Scared

RAS

Sounds like you plan to stay in the UK?

LastChanceSaloon wrote: »

Practicalities.

Who do I contact about tax credits and financial support with housing (entitledto.com tells me I am entitled to)?

You need to know the Local Housing Allowance. Here http://www.voa.gov.uk/corporate/RentOfficers/LHADirect.html

Most COuncils have a web-site where you apply for both LHA and CTB at the same time.

You may also get Working Tax Credits and Child Tax Credits (towards child care costs). You can ring them to open a claim.

When I haved moved is there someone who will help me to arrange access for my husband to my son or is it all up to me? I have no idea at all where to start with that.

You MUST start an immediate case for residency and contact and you need to get the order made so that if your son visits and husband refuses to return the child, the police can collect the boy.

Otherwise since you both have parental responsibility he can collect the child from school and keep him for months.

pm the poster SunshineButterfly who can tell you about her trials with this.

Supervised Access through a local contact centre.

LastChanceSaloon_2

Thanks RAS.

He doesn't know that she is coming but I'm about to get her and she will have to live here! So impossible to hide!

I have the passports. We're off to Germany for a few days in a couple of weeks for my dad's 70th...

I will try and be fair cos I don't want them to lose contact but I can only do so much.

I'm not too worried in respect to custody. He will be unemployed with a history of severe depression (which he did himself so he wouldn't get fired...). So I think he will have little chance to get custody unless I'm completely wrong?

I'd like to point out that he is no different than he has been for years. He had himself signed off with depression just before a disciplinary meeting at work where he anticipated to get the sack....

RAS

Your problem with residence is going to be that he will fight:

1. The house - whoever get residence will probably be able to get an occupation order on the house. They may well also be able to live there until the little one is 18 years old/leaves school. Otherwise they will get a larger portion of any sale.

2. The benefits. As a single person he gets JSA or Income support or ESA plus rent and Council Tax benefit. Add a child and there is working tax credit, higher rent, child tax credit etc.

3. Whoever is the Parent With Care gets 15% of the other parent's salary.

LastChanceSaloon_2

RAS wrote: »

Your problem with residence is going to be that he will fight:

1. The house - whoever get residence will probably be able to get an occupation order on the house. They may well also be able to live there until the little one is 18 years old/leaves school. Otherwise they will get a larger portion of any sale.

2. The benefits. As a single person he gets JSA or Income support or ESA plus rent and Council Tax benefit. Add a child and there is working tax credit, higher rent, child tax credit etc.

3. Whoever is the Parent With Care gets 15% of the other parent's salary.

And since I am the one leaving because he would never I assume I will lose a lot of rights?

What about the fact that he is on antidepressants, has therapy and lost his job due to unpredictable behavior? How on earth would they give him a child???

RAS

LastChanceSaloon wrote: »

And since I am the one leaving because he would never I assume I will lose a lot of rights?

What about the fact that he is on antidepressants, has therapy and lost his job due to unpredictable behavior? How on earth would they give him a child???

"They" would not give him a child but until you get the residence order in place, he can just take the child and you have to fight through the courts to get him back. That can take time.

There will be a CAFCASS assessment which would include an assessment of his mental state etc and in the end you are very very likely to win.

You need to prevent him taking the child and keeping him for months by acting very quickly in terms of the legal stuff. That is what your meeting with the lawyer needs concentrate on sorting out. And possibly an occupation order, so you get the house with LO in thew short-term.

Did you ever report the times he was violent to you?

axxxl

Didn't want to read and run. Although I can't offer you any advice (it seems that other members are doing a good job of that anyway) I just wanted to say that I hope everything goes well for you.

x

Padstow

Only have a moment as have to go out, but I had to say this first. I really do think you are being too hasty in making decisions about renting property etc.
You haven't even spoken to a solicitor yet and it could well be that you will be allowed to remain in the former marital home to raise your son.
You say "He will never leave"? If he's ordered to, he'll have to.

Please calm down a little as you've put up with this for years, you can last a little longer to get it right. "Act in haste, repent at leisure."

As for H being a good father. When I separated from my ex, my daughter was saying what she'd like to happen to him. I reminded her that although he'd been a rubbish H with numerous affairs, he hadn't been a rubbish dad. She told me he'd have been a better father had she not had to witness how he treated me.
They don't miss a thing, believe me.

Hope DS had a great time with PGL.

RAS

LCS

It is important that you understand the English law in family cases;it is not always what you expect.

LastChanceSaloon_2

RAS wrote: »

"They" would not give him a child but until you get the residence order in place, he can just take the child and you have to fight through the courts to get him back. That can take time.

There will be a CAFCASS assessment which would include an assessment of his mental state etc and in the end you are very very likely to win.

You need to prevent him taking the child and keeping him for months by acting very quickly in terms of the legal stuff. That is what your meeting with the lawyer needs concentrate on sorting out. And possibly an occupation order, so you get the house with LO in thew short-term.

Did you ever report the times he was violent to you?

You can tell that I have no clue as to how things work... I shall make that the point to talk the solicitor about. I was worried what might happen if he just goes to school and gets DS (we only live 500 yards away).

It just started to get nasty when I said I'd go and collect my mum. "Why is she here again. She only left Tuesday. It's my house too. I'm going to take a note of this. You are being unreasonable. I am trying to be civil."

Not good :-(

LastChanceSaloon_2

axxxl wrote: »

Didn't want to read and run. Although I can't offer you any advice (it seems that other members are doing a good job of that anyway) I just wanted to say that I hope everything goes well for you.

x

Thank you very much. I have never been a great sharer but kept everything in. I'm amazed how lovely people are. :j