So confused right now :(

sparkles22

He doesnt 'need' to move out persay. (Think thats the word) His parents are happy to have him living with him in their house. All hat would happen is that we would have to wait longer. But as I say, we are only 23.

paulineb_2

sparkles22 wrote: »

He doesnt 'need' to move out persay. (Think thats the word) His parents are happy to have him living with him in their house. All hat would happen is that we would have to wait longer. But as I say, we are only 23.

But if he turns down two council house offers, he might not get another one. For years. Unless he applies to another council and he might not get an offer from certain councils unless he has a local connection. Im actually wondering why, if you really wanted to wait for this other house issue to sort itself out why you and he have applied for a council house in the first place.

Because what sometimes happens when you put your name on the housing list, you'll get an offer quicker than you want and you might need to make a decision.

If you were happy with the way things are, why consider living together in the first place?

sparkles22

We were happy the things were. But when we were told about stepdads dad being put in a home and that we would get the flat we were really excited.The more we thought about it, the more excited we became

paulineb_2

sparkles22 wrote: »

We were happy the things were. But when we were told about stepdads dad being put in a home and that we would get the flat we were really excited.The more we thought about it, the more excited we became

Ok. But I assume when you say that the council contacted you out of the blue to offer you a house, that one of you had your name on the council housing list already?

Why didnt you just take your names off the list and wait for this flat to become available whenever that would be.

The bottom line is, you and your bf will have to make a decision pretty soon about whether you are going to accept this offer, or whether you arent.

What you do after that, where you live or whether you live together or not, entirely your decisions to make. (yours and his)

peachyprice

sparkles22 wrote: »

He doesnt 'need' to move out persay. (Think thats the word) His parents are happy to have him living with him in their house. All hat would happen is that we would have to wait longer. But as I say, we are only 23.

I have to ask, why on earth did you even bother applying for a council flat?

sparkles22

My name has been on the list since I was 17. I didn't think I was ever likely to be offered anything, and was happy enough to build up points. Also I waned to make sure I was seen as on the councils list so that when the time came, I would be able to be offered my mums flat

paulineb_2

sparkles22 wrote: »

My name has been on the list since I was 17. I didn't think I was ever likely to be offered anything, and was happy enough to build up points. Also I waned to make sure I was seen as on the councils list so that when the time came, I would be able to be offered my mums flat

I dont think that would have made a blind bit of difference to be honest, being on a list and being offered a tenancy arent the same thing.

You are going to have to weigh up your options soon, you'll only get a certain amount of time to accept or reject the councils offer and it will then be offered to the next person on the list

You either

1 Accept it as a couple (Im assuming youve made a joint application to the council)
2 You accept it
3 Your bf accepts it
4 or you turn the offer down

I actually think your mum and stepdad have been more than a bit hasty offering you their house when you have absolutely no idea if and when they are going to be moving on.

Its absolutely your choice, but if you dont view this place and either accept or reject it soon, the council will just give it to someone else and unless you have very good reason to turn it down you'll need to wait for another offer.

If the pair of you are happy at home fair enough, but as I said, you should be thinking of a plan B as to what you'll do should you knock this offer back and you dont have anywhere else to go apart from your respective parents.

sparkles22

I know they are not the same thing. In my 17 year old mind it made sense

We have already viewed the property, to let the housing officer know final answer by tomorrow. OH due home any minute ....

coolcait

sparkles22 wrote: »

However my boyfriend seems to think if we do not accept the offer of this new flat, it may turn out that it's not in fact possible for my mum to buy the other half of my stepdad'a dad's house, and then we would have no flat at all.

thank God someone in this story appears to have some commonsense.

Say we did take it and then everything worked out with the sale of the house; I would be kicking myself.

Why? You'd be in a council property, and able to 'exchange' with other council tenants - who just happen to be your mum and stepdad.

I think that's why the idea of taking on my mum's flat appeals to me; I would see it as 'mines', a security blanket of sorts.He says he doesn't think I want to live with him at all, I just want the security of my mum's flat which I will always see as mines, and he's just happening to move in.

I think your boyfriend has summed your position up perfectly. He wants a house which the two of you can call 'ours'; you want one which you can call 'mine'.

QUOTE]

Leaving aside the whole housing situation (most of which sounds like utter tosh - whether it's because you're making it up, or because someone else is feeding you a line) you simply do not sound ready to be in a relationship, or to move in with someone else.

You would firstly have to cut the apron strings - you don't sound anywhere near ready for that. Secondly, you would have to be able to trust and commit to anther person - you don't sound anywhere near that either.

In yet another extraordinary tale of housing, a young unmarried, childless, couple - who are both already accommodated by parents - have been offered a council property.

It's a shame that the one whose name is on the list isn't yet emotionally ready to take it; and the one who appears to be emotionally ready to take it isn't the one whose name is on the list.

shelley_crow

you don't need you mum approval. can't help but think that she is doing you a disservice in telling you to wait. has she got any understanding of the housing crisis at the moment?