teens and drugs

glitter_fairy

So I have just found what looks and smell like weed in the hall next to my step daughters handbag.

She is a t work right now so I cant talk to her abaout it.

I am so angry she has brought it into my house. I have two other children to think about.

I am not sure how to handle this. Part of me wants to scream and shout but I know that that will not help the situation.

Has anyone been in this situation?

I used to take drugs myself as a teen so I do understand the apeal. I just dont want to see her make the same mistakes as we did, or have them around the younger children.

peachyprice

She's 19, so an adult and free to choose what she wants to do and unfortunately you have to respect that. If you're worried about her making the same mistakes as you discuss it with her, tell her your experiences, but don't start screaming and shouting at her, this will achieve nothing.

However, it's your house so I would make it perfectly clear while it's up to her what she does outside of the home you will not tolerate her bringing drugs into the house where there are young children, this is 100% not acceptable.

Bazey

Are you sure it's not oregano?

You could be getting worked up over nothing.

Claree__x

Having a similar issue with my cousin who's just turned 18. She posted something on Instagram this morning with a caption along the lines of "This is what drink & drugs does to you #judgeme #whocares".

She's generally really sensible, likes going out drinking but who didn't at 18? It's the drugs bit that concerns me really. I don't want to be the big-bad-cousin who mentions it but it just doesn't sit right with me, particularly since I don't know what drugs she's talking about. Honestly, if it was weed it wouldn't bother me in this case but I can see from the OPs point of view about having other kids.

I'd suggest talking to her, same as peachyprice says, let her know it's not acceptable in the house.

glitter_fairy

Bazey wrote: »

Are you sure it's not oregano?

You could be getting worked up over nothing.

very sure, I know the difference in smell

podperson

I think staying calm in the key here. If she's over 18 then she is an adult so it's important to try and talk to her as one. Maybe say that while you appreciate you can't tell her what she can and can't do then you don't want it in your home or around your younger children. I think most of us have probably tried weed around that age (I know pretty much all my friends did) so if she's just having an odd smoke at weekend I would try not to get too worked up. It might be worth a chat though just to make that's all it is and she's not getting too involved with it or anything else.

pops5588

As you're her step-mum, do you think it would be helpful to bring her father into the dialogue as well?

glitter_fairy

pops5588 wrote: »

As you're her step-mum, do you think it would be helpful to bring her father into the dialogue as well?

I will be doing yes but he is at work so I cant right now

System

My worry would be for the younger children. Ive never had anything bought into my house but the kids knew that if I had found any it would have been flushed straight down the toilet.

My house, my rules.

I agree with the previous poster. Really, you need to speak to your husband. Its his daughter. He really needs to be the one to deal with it.

I went through similar issues with my eldest when he was 19. Despite numerous warnings he was asked to leave before he was thrown out.

Ever found your son glue sniffing in the tiny bedroom he shared with his younger severely asthmatic brother? I have and it wasn't very pleasant.

NAR

Chat to your OH and have an agreed approach to step daughter. Tell him your concerns for both her and the younger children, so you will be both talking calmly to the SD from the same page. Is your relationship with her good enough to have a "big sister" type chat about use of drugs generally?

kaya

Your worried she will make the same mistakes as you did? I'm making an assumption that you are a well balanced person with a reasonable standard of living and a few kids now, so you took drugs when you were younger , had a good time and didn't turn into a smack addicted prostitute , what mistakes exactly did you make then? I agree its your house and people should respect your wishes entirely but this is just another phase of growing up and unlike most of the posters on here you have had first hand experience of how weed doesn't live up to the propoganda you see on Jeremy Kyle and destroy lives ( assuming once again you aren't a destroyed life type of person), talk to her and discuss it like a grown up, be honest and give her the benefit of your experiences and she may respect your wishes rather than alienating her by going on the offensive