etiquette at family homes

busiscoming2

I think on the whole they should follow your rules.

We have a no shoe and no smoking policy. I also have a thing about newsprint so no newspapers unless it's the kitchen and you wash your hands after!

Re, the window opening, I suppose it depends on how warm/cold it is. I wouldn't want my guests to feel cold.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

The rules go out the door when we have visitors - apart from 'no smoking in the house' which is never an issue as all our smoker friends automatically will go outside anyway.

There are no rules really, are there? It's more preferences than rules.

We couldn't have a no shoes rule as we are outdoors all the time and it would get very tedious very quickly; no outdoor shoes upstairs is more in line with our ethos mainly because that's where the carpet starts and we don't like to keep getting the dyson out.

Pixiechic

If I have invited someone to stay then I do my best to make them welcome. We don't have any rules really, life is too short!

Our downstairs floor is lovely stone so no need to worry about it! We don't wear outdoor shoes upstairs but most people don't and just remove their shoes anyway. It's not the end of the world if they do go up in outdoor shoes though.

I wouldn't really expect anyone to ask me if they can open the window. If they want to open it, then it's fine! I certainly wouldn't be 'annoyed' by it. Unless of course there was a specific reason for the windows to not be open.

Smokers usually go outside but if yuk weather then they can smoke downstairs by the open fire or wood burners.

We just say to guests to make themselves at home and when they do, we feel pleased because they feel comfortable and relaxed in our home

Valli

MrsDrink wrote: »

I think our only rule is no smoking.

I don't even apply that rule -mainly because there's no one in my family/friends circle who does smoke!

tayforth

I have no rules except no smoking, and I wouldn't relax that for anyone, be it family, friends or the Queen. Even if it's lashing rain, they can go outside!

Apart from that, I'm SUPER relaxed and hospitable

marisco_2

I believe in being hospitable to guests and go out of my way to enable people who visit me and come into my home to feel comfy, relaxed and at ease. I am like this partly because I was always made to feel unwelcomed by my grandmother, as were most of my relatives, and I realised from an early age how lonely and isolated her approach made her. I vowed that would never be me.

I am a very sociable person and consider myself very fortunate to have a large circle of friends and a great family. More often than not someone is dropping in and spending time with me and my sons. If they want a window open or any other request that doesn't majorly put me out then that is cool with me.

lostinrates

Valli wrote: »

I don't even apply that rule -mainly because there's no one in my family/friends circle who does smoke!

Quite. It's only arisen twice here. One was a fellow mse-er who was horrified I had offered to let her smoke in my sitting room and instead went to the front door and we left the sitting room door open and chatted.

A regular visitor smokes but never in my house.

In theory I have no objection to people, for example, lighting up after a dinner party inside (away from non smoking guests) rather than out in pouring rain and misery. In practise it just hasn't arisen as an issue.

maman

It's strange how the 'no shoes' rule seems to be spreading. It's not something I've ever done and I find it strange when people arrive and take off their shoes because it's what they do in their own homes. I tell them not to but it seems an ingrained habit. Probably to do with keeping fitted carpets clean I suppose??

Personally, while I want guests to feel comfortable I wouldn't expect them to presume at all. If they stay over then I'd expect them to open a bedroom window but I'd be surprised if they started opening downstairs windows without asking. My friend stayed last week and she told me she'd opened the bedroom window, not because I'd mind but so that I would remember to close it again if I went out.

Taking a shower isn't an issue. I put out towels and we're all courteous enough to wait our turn until the bathroom's free. If someone had to leave early for work or something then we'd make it clear they needed to be first.

Generally I'd expect guests not to do anything until asked but my idea of being a good host is to ask them if they want food/drink etc. etc.

That being said, I have been a guest at other people's houses where, for example, I've felt cold but I wouldn't dream of turning up the heating. IMO it's not the same as being in a hotel where you're 'paying the piper'.

P.S. My brother obviously feels differently. He once came to stay and when he'd left I noticed that he'd retuned my radios to Radio 1:mad: he also asks to watch cr*p reality TV programmes and drops big hints that he wants his supper much earlier than he knows we normally eat. But he's my brother and we're not going to fall out over petty things so I ignore it but I do think he lacks social graces.

peachyprice

I can't imagine opening windows in anyone else's house other than a room I was sleeping in, would people really do that?

I don't get the no shoes rule either, and TBH, I wouldn't want to sit smelling people's feet, especially if I didn't know them very well, I'd much rather they keep their shoes on.

Counting_Pennies_2

Perhaps it smells a little different to what they are used to.

Or maybe they are pregnant. I was repelled by the nicest smells when pregnant. I couldn't even open the larder cupboard as the smell of earl grey tea sent me heaving.

I would generally be very flexible and would not feel the need to impose my rules over windows etc. If they are feeling hot, cold, ready to heave for whatever reason, I would generally wish to accommodate their needs. After all hosting to me is looking after them.