Friend racially abused on the bus :(

Dogger69

Pinkbubbles wrote: »

Stupid as it sounds, I think interaction from another adult could have been appropriate. They could've told him to quieten down, as could have the bus driver and threatened him with removal from the bus. Especially since the bus is signposted with, abusive or threatening behaviour is not tolerated. Though I'm not sure if this extends beyond the driver?

May be idealistic to think someone would be concerned or bothered, but I am ever the optimist.

Just a quick note, did anyone get the reference to the doorbell comment I'm a little intrigued, not a phrase I've heard before.

How do you think a drunk would react to a 'threat' from the driver? Would he quieten down, or would he hit out? The driver is not paid or trained to put themselves in danger.

This man was a nasty, offensive drunk. The best thing to do is ignore such an idiot, he is not worth your time.

*max*

Nada666 wrote: »

A fifteen year old child should not dress like a fifty year old pensioner.

A fifteen year old child - or anyone of any age for that matters - should be free to dress as they please, as long as it doesn't contravene the laws of the country and not suffer abuse for it. And I, for one, am thankful for this.

shegirl

Pinkbubbles wrote: »

Stupid as it sounds, I think interaction from another adult could have been appropriate. They could've told him to quieten down, as could have the bus driver and threatened him with removal from the bus. Especially since the bus is signposted with, abusive or threatening behaviour is not tolerated. Though I'm not sure if this extends beyond the driver?

May be idealistic to think someone would be concerned or bothered, but I am ever the optimist.

Just a quick note, did anyone get the reference to the doorbell comment I'm a little intrigued, not a phrase I've heard before.

They were doing the right thing by keeping calm and polite.

If he had specifically said something directly to your friend in an abusive manner he may have been thrown off.

Unfortunately,there are people everywhere who have undesirable views on many things and will openly talk about them,not only race but other things-it's not beyond a group of lads or girls to slag off someone for being overweight for example.

This guy was drunk which likely made him air his views and be a total idiot.

While nobody has to accept what they say you have to stay as calm as possible and ignore what you can.

marisco_2

Pinkbubbles wrote: »

He then launches a personal attack, about S saying that her sort think they are so pretty and pure, yeah right she'd knock off your f***** doorbell (unsure what this means, could anyone clear this up?)
referring to the way she is dressed and the fact her hair is covered by a headscarf.

Nada666 wrote: »

A fifteen year old child should not dress like a fifty year old pensioner.

The girls were subjected to a racially abusive attack. I took the fact that the OPs friend was wearing a headscarf to be part of what she wore due to her faith. Nothing to do with dressing older than her years.

Pinkbubbles

Not sure where the 50 year old pensioner comment came from. Modest doesn't equal frumpy. I can think of many a occasion, where more would have been better than less. Personally, not being confident about my chubby legs, I'd much rather cover them and why should it matter to anyone else? I'm much more likely to avoid nasty comments than to attract them by flaunting something I don't have. Again not that it should matter to anybody?
I can see I've definitely been unreasonable, to think that someone would put themselves In danger for someone they don't know. And in the instance that they'd been heavily injured due to defending S from a few racist remarks, she'd probably feel unbelievable amounts of deserved guilt.

Buick

Those who sit by and ignore it are as bad as the perpetrators. I am shocked at people who have said OP is over-reacting. I use the bus all the time, and you do occasionally get drunks on there who can make life very unpleasant, but there's no way I'd just pretend I hadn't heard someone being threatened or not report racist abuse :mad:

balletshoes

Buick wrote: »

Those who sit by and ignore it are as bad as the perpetrators. I am shocked at people who have said OP is over-reacting. I use the bus all the time, and you do occasionally get drunks on there who can make life very unpleasant, but there's no way I'd just pretend I hadn't heard someone being threatened or not report racist abuse :mad:

so what do you do on the occasion that you're on a bus with a drunk who is making life unpleasant? And do you think a 15-year old girl should do the same thing that you are happy to do?

Buick

balletshoes wrote: »

so what do you do on the occasion that you're on a bus with a drunk who is making life unpleasant? And do you think a 15-year old girl should do the same thing that you are happy to do?

There's a difference between someone being a bit unpleasant (stinking of booze, making a racket) and someone behaving in a threatening manner towards someone else. Shame on those passengers around them who did nothing and even seemed to be colluding in it.

And as someone has said already, you're not supposed to let intoxicated people on the bus, nor are passengers allowed to drink alcohol on the bus (or eat smelly food.. but that's another topic)

The driver should have done something. And if the situation was dangerous he should have called the Police.

valk_scot

Nada666 wrote: »

A fifteen year old child should not dress like a fifty year old pensioner.

A fifteen year old should be able to dress in any way s/he pleases without being subjected to abuse from someone on a bus. Anyway, since when were fifty year olds pensioners? You, sir or madam, are simply making a pathetic attempt to stir things in a singularly unintelligent and bigoted way.

OP, I think that it was very wise to blank the guy completely. Drunks are unpredictable and often aggressive, the first priority is to keep yourselves safe. Having said that I do think you should have moved away from him, complained to the driver and if no other solution presented itself, you could also have got off the bus and waited for the next one. No, not fair at all but safety is paramount.

Would I as a stroppy 50+ year old woman have said something to this man? No, I wouldn't, I'm not going out looking for physical danger, sorry, and I don't think many folk do unless they feel very confident of themselves in a possible fight. Anyway there's no reasoning with drunks most of the time. What I might have done though is to start chatting to you and your friend, not about the abuse but just general weather and shopping talk. Association with someone more mature is often enough to deflect this sort of random abusive behaviour, on the other hand again, there's no reasoning with drunks. The other thing I would have done is backed you up if you'd complained to the driver. I do think you should complain to the bus company about how the driver ignored the situation. The driver has a certain degree of responsibility to take care of his passengers but it can happen that folk conveniently pretend to not hear rather than get involved. Directly addressing the driver would have almost forced him to take some action. Maybe...bus drivers aren't immune to racism themselves.

Humphrey10

Buick wrote: »

There's a difference between someone being a bit unpleasant (stinking of booze, making a racket) and someone behaving in a threatening manner towards someone else. Shame on those passengers around them who did nothing and even seemed to be colluding in it.

The drunk passenger wasn't going to injure the girls, but anyone who interfered might have been injured. It would have been different if he was attacking them or stealing something from them, but he wasn't - so I can understand why no-one risked their health or life to stop him. Drunk people can be violent and for all anyone knew he could have been armed, he could have reacted violently if anyone tried to shut him up.

I would have expected the bus driver to call the police, if he was aware of what was going on.