What age is appropriate for child to play at friend's house?

neverdespairgirl

I took my son (aged 7) and a school friend of his to the Tower of London today. Friend is also 7, coming up to 8, and they are in Year 3 at the same school.

I've met his mother once, and not met his father at all, before today. Both parents have met OH, and the mother's met our nanny regularly.

When I emailed them and suggested it, they thought it was a great idea, and what time did I want infant to come?

They seemed to think I could manage to shepherd both boys on the tube, round the Tower of London, home, feed them both dinner, and despatch infant home again with OH without anyone coming to any harm.

Infant's knees are covered in grass stains, and he added quite a bit of rice to his T-shirt, but other than that, all was well.

Should I have enclosed an enhanced criminal records check PDF with my email? Or a risk assessment of walking to the tube station?

Spendless

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I took my son (aged 7) and a school friend of his to the Tower of London today. Friend is also 7, coming up to 8, and they are in Year 3 at the same school.

I've met his mother once, and not met his father at all, before today. Both parents have met OH, and the mother's met our nanny regularly.

When I emailed them and suggested it, they thought it was a great idea, and what time did I want infant to come?

They seemed to think I could manage to shepherd both boys on the tube, round the Tower of London, home, feed them both dinner, and despatch infant home again with OH without anyone coming to any harm.

Infant's knees are covered in grass stains, and he added quite a bit of rice to his T-shirt, but other than that, all was well.

Should I have enclosed an enhanced criminal records check PDF with my email? Or a risk assessment of walking to the tube station?

Yes! The Tower of London.: What if you'd accidentally time-travelled back to 1483 and the boys looked like siblings.:eek: Ok, I'm being daft now, but it tells us there was possibly dubious relatives even back then.

skintchick

Op, I also thought when I read your post that you were talking about a young child, and as my DD is 3 I was thinking "yeah I'd let her go" so to find out your child is 8 made me a bit google eyed.

What are you so scared of? As fluffnutter has said, can you get some help for your anxiety? Eight is a good age to be getting independent and doing new things.

Pigeongirl

Thanks for the replies, they are appreciated.

Without going into too much detail I did have a bad experience as a child and so I think that's made me over-cautious with my son.

I've sent a text to the mum confirming my son will be going to play tomorrow and I'm going to do some gardening to keep busy so I don't worry so much!

neverdespairgirl

Spendless wrote: »

Yes! The Tower of London.: What if you'd accidentally time-travelled back to 1483 and the boys looked like siblings.:eek: Ok, I'm being daft now, but it tells us there was possibly dubious relatives even back then.

Actually, they looked scarily like siblings - both fair-haired, tall, and thin!

FBaby

Have you considered giving your son an old mobile to keep in his bag and tell him in a very lightweight tone that this way he can call you if anything happens (I would add like for instance you get very bored), but he will get it that he can contact you if he is worried about anything?

fluffnutter

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

My post is based on my own experiences and sorry but you can't be TOO careful. I know all too well.
I'm not about to forget my own upbringing and choices just so my daughter can have 'freedom' willy nilly at such a young age.

Sounds like you made some bad choices when you were younger. And now you're punishing your daughter for those choices. She deserves a childhood that doesn't carry the legacy of your past.

All kids should have freedom - appropriate to their age and maturity, but freedom nonetheless. It's what makes us adults who can cope with life.

Spendless

Glad you're letting him go Pigeongirl and yes keep yourself busy so you're not dwelling and worrying whilst he's out. The first time is always going to be the hardest, after that you build up from there and seek help if historic events are causing you anxiety.

dibuzz

I'm so glad you are letting him go.
My mum and dad wouldn't let me go anywhere and it has affected me badly.
I wasn't allowed to go to the school I should have after passing the 11 plus as it was a 20 minute bus ride away, they would have let me go to the comprehensive as that had it's own bus and when I said it wasn't fair as I had earned my place my mum got me in at the school she worked in which was a bad move for me as I knew nobody and found it hard to make friends as we lived too far away for them to visit me or me to visit them and the old friends I had didn't bother with me as they had different interests at their new school.
I'm now 50 and don't have a single friend, I never go anywhere and suffer badly from depression and anxiety.
You are doing the right thing for your son by letting him go.

cutestkids

Glad you are letting him go to play, hope he has a lot of fun, and hope you are Ok come back and let us know how it went.