whether you were being sarcastic?

No I wasn't being sarky

I think this constant needing to tread on eggshells and treat others with kid-gloves can make conversation feel stilted or lacking in sponteneity. Or maybe I just have a tendency to put my foot in it :rotfl:

jackomdj

Link to the BBQ rules

http://www.yourlifechoices.com.au/news/bbq-rules

meritaten

My OH for all his faults often offers to help but gets 'shooed' away! mainly because everyone knows he is a disaster waiting to happen!
eg - he helped me clear up after my sons 21st and I asked him to take the rubbish out to the big bins - quite reasonably assuming he would know the black bags by the kitchen bins were the rubbish...........unfortunately he took the boxes and shopping bags by the fridge - which contained my dishes, unused disposable plates and cutlery and a quantity of leftover food. I was furious with him!

neverdespairgirl

I don't experience that at family gatherings myself, no.

My parents have a division of labour - they do different things, but both do stuff. My mother does the cooking (she's an absolutely brilliant cook) and the rest of us do the donkey work, like peeling vegetables and washing up. My Dad hoovers before visitors arrive, lugs logs in, hat kind of thing.

People staying at large family gatherings - uncles, aunt, my parents' 4 children, my BIL, my OH, etc, all pitch in to help if staying a few days, with no obvious division between the sexes. When we stay there, we often cook a meal or two, and either OH or I do it, depending on what else we're doing.

At our own home, I do more cooking, and I do most of the clothes washing. OH changes beds, and irons. We both do about the same amount, but tend to do different things.

When we drive somewhere, OH usually drives. That's because he prefers driving to being a passenger, and I don't care either way.

PenguinOfDeath

Reminds me of a BBQ I was at a few years ago, the girl hosting was lodging at a familys house and invited a few of us round while they were away for the weekend.
Fairly casual affair, but I found myself getting slated by the other females as I wasnt helping them tidy up (i.e. I was chatting to the guys outside, they were chatting indoors and ended up clearing up), none of the blokes got villified for doing nothing, charming!

thistledome

One poster thinks that Women are to blame for men being lazy and selfish (the mother and the wife!) and another poster thinks Women who don't work outside the home aren't using their brains. Charming.

So the general consensus is that a Woman is to blame for Men being lazy pigs? Don't Men have any freewill then? Do they just blindly follow what Women teach them to do?

Gosh, if only I'd realised sooner that I had the power to control Men's minds.

bossymoo

We generally have a house full at Christmas. Me, mum and MIL split the food shopping list between us and the men are in charge of supplying alcohol. Us ladies generally organise prep and cooking of food, gents will be sent in the direction of spare chairs, screwdrivers for the inevitable toy that needs something doing to it, pulling table out to full size etc. Last year step dad was in charge of kids bikes pumping tyres and making sure seats were at right height.

I like to set the table myself so its pretty!

Any other visits, most regular visitors are happy to put the kettle on, and return mug to kitchen later, male or female. We all have to muck in, here...