Scared

LastChanceSaloon_2

Thanks again for all the replies.

I'm wondering if I am dealing with a manic depressive really? Some of my friends have mentioned it because one minute he is completely normal and engaging while the next he is an aggressive and confrontational being. It does my head in to be honest and I'm trying to keep every exchance as emotionless and short as I can but depending on how he is he is blaming me of being "just plain !!!!!!". Then he goes back to whistling to himself!
The more I think about it the more I worry really. No matter how often I said that I will leave him (even when I sat him down calmly) he seems to be in complete denial. He just told me again that I am not being civil when he asked me if I still wanted to go to the pub tonight (I was going to take my mum and DS to a barbie at our local) and I said I really don't feel like going to the pub with him and socialising. I dare say if my mum wasn't being here he would have kicked off.. :-(
I'm most worried about leaving and him subsequently picking up Josh from school and keeping him. It is not a risk I can take cos he'd do anything to keep DS. I'm also not keen on having to make things public in order to keep him away. I'd rather nobody know!
I was going to call Women's Aid today because he was supposed to be out helping the PTA all day. After a high of getting up early, walking the dogs and god knows what else he was back at 10am because it isn't actually until tomorrow but I guess I can do it tomorrow.
Thanks again for the encouragement. I keep on going back to read my first post and wonder if I made it sound worse because all your responses seem to agree that I need to get out while I keep on worrying that this is just all in my head?

paulineb_2

LastChanceSaloon wrote: »

Thanks again for all the replies.

I'm wondering if I am dealing with a manic depressive really? Some of my friends have mentioned it because one minute he is completely normal and engaging while the next he is an aggressive and confrontational being. It does my head in to be honest and I'm trying to keep every exchance as emotionless and short as I can but depending on how he is he is blaming me of being "just plain !!!!!!". Then he goes back to whistling to himself!
The more I think about it the more I worry really. No matter how often I said that I will leave him (even when I sat him down calmly) he seems to be in complete denial. He just told me again that I am not being civil when he asked me if I still wanted to go to the pub tonight (I was going to take my mum and DS to a barbie at our local) and I said I really don't feel like going to the pub with him and socialising. I dare say if my mum wasn't being here he would have kicked off.. :-(
I'm most worried about leaving and him subsequently picking up Josh from school and keeping him. It is not a risk I can take cos he'd do anything to keep DS. I'm also not keen on having to make things public in order to keep him away. I'd rather nobody know!
I was going to call Women's Aid today because he was supposed to be out helping the PTA all day. After a high of getting up early, walking the dogs and god knows what else he was back at 10am because it isn't actually until tomorrow but I guess I can do it tomorrow.
Thanks again for the encouragement. I keep on going back to read my first post and wonder if I made it sound worse because all your responses seem to agree that I need to get out while I keep on worrying that this is just all in my head?

There are things you can do to prevent him trying to take your son, thats the very least of your worries just now as is no one knowing about what you are going through.

Its not in your head, you are being abused, please dont make excuses for him

Two choices

1 Stay and have a miserable life
2 Leave and things might be challening for a while but no more abuse, towards you, your son or any of your family

Sorry if that sounds harsh but Ive spoken about my experiences before, I grew up with a physically and mentally abusive stepfather, who used to batter my mum and mentally abuse her.

It took her two years to get him out, it was her house but he wouldnt leave. And the mental abuse she suffered was horrific as well

Its not all in your head, abusive people try and make you think it is but its not

And when my mum did get him out, shes had a better life, shes alive, she could easily have been killed by him.

You are not living a normal life, you are living with an abusive partner, please dont think any of this is all in your head, it absolutely isnt

Stay and your life is always going to be like this, he wont change.

tayforth

OP - good to hear from you.

Is there anywhere you could go to call WA today? Even for a walk?


This is not in your head - Pauline is right, that's why abusers try to make you think. Google 'gaslighting' and see if it looks familiar.

[Deleted User]

Hi - All I know with this sort of thing is it helps to SHARE ... And get your feelings out as bottled up feelings aren't good & it helps you to move on when you acknowledge exactly what you are feeling

I have a recent ex which was only a short relationship this time as I stupidly done the ''take back an ex'' thing for a couple of reasons but it wasn't worth it in the end...

I am now left feeling angry at him as his behaviour was worse than ever and he is more unpredictable now and does unpredictable things even though his WORDS remain the same ie professions of ''love''

Anyway , have decided to just get my feelings out on here etc which helps as I don't want to become bitter so would rather get my anger out re what he has done to me this time ( even though I 'let' him till I saw sense and dumped him forever )

It is about taking back control and to be honest I was thinking today I would SO rather be ''the one who got away'' than ''the one who stayed''

I just need to get rid of the last of my ( angry ) feelings towards him so I can move on and not be bitter as bitter isn't beautiful

I just SOOOOOOOOOOO want rid of this guy and am going to use the anger to push him out of my life so that I can be free from now on! :j

elisamoose

From a school perspective...if he was your husband when the child was born,the Childs father and so has parental responsibility ,the school has to hand him over to him unless there is a court order expressly forbidding this.

We are often asked by a parent not to hand over a child to he other parent because they are splitting up or some other difficulty,but are unable to get involved.

tayforth

How are things today, OP?

LastChanceSaloon_2

Hi everybody.

Sorry for not logging back on before but I had to cancel the solicitors appointment yesterday because I ended up being stuck at work all day.

Things are ok at the moment but I am acutely aware that they could change just as quickly so I am trying to make sure I keep on moving forward. Just so strange cos we did talk like normal people yesterday.

I shall call the solicitor and reschedule and take it from there really.

Thanks again for all the support.

tayforth

Good to hear from you, OP. We are all here for you if you need to talk anytime. I'm sure that it was very frustrating having to cancel the appointment. I hope that you get another one soon.