So confused right now :(

paulineb_2

sparkles22 wrote: »

You have to be a resident of the property to be eligible for assignation. The reason my stepdad does not have full rights is that (I know I sound like a broken record), the lawyer didn't do his job properly. Things that should have been written weren't, sentences were left uncompleted... the whole thing was just a mess. My parent's lawyers have tried to contact the original one, with no luck as of yet. If everything had been done correctly, then he would have full rights, as he should have given that he paid in full for the house.

And I assume he has proof of the transaction he made for the house, what I mean is, there will be something, somewhere showing the money coming out of his bank account and only his?

sparkles22

Thank you Wicked Witch, you've hit the nail on the head.

I guess I see their flat as 'my' flat. If anything were to go wrong it would be mines. And this is what OH is saying. He thinks it's not the fear of taking this new flat or not, its the fear of moving in with him at all and trusting him 100%.

I do love him, so so much. But I was badly hurt in the past. I'm his first and only girlfriend so he doesn't know what it's like to be heartbroken, homeless as a result of this, and have to learn how to trust again.

No-one can put their hand on their heart and guarantee that in 20, 30 years they will still feel the same. It is this inability to know 100% for sure how things will turn out, and having to put 100% of my trust in him that scares me

Wicked_witch

The last couple of paragraphs of the post are about how she moved in with a partner before and was left feeling vulnerable and now sees her parent's flat as a 'comfort blanket' which she can feel she owns, while the boyfriend feels he'd be moving into 'her' flat, rather than into 'theirs'.

sparkles22

He bought the property outright in cash, so no mortgage.
Because he paid in cash, there are records of a sum of money leaving his account, but no record of where it went if you see what I mean?

paulineb_2

sparkles22 wrote: »

Thank you Wicked Witch, you've hit the nail on the head.

I guess I see their flat as 'my' flat. If anything were to go wrong it would be mines. And this is what OH is saying. He thinks it's not the fear of taking this new flat or not, its the fear of moving in with him at all and trusting him 100%.

I do love him, so so much. But I was badly hurt in the past. I'm his first and only girlfriend so he doesn't know what it's like to be heartbroken, homeless as a result of this, and have to learn how to trust again.

No-one can put their hand on their heart and guarantee that in 20, 30 years they will still feel the same. It is this inability to know 100% for sure how things will turn out, and having to put 100% of my trust in him that scares me

Well maybe you shouldnt move in with him right now. But I think if you are having serious wobbles about moving in with him, consider letting him take the house the pair of you are going to be offered as his own tenancy and you wait for the house that might come your way eventually.

There are no guarantees in this life, but hes going to lose opportunities of housing because you arent sure you want to live with him in a joint tenancy.

Also, I appreciate you saying that the other house would be yours, but if you and your bf split up and hes in that home, hes going to be insecure housing wise the same way you were when you split with your ex partner. I dont think its wise to think about living with someone when one person is secure in the tenancy and the other person wont be.

Wicked_witch

I feel that your anger with the lawyer etc is covering up your worries about making yourself vulnerable again (not meaning to sound like Deanna Troi, sorry!) and it's understandable. No one here can tell you if you should move in with your boyfriend, but I think when you talk to him about it that needs to be the angle- not how badly the solicitor has messed up. he's not going to see that as relevant, because it isn't really.

Edit, I think paulineb's suggestion is well worth considering as it's not only you who could end up homeless if things don't work out.

FatVonD

sparkles22 wrote: »

He bought the property outright in cash, so no mortgage.
Because he paid in cash, there are records of a sum of money leaving his account, but no record of where it went if you see what I mean?

I see. Unfortunately I don't think that will count for anything, even if he had evidence of it being transferred to his parents account or even to the council as it could still be construed that he was buying it for them, unless his name is on the deeds and it's just the wills that have been coked up?

How do the siblings feel, were they aware of what was going on and will they be prepared to hand over their 'inheritance'?

paulineb_2

sparkles22 wrote: »

He bought the property outright in cash, so no mortgage.
Because he paid in cash, there are records of a sum of money leaving his account, but no record of where it went if you see what I mean?

The landlord that he purchased the house from have no record of it being sold to him? Surely there is a trace of that house being sold from their end?

sparkles22

One brother lives overseas- he has assured us he sees the house as my stepdads and doesn't want the money. The other brother sadly passed away a few years ago. His son who is 21 I think will get his share, but again he has assured us he doesn't want the money. The lawyer is drawing up papers for them to sign to this effect. His sister however is another matter. She has dollar signs in her eyes and absolutely wants 'her share'.

sparkles22

I do want to move in with OH, very much so. I just really really really wanted that flat which is already decorated and with all the furniture in it. Its my family home, and I do see it as mines