My moody 10 year old son.

heartbreak_star

I absolutely second LARP and tabletop roleplaying as another hobby. I got into it after playing games like The Immortal on my Mega Drive (yea, I'm old ). As well as the events themselves, there's the fun of writing your character, making your kit (LARP) and also - you're never stuck for birthday presents again!

My Dungeons and Dragons group would occasionally run a session where our parents would join in and they found it fun too.

Is he artistic? Would he consider Warhammer? (mind you, that can get expensive).

HBS x

jaxjax123

kjmtidea wrote: »

My 11 year old is having moments like this, luckily it is not all the time or I think I would throttle him. I've put a timer on his xbox so he can play it for an hour a day and that's it. He will still do stuff with us but there are occasions that he would rather stay at home with his head in a book - like yesterday when we went for a walk along the beach.

Perhaps let him choose a new hobby? My eldest 3 do 4 1/2 hours of taekwondo a week, it's great exercise, they've made loads of friends and it's a disciplined sport which I think helps too.

Thats a good amount of exercise they have.

When I ask him what he wants to do he just says xbox. I think he would love it if they had a Saturday morning Xbox club. When we go on holiday he joins the kids club and uses their games consoles rather that coming out with us.

I know it may sound like I am trying to put my views on him but I do, do it with him in mind.

jaxjax123

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I absolutely second LARP and tabletop roleplaying as another hobby. I got into it after playing games like The Immortal on my Mega Drive (yea, I'm old ). As well as the events themselves, there's the fun of writing your character, making your kit (LARP) and also - you're never stuck for birthday presents again!

My Dungeons and Dragons group would occasionally run a session where our parents would join in and they found it fun too.

Is he artistic? Would he consider Warhammer? (mind you, that can get expensive).

HBS x

He likes art but isn't very artistic, I have showed him LARPing and he thought it looked great.

heartbreak_star

It really is. I describe it as interactive storytelling, or a play with no lines.

If you all fancy a go, drop me a PM and I'll send you a link to some vids that were made at my last event!

HBS x

FBaby

jaxjax123 wrote: »

My son and I used to do everything together. I think that is why I am finding it hard too. He just needs me a little less I suppose.

I'm not sure they really do. Last summer, we did a kind of adventure holiday, my son loved it, but I felt my daughter was left out because she didn't enjoy the activities, so last week, I book us a holiday that involved clubs for their age specifically, with a lot of kids to play with. I thought that's what they wanted at their age, but I've found that they loved the activities, but were happy to be with each other and me rather than making new friends. It was really nice as I thought that was it, them wanting to spend time with friends over parents, but not the case then!

You don't mention siblings except your younger son. Is there anyone in between? My two, despite being different sex and 3 years apart are extremely close. I thought that would stop when the eldest started secondary, but it hasn't been the case. They do a lot together and I think that helps them being more active.

Ironically, my son has made a new friend who is in class and by chance lives right next to us (even though we are quite a bit far away from the school). He spend quite a bit of time together and my son was invited over. His friend told him to bring his x-box game and my son's response was 'gosh he annoys me always wanting to play the x-box when we can be playing football together!'

So maybe it does come down to your son seeing his friends more often.

A bit like his dad

Well, funny how I was going to say that but thought I would be accused of sexism!!!

HeadAboveWater

FBaby wrote: »

He is just a moody male creature

jaxjax123 wrote: »

A bit like his dad

FBaby wrote: »

Well, funny how I was going to say that but thought I would be accused of sexism!!!

I'll say it then.... it's just all males

bagpussbear

Does sound like your son is hitting the teenager years a bit quickly, lol.

But without being disrespectful, you do sound quite pushy about things. Your likes are not his likes. It's good that you have some gaming days with him, but you need to respect the fact he wants to do his own thing.

Maybe encourage him to go out with friends, or do something after school, but it doesn't sound like he wants to do much with you I'm afraid.

My son reached that stage at about 14, and I felt sad as had always enjoyed out times out together.

One trick I've used is to say I need his 'help' on something, whether it's cooking, or popping out to the shop as the item is too heavy for me to lift (well that's what I tell him) and he seems happy to do that, which gives him a break away from his room, xbox whatever and spend a bit of time chatting together.

jaxjax123

bagpussbear wrote: »

Does sound like your son is hitting the teenager years a bit quickly, lol.

But without being disrespectful, you do sound quite pushy about things. Your likes are not his likes. It's good that you have some gaming days with him, but you need to respect the fact he wants to do his own thing.

Maybe encourage him to go out with friends, or do something after school, but it doesn't sound like he wants to do much with you I'm afraid.

My son reached that stage at about 14, and I felt sad as had always enjoyed out times out together.

One trick I've used is to say I need his 'help' on something, whether it's cooking, or popping out to the shop as the item is too heavy for me to lift (well that's what I tell him) and he seems happy to do that, which gives him a break away from his room, xbox whatever and spend a bit of time chatting together.

I try not to be too pushy. It's hard. I never had much interaction from my parents when I was growing up and I suppose I want to make sure he doesn't feel like that. But maybe I'm going to far. This parenting lark is tricky!

I think I may try to hard. I am the type of person who likes everything to be perfect. I know.... I know.... Life just not like that but everyones different. I think I will try to relax strangely enough I am super relaxed with my younger son.

jaxjax123

FBaby wrote: »

You don't mention siblings except your younger son. Is there anyone in between?

We just have the 2 children, big age gap I wasn't sure if I'd be any good at being mum Then when eldest was 6/7 I thought hold on I'm not so bad.

pukkamum

Ah welcome to the tweens.
My son started secondary last year and turned into the tween from hell, we had tears, tantrums, and that was just me lol, no seriously he was a right pita.
It took time but we got our nice boy back eventually we just had to let him work through it.
As regards to the xbox, we are all gamers in this house and I totally understand his desire to just sit playing it all day, there are times I wish I could do that myself!
We have an understanding that a new game can be played to excess but a controlled excess, there is nothing worse than being involved in a game, desperate to know what happens and being dragged off to do something else, I think getting to the end of a game shows real concentration and perseverance and is a good thing.
We find that after he has had a big session on his xbox, completing a game he loses interest and will do other things again, anything that is withheld becomes an obsession and is much harder to deal with.
Have a chat with him about the game he is playing, is he trying to complete a level etc find a compromise you can both live with.
Many parents need to accept that the way children play is changing and although it may seem wrong and frightening to many it is just the way of the world.
I wonder how many 1950 or 60's parents shouted turn that radio off and come downstairs!