My moody 10 year old son.

HeadAboveWater

It's an age thing!!

Me and OH are very outdoorsy. His girls, on the other hand, are really not! (17, 15 and 12) It's soooo hard to get them motivated to do anything 'out and about'. We can sometimes get the 12yo to join us for a walk, but not generally. All they like doing is texting/BBM/youtube/FB/etc :mad::p

Generally the only thing we can get them all to agree to is heading to the Port for a coffee. Or in their case, a hot chocolate! (followed by a stroll down the prom!! ) Works every time!

jaxjax123

Melaniep101 wrote: »

My 11 year old stepson is the same, we can't get him to do anything! He is obsessed with the Xbox and more recently his Ipad to the point where that's the only thing he will talk about. Weirdly, the only other thing he does enjoy, is baking (his mum won't let him near the oven at home, so it's a treat for him to be trusted at our house).

I really think kids get so absorbed in gaming, but to the point where it's unhealthy. We have to limit the time spent doing it while he's staying with us.

Maybe you could both try some new things together, to see if anything floats his boat? E.g. Fishing, baking, playing an instrument, climbing (those wall things), try a dry ski slope?

I do like the trying new things idea. Problem is I tend to like them more than he does. That's how I found Geocaching, trying to get him in the fresh air.
It appears to me he is a very indoors person and I am outdoors. Even as far as eating dinner in the garden. He would perfer to be sat at the dining room table.

I will have a chat with him and see if there is anything he would like to try out.

tonyalcock

Well, I guess that today`s teenagers are a little bit more different than us Basically you need to be very caring, understanding and supportive of him, as the difficult times are to come

bluenoseam

What to remember is that YOU find these things enjoyable, he on the other hand doesn't - and to be quite honest, I can't say I blame him. You plopped him in a car to go cycling, you want him to go geocaching - you have any idea how BORING these activities can seem?

I know you want him to be outdoorsy and stuff, but you can't force that on him without him naturally resenting it, we're in 2013 remember, fun has changed over the last few years!

jaxjax123

HeadAboveWater wrote: »

It's an age thing!!

Me and OH are very outdoorsy. His girls, on the other hand, are really not! (17, 15 and 12) It's soooo hard to get them motivated to do anything 'out and about'. We can sometimes get the 12yo to join us for a walk, but not generally. All they like doing is texting/BBM/youtube/FB/etc :mad::p

Generally the only thing we can get them all to agree to is heading to the Port for a coffee. Or in their case, a hot chocolate! (followed by a stroll down the prom!! ) Works every time!

See that was my plan today we were cycling for chips and a couple of pound in the arcade but things he does like. But he couldn't muster the energy. He just wanted to drive. :cool:
I remember as a kid being fitter than my parents, now I'm fitter than my son. Hopefully not for too long

pigpen

Go join him on the xbox!!

We have taken ours outside on more than one occasion.. and laptops and watched films and played games together.

Finding mine 'jobs' to help me work too.. he hates it but I don't care I do believe you have to maintain that they cannot spend forever glued to the one eyed monster. He also has 'his job' .. caring for and cleaning out the bunny.

I find having silly conversations keeps the lines of communication open too.. One of his favourite conversations was finding words to call a unicorn.. e.g. a vegetarian unicorn is a uniquorn, a bald one a unishorn... all intellectual stuff

They do come out the other side.. honest!

jaxjax123

bluenoseam wrote: »

What to remember is that YOU find these things enjoyable, he on the other hand doesn't - and to be quite honest, I can't say I blame him. You plopped him in a car to go cycling, you want him to go geocaching - you have any idea how BORING these activities can seem?

I know you want him to be outdoorsy and stuff, but you can't force that on him without him naturally resenting it, we're in 2013 remember, fun has changed over the last few years!

Being outdoors, Boring NEVER
Getting muddy, worn out covered in cuts from brambles. How could anyone say it's boring. :rotfl:

On a serious note I like to get him to try things before he can say he doesn't like them otherwise he'd never know would he?

jaxjax123

pigpen wrote: »

Go join him on the xbox!!

We have taken ours outside on more than one occasion.. and laptops and watched films and played games together.

Finding mine 'jobs' to help me work too.. he hates it but I don't care I do believe you have to maintain that they cannot spend forever glued to the one eyed monster. He also has 'his job' .. caring for and cleaning out the bunny.

I find having silly conversations keeps the lines of communication open too.. One of his favourite conversations was finding words to call a unicorn.. e.g. a vegetarian unicorn is a uniquorn, a bald one a unishorn... all intellectual stuff

They do come out the other side.. honest!

Good ideas. I like the unicorn word games I may have to think up one of my own

z.n

Ten seems young for this type of behaviour. My son showed signs of playstation obsession at a similar age so I just removed it entirely for about 3 years.That may not be viable though depending on the peer group- but strict limits on screen time are a must. The sooner you introduce proper controls the better- the problem only gets harder to handle as they get older so having some guidelines in place now is essential.

I think sometimes if they are online a lot there can be an element of bullying about it- a need to be present online or they might get excluded from the group IYSWIM. If so then it might be a good time to review the friendship group. Just because some kids are allowed unrestrained access to gaming doesn't mean they all are-maybe foster friendships with the more relaxed kids.

Our solution (of sorts) was to make sure online friends are real life good friends first and to join local outdoor sports clubs. We also limit our expectations of 'family outdoor fun' and recognise that we need other kids around to make any 'healthy' activity attractive-so meeting up with a friend to go cycling is jumped at whereas the idea of a family bike ride would be very unpopular. We also try to be reasonably sensitive to any special arrangements made to meet up online - if they are real friends from school etc then if they agree to meet in a game at a certain time then that is ok-we fit it into our family schedule. We have the machine downstairs though so we can keep a vague eye on what is happening and are perfectly prepared to engineer a power cut.

jaxjax123

glitter_fairy wrote: »

does he have friends over? does that perk him up at all?

Because we moved and kept him at the same school all his school friends live a few miles away.
We encouraged him to go to the park and make friends in the village but they tend to be a bit younger and aren't allowed out to much. It's a case of in his house or ours. And I really would like him to play out sometimes. I think it build your personality making your own decisions whilst out playing.

He starts secondary school in September so I am hoping he will be able to make friends there.