etiquette at family homes

Person_one

Gloomendoom wrote: »

A chap I know won't allow people to wear shoes on his boat, in case they mark the pristine whiteness of it.

That's the logical conclusion when someone has that rule though, isn't it? That they care more about their floors than about their guests' comfort.

Personally, I detest that rule. It may be partly to do with the fact that the only people I know who have it are fussy, unfriendly, snotty, unpleasant people anyway and its probably partly to do with the fact that I've known a fair few people with foot issues like lymphoedema, amputated toes etc. and I hate the thought of them being expected to either suffer the embarrassment or discomfort/pain of going shoeless or grovel to their 'host' for an exception and have everybody wondering why.

You'd never expect anyone to take off any other items of clothing if they didn't want to, after all!

Lifeforms

Generally no rules. smoking outside because it's rented, shoes on, or off unless they're very dirty. But to be fair I always take my shoes off at the front door, so if people come in with me they seem to do the same, or take them off when they see mine are off at the door. If they wanted windows open, only living room one because there's a cat net on it, and they can clamber on the window sill and have a good jank at it to open it

The only rule, or not really a rule, but a note if anyone goes to the bog. I live alone, so door is always open. When others use it and close the door, no matter what they've done they must leave the door open after they're finished, and if necessary spray to cover up anything Cat needs access to the bathroom too, as his litter box is in there. I get a little snarky as my pet has equal rights over this! Most remember now anyway.

Parents have any access (they have keys) and it doesn't bother me if they make tea, eat food, feed the cat, do the washing up, just so long as they don't ask. I spent enough time in theirs being independent, so they can be the same in mine. As for going to theirs, I never knock unless it's locked and I cba'd to find their keys, food/drink is anyones as long as you ask the others if they want some too (I often reheat a family meal weekly there anyway) and I smoke outside, although when it's wet, windy, snowy, in the utility room next to open door With indoor cats the through door is closed so shouldn't allow smoke through. What else? If I shower there, I usually ask if it's ok, unless I'm alone, then I go for it. If their cats are hungry I'll feed them.

I am still training people who come in mine that there is no need to ask my permission to use the toilet to do a naturally occurring function that comes to everyone. It's not like I'd say no, so therefore no need to ask

For me going into others I wont ask to use the toilet, unless I don't know where it is, I'll just use it. I will never presume to smoke inside unless they smoke too, and even then I'd rather not increase a smoky room even more. Wouldn't smoke in cars, and never take food or drinks in unless they are closed.

paulineb_2

I dont have any rules (well, I wouldnt want someone turning up snorting cocaine or anything like that), but I dont ask people to remove their shoes at the door. My mum hasnt smoked in a long time, Im not a smoker either.

I only really get my mum visiting very occasionally my brother as Im on the edge of town and its a PITA to get here, particularly at night, none of us drive, so I tend to know when shes going to be here.

She can cook what she likes and eat what she likes when shes here, but I tend to cook her a meal. When Im at hers for a few days, generally over Christmas, I'll happily sit and eat chocolate and drink wine and use her shower (she wouldnt ever expect me to ask), but when she comes down here I'll often give her food to take home with her.

Ive never been asked to take my shoes off going into anyones house, but if that was their rule then fair enough.

ognum

Gloomendoom wrote: »

A chap I know won't allow people to wear shoes on his boat, in case they mark the pristine whiteness of it.

I know some captains of multi million pound mega yachts, they also make everyone take their shoes off even the mega wealthy charterers, it's abreast leveller

maman

Gloomendoom wrote: »

A chap I know won't allow people to wear shoes on his boat, in case they mark the pristine whiteness of it.

ognum wrote: »

I know some captains of multi million pound mega yachts, they also make everyone take their shoes off even the mega wealthy charterers, it's abreast leveller

I think it's standard practice/etiquette on boats. Definitely no hard soled/black soled shoes to scuff the deck.

Person_one wrote: »

That's the logical conclusion when someone has that rule though, isn't it? That they care more about their floors than about their guests' comfort.

Personally, I detest that rule. It may be partly to do with the fact that the only people I know who have it are fussy, unfriendly, snotty, unpleasant people anyway why.

Oh you've met my in-laws person_one!:rotfl::rotfl:

I couldn't agree with you more.;)

moonbabe58

We only have a few rules in our house, which apply to ourselves and guests!

- No shoes upstairs - I always wondered why people had this rule until I first actually had to pay for carpets!
- No smoking in the house - think that is kind of a given though in the majority of houses.
- No feeding the dog human food - we have worked very hard to make sure she doesn't beg for food and don't want all our good work undone by people giving her scraps!

Errata

Rules for visitors? What next - give them a copy of the T&C before they step over the doorstep?
I don't have any requirements that my visitors have to fulfil, other than be good company. I value them far more highly than my carpets.

Hermia

peachyprice wrote: »

I can't imagine opening windows in anyone else's house other than a room I was sleeping in, would people really do that?

I used to have a friend who kept all her radiators on at full whack all the time (the whole family seemed to really feel the cold). Whenever I went there I would sit there with the sweat pouring off me and a thumping headache. My one request to open a window didn't go down too well. I know people who wouldn't go to their house because they couldn't cope with the heat.

No smoking is my only real rule. I would hope other rules would come under the realms of common sense and manners, but they don't always!

I haven't encountered the no shoe rule yet. I hope if it takes off in this country that hosts might start supplying cheap slippers for people to use. This seems to happen in countries where the no shoes rule is common. Having seen the state of some of my friend's floors I'm not sure I'd want to walk around in socks!

picklekin

We don't really have any rules, I'd prefer they didn't smoke inside but everyone goes out without being asked. I just find it weird when people do things without asking, my MIL goes and makes herself a coffee and DOESN'T OFFER US ONE! I don't like people just helping themselves to things, I make careful meal plans and if you eat all my cheese then a meal is gonna be cheeseless, but I wouldn't say anything to the guests, just b1tch about it to my OH later.:o

Gavin83

paulineb wrote: »

well, I wouldnt want someone turning up snorting cocaine or anything like that

This wouldn't bother me. Smoking is my only no no.