teens and drugs

pukkamum

As a weed smoker, and I mean smoker not abuser, myself, I wouldn't be too worried, I would be more worried if I found a bottle of vodka.
Hysteria is not the right reaction, she is an adult, she can make her own choices.
My concern would be ensuring she was making well informed choices.
As for it being in the house with lo's then of course you have a right to say whether you will allow her to keep it in the house, and if she is allowed then ensuring it is well out of the way of the lo's.
If at 19 I was met with hysteria and accusations for my life choices I would be very upset, angry and more inclined to keep secret any other choices I made.

barba

Say that you and dad want to have a smoke with her and watch the coolness of taking drugs disappear right in front of your eyes

pukkamum

barba wrote: »

Say that you and dad want to have a smoke with her and watch the coolness of taking drugs disappear right in front of your eyes

Assuming that young people only take drugs to look cool is very wrong, I took and still take drugs because they make me feel good, nothing to do with looking cool.
Parents especially those who have never used drugs assuming kids are taking drugs to look cool in front of their peers are very misguided and if they say as much to their kids will come across as out of touch and misinformed.

podperson

barba wrote: »

Say that you and dad want to have a smoke with her and watch the coolness of taking drugs disappear right in front of your eyes

I remember having quite a few 'smokes' with my dad when I was 20-ish and I thought it was fantastic that he understood rather than having a go at me. Admitedly looking back he was having a wee bit of a mid-life crisis at the time so he was probably more concerned with the 'coolness' aspect then I was. :rotfl:

Pixiechic

I wouldn't get too upset about it, it's just as harmful, if not less so than alcohol. I know loads of people who are damaged through health or experiences directly related to alcohol or have died through alcohol abuse. Yet no one seems to bat an eyelid when their 18 year olds go out and get out of their face drunk.

I would be very careful not to alienate her. If you talk to her calmly and sensibly about this then hopefully you will be able to do the same regarding other drugs and alcohol. Encouraging openness and honesty will hopefully make you more approachable. If not, then she will be secretive and not so honest with you.

Personally, if I were concerned about her health and welfare, I would definitely want her to feel that she could speak to me honestly and openly and that I would advise her and at least know what she is doing if it ever did progress.

nickj_2

peachyprice wrote: »

And it won't if you talk to her frankly like an adult.

Damage to mental health is something I worry about with smoking weed/dope being considered the norm nowdays. Very few youngsters realise the risks involved.

I lost a dear friend at the age of 17 due to mental health problems exacerbated by dope, I can't touch the stuff because it makes me psychotic, I've tried it twice both times I had the worst trips of my life. So I do appreciate the effects more than some do.

I told both my sons about the effect is has on me, one has never tried it, one has and he admitted that it made him paranoid, I talked to him about finding the strength to admit that it doesn't suit and not being afraid to admit that he doesn't like it, it's a difficult thing to admit to when you're 18 and all your friend are doing it, but he did and his friends respect him for it. If I hadn't had a calm sensible discussion and told him of my own experience in a non-alarmist way he'd be at risk of damaging his mental health. You and your OH have to talk to her adult to adult.

One small consolation to bear in mind, this girl is not genetically linked to you and is less likely to be effected in the same way.

my mums next door nieghbours son started smoking week when he was about 13 , by the time he was in his mid 20's he was admitted in to a metal hospital as a paranoid schizophrenic , where afaik he still and is now in his late 30's

pukkamum

nickj wrote: »

my mums next door nieghbours son started smoking week when he was about 13 , by the time he was in his mid 20's he was admitted in to a metal hospital as a paranoid schizophrenic , where afaik he still and is now in his late 30's

But yet again, I have had this argument time and time again, had the boy started abusing alchohol at 13 he would be in a bad place now too.
Yes I am not denying weed can have an adverse reaction on some, but these are far and few between and compared to the mental and physical they are minimal.

gibson123

podperson wrote: »

I remember having quite a few 'smokes' with my dad when I was 20-ish and I thought it was fantastic that he understood rather than having a go at me. Admitedly looking back he was having a wee bit of a mid-life crisis at the time so he was probably more concerned with the 'coolness' aspect then I was. :rotfl:

My father had mental health problems and he could make my poor Mum's life a nightmare depending on his reaction to his prescribed drugs. When Mum was particularly stressed she would ask for a smoke of one of my "herbal" cigs. her first smoke was in her late 50's.

OP you have the knowledge and experience to know what is and isn't safe, have a frank discussion about staying safe with drugs. Of course tell her you would prefer her not to do drugs, but if she is doing them make sure she is well informed and can turn to you if she becomes concerned.

gibson123

nickj wrote: »

my mums next door nieghbours son started smoking week when he was about 13 , by the time he was in his mid 20's he was admitted in to a metal hospital as a paranoid schizophrenic , where afaik he still and is now in his late 30's

Or it could have been that brain changes during puberty and his genes made him pre-disposed to schizophrenia and that the weed was helping him to cope.

ohreally

peachyprice wrote: »

She's 19, so an adult and free to choose what she wants to do and unfortunately you have to respect that

Er you most certainly do not have to respect that.

Re bringing it into the home, i'd read the riot act, 19yo or not. If she wants to indulge she can do so in her own house.