etiquette at family homes

bagpussbear

I also won't let anyone smoke in my house, but never had to say that really as I've never had an impolite visitor that would presume to do so.

I am quite relaxed about doing things a different way for the comfort of my visitors, within reason. I tend to feel the cold more than others, but understand others can feel hot so tend to have the heating on less/off if it suits others.

pesky85

Smoking is an outside affair come rain or shine. I have smokers as friends and family (even I smoke after a couple of vinos!) but have never had to ask anyone not to smoke in the house. I think it's just the norm nowadays to go outside to smoke?

Shoes stay on in our house, we don't have carpet downstairs.

I would always want to make a guest feel comfortable in my house so don't have any rules as such.

Two things though - I prefer people to ask me before giving my children sweets they've brought round or before feeding my dogs scraps (eg if I have people over for food). Again, all my friends have the courtesy to ask anyway so it's not been an issue yet.

thegirlintheattic

We don't really have proper rules. We take our shoes off out of habit but would not make a guest do this as we have no carpet downstairs and it doesn't bother us. I think the only rule we have is no smoking but none of our friends/family smoke so it's a non-starter.

We are very relaxed and pretty much have a my casa is su casa attitude to guests (all of whom are close family and friends).

valk_scot

I have a no outdoor shoes rule here and I know quite a few other folk that do too. After all who wants outside dirt and germs tracked all over their house, and sharp heels grinding into laminate or carpet? On the other hand I have a foot problem that means it's very uncomfortable for me to walk around without supportive footwear, so I take my own strictly indoor shoes (flat soles, non marking) with me if I'm visiting and ask politely if they mind me slipping them on? I've only had one person say no to that, which I went with. But I was a bit miffed tbh, it made life awkward for me as I had to sit down more than normal. So while rules are fine, you do sometimes have to use a bit of common sense. And if it was a 50:50 call I'd say go with the guest's wants to help them feel more at home.

No smoking though, that's a health issue and non negotiable. I did have one uncle who moaned and groaned and whinged about this for an entire afternoon even though we have a perfectly nice sheltered bench in the garden, complete with ashtray, and I was six months pregnant. Did I allow myself to be whinged into submission even when my aunt and mum joined in? Hah...not in my lifetime, that's all I can say. The poor sod died of lung cancer five years later btw.

pollypenny

No rules here either. We change into slippers when we come in, although that tends to fade in the Summer when I'm wearing flip flops or Birkenstocks.

I wouldn't expect anyone to open a window if they were too hot and let expensive heat out. The heating is probably about to go off.

On the other hand, I'd never dream of asking someone to take off their shoes, if I'm not providing them with slippers. Which I am not. Friends are more important than carpets.

pigpen

My outlaws go outside to smoke when I am at their house!! they usually just light up in the house. I also go around and close their windows in the rooms the children and I sleep in and the bathroom... so long as it isn't steamed up of course.. same as I do at home.

I don't bend rules for visitors in my house.. smokers are banished outside.. it prompted OH to stop .. it gets a bit chilly out there in winter Children are not allowed drinks out of the kitchen.. I can't stand wet bits on the carpet so if they cannot be trusted not to spill drinks are had in the kitchen! No food outside of the kitchen/garden. I don't have drinking of alcohol around the children either.

Oh.. and my best house rule... you can make yourself a cuppa so long as you make me one too .. this usually only applies to my siblings and offspring..

Thankfully I have few visitors as they also make me incredibly uncomfortable.

lostinrates

pollypenny wrote: »

No rules here either. We change into slippers when we come in, although that tends to fade in the Summer when I'm wearing flip flops or Birkenstocks.

I wouldn't expect anyone to open a window if they were too hot and let expensive heat out. The heating is probably about to go off.

On the other hand, I'd never dream of asking someone to take off their shoes, if I'm not providing them with slippers. Which I am not. Friends are more important than carpets.

The carpet/shoe thing comes up relatively often here, and I think the situation is such that the two sides will never agree on the various drawbacks and benefits of shoes to no shoes.


We recently bought a carpet cleaner, and it makes me feel better about everything. Tbh, I really don't care what other people do about shoes in my house if their feet are healthy, but If I were other peoe between my three dogs, two cats and people running in and out on shoes and barefooted, I very much doubt the cleanliness line washes here with removing shoes .....peoe probably pick up all sorts of muck on their feet and put them on the inside of their shoes and 'pollute' their own homes and others with my carpet filth

delain

Another one who doesn't like people in the house

Smoking outside is non negotiable. My house is a non smoking house!

I make children (whove likely been running through muck) take off shoes.

That's about it really I think.

mummyroysof3

I try to be accommodating as I like people to feel welcome. The only person who stays here really is my mum and she just mucks in.

neverdespairgirl

I have no strong feelings about shoes either way. I usually wear slippers or flip flops or barefeet indoors myself, but couldn't care less about what other people do, so long as they are happy.

I think smoking etiquette has probably changed - I've never had anyone light up in our flat with or without asking, and I'd be quite suprised if any visitor did light up out of the blue. I wouldn't be happy about it, though, because we've got a 7 year old.

I don't think we have any rules at all about windows, TVs or similar. Very relaxed, we are - visitors are welcome to do as they please, so long as they don't make a fuss about it!