My moody 10 year old son.

LannieDuck

Nothing wrong with playing on the xbox, but I understand you want to make sure he's active too. As others have said, I think the problem may be that you're trying to force your idea of fun onto him. I have to say, a cycle ride in hot weather doesn't sound appealing to me either!

Since he likes xbox, would he like to take his mates and try paintballing? Or could you find a LARP group close to you? (10 is slightly young for LARPing, but some groups will take children.) How about suggesting he takes up archery? Fencing? Martial arts?

See if you can get him to tell you what sort of activities his friends do. I'm sure a couple of them will have interests beyond the xbox. (My parents had never heard of LARPing when I started - maybe there's something weird and wonderful like that that he could get into.)

amanda_8t4

Hello, I have an 11 year old son soon to be 12. He started with puberty about 18 months ago and it's not been easy. His mood swings are award worthy and every now and then he will come and ask me why he feels like crying, poor !!!!!!. It's important to remember that at this age boys will be more tired due to their hormones. My son tends to eat, sleep and xbox and not much in between. His whole life seems to be online and we have some cracking arguments about it but I have to keep reminding myself that he won't be like this forever!! In a few years it will be all about the girls so for the time being I am happy to cherish the time he spends at home. Your episode with the bike sounds like just the sort of thing my son would do however I have to be very strict with things like that, if I have scheduled time outside in the sun then it has to be adhered too or else the xbox is banned for x amount of time.

jaxjax123

LannieDuck wrote: »

Nothing wrong with playing on the xbox, but I understand you want to make sure he's active too. As others have said, I think the problem may be that you're trying to force your idea of fun onto him. I have to say, a cycle ride in hot weather doesn't sound appealing to me either!

Since he likes xbox, would he like to take his mates and try paintballing? Or could you find a LARP group close to you? (10 is slightly young for LARPing, but some groups will take children.) How about suggesting he takes up archery? Fencing? Martial arts?

See if you can get him to tell you what sort of activities his friends do. I'm sure a couple of them will have interests beyond the xbox. (My parents had never heard of LARPing when I started - maybe there's something weird and wonderful like that that he could get into.)

i too had never heard of LARPing but after googling it I now know what it is. He would love that. He has a very big imagination which his school teachers comment on. I will look into that see if there is anything for his age locally.

jaxjax123

amanda_8t4 wrote: »

Hello, I have an 11 year old son soon to be 12. He started with puberty about 18 months ago and it's not been easy. His mood swings are award worthy and every now and then he will come and ask me why he feels like crying, poor !!!!!!. It's important to remember that at this age boys will be more tired due to their hormones. My son tends to eat, sleep and xbox and not much in between. His whole life seems to be online and we have some cracking arguments about it but I have to keep reminding myself that he won't be like this forever!! In a few years it will be all about the girls so for the time being I am happy to cherish the time he spends at home. Your episode with the bike sounds like just the sort of thing my son would do however I have to be very strict with things like that, if I have scheduled time outside in the sun then it has to be adhered too or else the xbox is banned for x amount of time.

My son too cries out of the blue. He is showing signs he has lumps under his nipples which is apparently a sign of puberty. I thought perhaps other signs would be months down the line. It all seems to be happening now. He is food his food too I think that is tiredness.

jaxjax123

FBaby wrote: »

I meant to say about the x-box that I have tried to introduce the 'you can go on your x-box after .....' The thing is, even if I remind him in advance a few times, he can still give me grief when it comes to it, yet at other times like this week-end, I didn't even need to say it, he took it upon himself to clear up his bedroom as soon as he got home before going on it and before I had said anything!

He is just a moody male creature

A bit like his dad

jaxjax123

FBaby wrote: »

I can totally relate to this. My 10 year old is quite active, so getting him out is not much an issue most of the time (although he also has his moments when I can't get him to do anything out), but my issue is with him accepting to do any type of chores. I always make a point of asking nicely and all I get back is attitude. It infuriates me as I do so much for him. It went on for month and we had bad times. Recently, it's been better although there is still way too much moaning for my liking!

What I have noticed is that his mood is very much affected by how tired he is. When he has been off school for a week and got to rest, he becomes lovely and cooperative again, but when we get towards the end of term, it's a real challenge. He is becoming more aware of the inappropriateness of his behaviour and the way he can talk to me and this has got much better and also recognises (without acknowledging!) when he is tired and needs to get more sleep (he does go to bed at 8:30-9:00, but wakes up early and don't always catch up as he needs during week-ends).

The issue of not having things in common is one I share with my 13 year old daughter. She is very girly, interested in teenage girl things, shopping, hair and not much into sporting activities. At what point I felt quite distressed about it as it seemed we had so little to share and she spent more and more time in her bedroom. I found it hard because we were so close when she was little and very active so I haven't seen it coming. Saying that, she is starting to be more interested in sport this year and has even said she wanted to start running and we went out together once! She is also a bit less self-absorbed.

We've just been on holiday and it's gone ok overall. I did get frustrating with my son whinging as soon as we had to walk and do the quickest visiting of new places, but then was absolutely fine about it the last two days! I also got frustrated with my daughter happy to stay in bed until noon and not making the best of what was available.

One thing that I have accepted is that they are still young, and still need to be told what to do, especially as most of the time, they end up really enjoying what we did. I also try to set things up the same day every week, to avoid one saying they are desperate to go whilst the other is absolutely refusing. I now say that we will go every Wednesday whether they like it or not. They anticipate it and this avoids arguments.

My son and I used to do everything together. I think that is why I am finding it hard too. He just needs me a little less I suppose.

LannieDuck

jaxjax123 wrote: »

i too had never heard of LARPing but after googling it I now know what it is. He would love that. He has a very big imagination which his school teachers comment on. I will look into that see if there is anything for his age locally.

If that sort of thing interests him, you might also like to look up Role-playing (either tabletop or freeform, esp Whitewolf, e.g. Vampire the masquerade, although it's less out doorsy than LARPing, it would at least get him away from the xbox), and re-enactment (although that will almost certainly need a parent to go along with him).

LannieDuck

jaxjax123 wrote: »

My son and I used to do everything together. I think that is why I am finding it hard too. He just needs me a little less I suppose.

There was a LARP I heard of recently that was specifically designed for parents to go to with their children. I can't remember offhand what it was, but if you (or your husband) would be willing to give it a go, I'll dig it out of my e-mail when I get home.

jaxjax123

LannieDuck wrote: »

There was a LARP I heard of recently that was specifically designed for parents to go to with their children. I can't remember offhand what it was, but if you (or your husband) would be willing to give it a go, I'll dig it out of my e-mail when I get home.

Great thank you

kjmtidea

My 11 year old is having moments like this, luckily it is not all the time or I think I would throttle him. I've put a timer on his xbox so he can play it for an hour a day and that's it. He will still do stuff with us but there are occasions that he would rather stay at home with his head in a book - like yesterday when we went for a walk along the beach.

Perhaps let him choose a new hobby? My eldest 3 do 4 1/2 hours of taekwondo a week, it's great exercise, they've made loads of friends and it's a disciplined sport which I think helps too.