What age is appropriate for child to play at friend's house?

Pigeongirl

I'm aware I may be over-protective of my child so I'm interested in other people's opinions on this!

My son is eight years old and has played at friends' houses when I know the parents but a mum of one of his classmates has asked if he'd like to go and play tomorrow and I'm not sure whether to agree or not.

I have spoken with her a few times and she seems like a nice lady but I don't know her family at all.

I'm terrified that they won't supervise the children properly, that my son will get hurt or worse and then I'd never forgive myself for letting him go.

My son, of course, is desperate to go and doesn't understand my hesitation!

I know I'm a worrier but my son is EVERYTHING to me and I'm terrified of losing him. However, I don't want to stifle him.

Help!

meer53

Let him go. Everyone worries about their children.

JohnnyJet

Are you able to go with him?

Pigeongirl

JohnnyJet wrote: »

Are you able to go with him?

I could but the invitation was for my son and not me so I'd feel I was imposing.

divadee

It is understandable to be worried if you do not know the family well but i say let him go. He's 8 years old and will have a great time with his friend.

pigpen

Don't go with him!! he'll be laughed at for the rest of his life!!

Look at it like this.. she has raised her son to the same age as yours.. if she was letting them do dangerous things he would be injured or lost by now! I have explained to mums before that mine do not play in the street but that is all, I have never said no apart from one occasion when the girl in question was roaming the streets at all hours unsupervised from about 6 or 7.. quite normal maybe in their culture but not safe in ours.

Children get hurt it is called growing up!

If you don't let him go places now with other adults/friends how will he ever learn to be independent?

fluffnutter

If she's nice, then chances are so are all her family. We all worry about our children, but it's our responsibility to teach them to be independent, self-sufficient people. We're doing them a disservice if we don't. You know you're being a little OTT here. Let him go. Sure, you'll not relax until he's home, safe and sound. But he will be. You've got to let him spread his wings, sweetie.

fluffnutter

Pigeongirl wrote: »

... my son is EVERYTHING to me and I'm terrified of losing him. However, I don't want to stifle him.

Help!

I don't want to labour the point - God knows, I bet you're doing your absolute best and love your boy to bits. But being EVERYTHING to your parent is an enormous responsibility for a little boy. If you're unhappy, he's going to think he's done something wrong.

Are you on your own, Pigeongirl?

*max*

I thought you were going to say he's 3...But he's 8 years old, it's not only appropriate, it's perfectly normal and very healthy! As long as the other mum isn't a serial killer or a lunatic, I can't see why you should not let him go. It'll be good for him.

JohnnyJet

pigpen wrote: »

Don't go with him!! he'll be laughed at for the rest of his life!!

Good point, mine aren't quite that age. It will depend on whether you trust this person. I'm the same but you just have to use your judgement sometimes.

I remember being allowed out with friends at 8, but I lived in a small village.

sparrer

Agree, let him go and play, he's a child and that's what they do. But certainly not with Mum watching their every move. A very true saying is - let go of the apron strings and they'll never leave you, tie them to you and they'll fight to get away. Hope he enjoys his play-date