Men not helping at get togethers...

carolan78

I've not read all the comments but in my family it is always my Dad that does 90% of everything with me offering help and having it refused lol

My Mum chips in with the cleaning up but she panics in the kitchen so she is better off kept away from it.

balletshoes

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Yeah, it's always one of the men who wants to cook on the BBQ because it's fun.

But who did the shopping, who prepared all the salads/got the bread out/put everything on the table/goes round with a bin bag to collect the rubbish blah blah blah. That's the main part of the work, not turning a sausage over now and then.

its maybe because my husband is a chef, but when we have people at our house for a BBQ or a meal of any description, he does all the food shopping, all the food prep, and all the cooking. My daughter and any other kids in the vicinity do the carrying out to the table etc then going round with the binbag later clearing up leftovers and paper plates etc, and I'm kitchen hand :rotfl:.

Same with Christmas dinner at my mum's every year - BILs and my husband bring in the tables and set up the chairs etc, kids get roped into helping set the table, one BIL has been there early morning stuffing the turkey, another one is in charge of making the prawn cocktail starter, my brother is often in charge of making the soup, any/all the men typically bring the wine/beer, Mum has usually prepped everything else, then us women dish up when its all ready. Whoever is in the kitchen when the dirty dishes need doing, starts the washing up.

lostinrates

Treevo wrote: »

The men. They do everything in this house.

Is that because you are a couple?

Here both of us do stuff. My dh does more running about type stuff because I cannot.

We make a good team. . Our skills compliment each other and we enjoy each others company so we don't want to spend much of his time at home apart.

NAR

miss_independent wrote: »

Embarrassingly, I'm a bit of a Stepford Wife.

Ah my kinda gal!

Treevo

lostinrates wrote: »

Is that because you are a couple?

Here both of us do stuff. My dh does more running about type stuff because I cannot.

We make a good team. . Our skills compliment each other and we enjoy each others company so we don't want to spend much of his time at home apart.

Nope. It's because there are only two females in the house. A kid and a cat. Neither are very good at cleaning or cooking.

miss_independent

NAR wrote: »

Ah my kinda gal!

Of Course I am:happyhear!

Now pick up your feet so I can hoover under them

lostinrates

Treevo wrote: »

Nope. It's because there are only two females in the house. A kid and a cat. Neither are very good at cleaning or cooking.

Ah, here we have lots of girls, most of the dogs and all of the cats are girls. Our horses were girls too. The terrier and dh are quite like each other, and both boys, both very busy all day long

The 'foreman' in our house is a Siamese cat, she tells us all what to do from first thing in the morning not last thing at night, with a bit of hunting squeezed in to her tea breaks, She's a hard worker and would reject she is not good and cooking or cleaning. We just smile and nod, its easier than trying to reason with her

January20

j.e.j. wrote: »

what would the reaction on here be if a man made that remark about women.. :think:

Very good question! And actually, I wouldn't be offended because this is a comparison I would use for men, women and children alike. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. You have to show them/ teach them/ tell them/ whatever/ how you want them to treat you/ how to behave with you. Just like you would teach/ train a dog. Nothing offensive about using this analogy.

As they say: I'm only responsible for what I write not for what the reader understands.

Too many people are too quick to getting offended nowadays!
(I'm not saying you j.e.j - I agree with your post!)

Takeaway_Addict

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Thoughts prompted by thread about home wedding reception and a suggestion that mums/sisters could help get everything ready, only for someone else to ask 'and why not the men?'

Family gettogethers/friends gettogethers/other social events. the women run around doing the food and making rounds of tea, and clearing up. and the men sit there doing nowt and being waited on. I've never really understood it.

Happens less than it used to, I've found. It tends to be generally the older generation now, which ok I partially understand as it's the traditional way to do things, but I've been in situations with younger people too where it still happens this way. It always annoyed me when I was younger and I used to go and sit down with the men, thinking if they weren't doing anything why should I, but I grew out of that and realised that just because they were lazy/selfish (as I see it) it's no excuse to do the same.

But why does it still happen a fair bit now? It still gets on my nerves, I think it's rude. I think the men are lazy sitting on their !!!!!! not lifting a finger.

In my own family there are some men who muck in and do their share without being asked, just do it naturally, and other men who'll sit and do nothing every single time.

What do you think about this? Does anyone else get as irritated by it as I do? Or do you not encounter it any more?

If this is how it runs in your house, would you mind explaining to me why? It's not a criticism, your house your rules and all that, but why? If you are a man who sits there while the women work, why? If you are a woman, and you don't mind it/expect it, why? If you don't like it, what do you do?

Because men are not that bothered and don't see the need to converse with people they don't talk to that often?

gt568

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Thoughts prompted by thread about home wedding reception and a suggestion that mums/sisters could help get everything ready, only for someone else to ask 'and why not the men?'

Family gettogethers/friends gettogethers/other social events. the women run around doing the food and making rounds of tea, and clearing up. and the men sit there doing nowt and being waited on. I've never really understood it.

Happens less than it used to, I've found. It tends to be generally the older generation now, which ok I partially understand as it's the traditional way to do things, but I've been in situations with younger people too where it still happens this way. It always annoyed me when I was younger and I used to go and sit down with the men, thinking if they weren't doing anything why should I, but I grew out of that and realised that just because they were lazy/selfish (as I see it) it's no excuse to do the same.

But why does it still happen a fair bit now? It still gets on my nerves, I think it's rude. I think the men are lazy sitting on their !!!!!! not lifting a finger.

In my own family there are some men who muck in and do their share without being asked, just do it naturally, and other men who'll sit and do nothing every single time.

What do you think about this? Does anyone else get as irritated by it as I do? Or do you not encounter it any more?

If this is how it runs in your house, would you mind explaining to me why? It's not a criticism, your house your rules and all that, but why? If you are a man who sits there while the women work, why? If you are a woman, and you don't mind it/expect it, why? If you don't like it, what do you do?

There, there sugartits....get yourself back in the kitchen and make me a brew. Chop, chop....