The Ultimate Incentive part 10. The only thing holding you back is you.

Lara44

Eeep, Dinah you've got to learn to say no to those pretty things in the short term - because it means financial stability in the medium to long term. Remember your incentive is financial freedom. Guests will be coming to see your lovely family and they won't care about decorations or fancy plates. You invested in making your house look nice in the first place - I am sure it's already lovely. I'm addicted to pound shops, you would be surprised what good stuff you can get in there. There's not too much damage done after a big splurge

I would challenge the gas if you think you're being charged too much. They wrote us a letter saying we had £250 in credit, but that they needed to put up our monthly payment!

I also think you're crazy cancelling the DLA, the gas bill for example is still probably being evened out. I don't think you should cancel until after next winter.

CMD - great progress on the driving by the sounds of it :j

Got the closet finished, pics to follow soon. It's not very glam but a big improvement, so I'm well chuffed.

Dinah93

I just genuinely don't think she's entitled to DLA at the present time, and I don't want to be overpaid a benefit firstly because paying it back would not be fun, but secondly because I'd rather that money was available to someone who needs it more right now.

Tete_en_l'Air

Keep meaning to catch up properly but new threads always run away from me Just wanted to jump in here though:

Dinah93 wrote: »

I just genuinely don't think she's entitled to DLA at the present time, and I don't want to be overpaid a benefit firstly because paying it back would not be fun, but secondly because I'd rather that money was available to someone who needs it more right now.

That's not how it works though - your claiming this money for Grace doesn't mean that someone else will miss out - they don't have a quota and once xxx amount of people are receiving it they won't give any more out.*

Also, it's not up to you to decide if Grace is entitled to it - that's what the assessors are there for. I mean look at my Dad - he looks and seems perfectly healthy but is now in receipt of all kinds of benefits because he's on chemo. And you know what, he's not going to refuse them because he 'feels OK at the moment' - he's contributed national insurance all his life and is entitled to these payments, which just ease money worries when he has health worries to think about as well. If you haven't already cancelled I'd strongly advise you not to, not least because once you've cancelled it, it'll be a rigmarole starting a claim again from scratch if you need to.

Put the money aside in savings if you're worried you'll need to pay it back - it might turn into a little nest egg for her when she's older

*I mean, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that but who knows with the current govt?!

Now, the small matter of the pretty paper cups. Isn't it you who's always saying not to stress about the small details re. weddings because no-one notices them on the day? Same here - everyone's attention is going to be on that gorgeous girl. It's done now, but don't do it again *slaps wrist*.

Hi everyone! :hello:

Tesco_points_addict

Dinah93 wrote: »

I just genuinely don't think she's entitled to DLA at the present time, and I don't want to be overpaid a benefit firstly because paying it back would not be fun, but secondly because I'd rather that money was available to someone who needs it more right now.

Now listen hear you naughty lady.....(sorry I was very harsh last night, but I see soooooooooo many people through my job, that claim anything and everything and they really shouldn't be and you and yours are not those people!) Grace is a poorly little girl, the fact she has come on leaps and bounds is FABULOUS!! But, you have said yourself she finds it difficult to regulate her temperature, amongst other things....so let the DLA people decide if she is still entitled to it. Its there to help you through difficult times. As others have pointed out, the fact that she doesn't get the money, sadly does not mean it gets passed onto someone more 'worthy'.

Now behave and go ring the people up and tell them you had a funny turn!

Big hugs

TPAx

Dinah93

I think guests can notice the small details but rarely do, they just enjoy the overall day, or at least the general theme better than the couple. I couldn't tell you anything about the flowers in the church at my wedding, despite them all being grown by a friend and decorated by her and her family, but I could tell you what my cousin's tables looked like. On your big day you don't notice anything short of a fire. In fairly large detail terms the chairs at my cousin's wedding were hired for 2 hours only and she was an hour late, and they were collected up from the ceremony and taken away nearly an hour before the bus came to pick up all the guests, so we were all then stood in a 32C courtyard and people were getting a bit faint - new priority for brides to be - I'd much rather have seating for an extra hour in the mid day sun than wedding favours/flowers on tables/pretty much anything else. End of the day the prettifying of Grace's Christening is more for me I guess than anyone else, I just love a nice party.

Birdie85

I've lost count of the hours I've [strike]wasted[/strike] spent on making decorations for parties and buying co-ordinating tableware for them to barely even be noticed! BUT when we go to other people's houses for parties and you're lucky if they provide a bag a of crisps (served in a cereal bowl) and some don't even bother to clean up properly before the party starts, well... I like to think that at least when people come to ours we can be satisfied that they see we've made an effort to decorate and cater a full snack table in nice serving bowls/platters.

You seem to be fairly stuck in a mindset about the DLA so I don't think anything anyone says will make you change your mind, but considering part of the reason you're still off work is to care for Grace as she can't go into nursery for fear of infection and you're struggling financially as a result... well I think you're crazy to refuse money that you're entitled to.

Hooray for finally finishing the closet Lara! :T

Dinah93

To get higher rate DLA she has to need significant additional care including during the night, as she's off her 6hourly medicine and oxygen now she doesn't meet this. The get the middle rate she has to have significant additional needs daily, again she doesn't have this now, she's a normal baby. She only has additional needs during the winter months now and I honestly believe taking the money would constitute benefit fraud. I have spoken to a local charity who help people apply and they don't think she qualifies anymore either.

I feel the same Birdie, I like knowing I've made an effort for people when I invite them over.

No spending diary from me the last two days as I've managed not to spend anything, although NIM has but he hasn't told me what yet. Need to check the online banking try to work some of it out.

Dinah93

Day in the garden tending our veg isn't going well, it's absolutely belting it down here.

Ebay have a promotion on today of free listing on 10 day listings, so trying to get a few bits and bobs up. I need to tidy the guest room anyway, so I might as well sell things as I find them rather than put them away to sell later, no time like the present etc.

In terms of putting things off I heard a great technique recently, if you're finding it hard to start a task set a timer for 5 mins, and just start. If after 5 mins you're still really struggling to have the drive for it go away and come back to it later, but 9 times out of 10 you'll be into it by then and able to just crack on. Works for me for everything from cleaning the kitchen to writing my ebook.

Dinah93

Just realised that sounds like I found a great technique to help put things off rather than to kick the procrastination habit! None of us need help with that!

alioops78

Hi Dinah

Sorry but I'm another one that's going to tell you off about cancelling the DLA, just because Grace doesn't look like she needs it now doesn't mean that she won't need it in the future.

I am receipt of DLA and look 'normal' but when you get to know me you notice all the things that affect me. Without DLA I wouldn't be able to get to work as easily as I do or pay for the extra heating that's needed as my extremities are cold all the time. Also I'm having to go in for an operation in 4 weeks time and the DLA is going to be helping to cover costs due to sick pay as I'll be off for at least 6 weeks recovering if not longer.

Also with the introduction of PIP she probably won't be entitled to it when you come to claim it for her again. I am going to have to go through a review next year and more than likely won't be entitled which is going to be a huge burden to myself and DH. I have just checked with a welfare rights officer (I work in the same office) and he's said that you're better off waiting for the review of her entitlement rather than cancelling it yourself, or if you still want to notifiy them of the change in her circumstances do that and they will decide if you're still entitled to something.

Something is better than nothing.

Again sorry if you feel I've been harsh but Grace's benefit won't go to someone who's more entitled in fact there's a case where twins with Downs Syndrome with the same complications went through the process of claiming PIP. One was awarded full benefits and the other was awarded nothing, goes to show how bad the system really is.

Alioops