What age is appropriate for child to play at friend's house?

cazziebo

sparrer wrote: »

A very true saying is - let go of the apron strings and they'll never leave you, tie them to you and they'll fight to get away.

Too true! My 8 yr old daughter flew as an unaccompanied minor to Canada, and then went off with two of her cousins for a week's summer camp.

Now nearly 21 and no sign of moving out....:rotfl:

shellsuit

So long as you know the parent and know their address, I don't see the problem?

Let him go and make the most of it while he's gone and relax!

Spendless

Has something traumatic happened in the past pigeongirl for you to be anxious? I too thought you were talking about a younger child, but he must be yr 3 or even 4, into the Junior school years. He wants to go let him, it'll be a couple of hours at the most.

cazziebo wrote: »

Too true! My 8 yr old daughter flew as an unaccompanied minor to Canada, and then went off with two of her cousins for a week's summer camp.

Now nearly 21 and no sign of moving out....:rotfl:

We have the opposite example in our family, sis-in-law would never let neice do anything for fear she'd hurt herself or something would happen. I was convinced she'd be back home after a month at Uni unable to cope, a friends mum predicted instead she'd not come back. That turned out to be true she is finishing her studies, has a job lined up in a diff city and made it quite clear she won't be returning 'home.' She's even keeping it quiet from her Mum that she's having driving lessons.:D

cutestkids

How much supervision do you think is needed at this age, most little boys will be quite happy to play without very much adult intervention.

You say you do not know the family but how will you or your son ever get to know people if you stop him from going to play at friends houses.

My two have been playing at other peoples houses and have had friends over since they were about 4 years old.

Some of the parents I knew well others I did not know at all, your son is getting to an age where he will want to start making his own friends and do things without you,
I think if this is causing you so much anxiety you should really be looking at the reasons why and more to the point what you can do about it.

fluffnutter

cutestkids wrote: »

I think if this is causing you so much anxiety you should really be looking at the reasons why and more to the point what you can do about it.

It's true, Pigeongirl. Your reaction is extreme. But you know that, don't you?

Come back and post some more and let us know what's going on.

FBaby

Are there specific things you are worried he could do that could put him in danger or is it a case of separation anxiety?

You know your child best. Maybe your child doesn't have the same maturity as the average child, and I could understand you being worried about that friend not being usually as supervised as yours. If he otherwise mature for his age, then I think you need to accept that it is time he starts to do things without you.

I remember the first time my 9 and 12 year old got on the train on their own. When I saw the train pulled out, I felt such the urge to ask the train to be stopped as it felt so wrong to see them going without me, but I knew it was a normal reaction due to the transition. A year later, I now don't even wait until they are on the train before I go.

happy35

i would let him go, you have met her and she seems nice so I would go with your instinct

If her own son is well behaved and well looked after there is nothing for you to worry about - I am a worrier so would still worry but there isnt anythign to worry about

At 8 your son wont need constant supervisions just someone keeping an eye out for him, if she didnt want to do that she wouldnt have asked him

lika_86

If you do let him go (and you should), if something does happen and your son does get hurt, don't necessarily blame the other mother (unless there's obvious evidence it was her fault), at tht age, accidents will happen and often no amount of supervision would prevent it.

When we were little a friend broke her wrist falling off our slide, it was nobody's fault and her mum accepted it as one of those things that happened and could have just as easily happened in her garden as ours.

Kids will get hurt and that's a part of life. Things like the April Jones case reporting demonise the idea of leaving children without super close supervision and it's unfortunate when such things happen but it's not common and short of locking up your children entirely, they can't be prevented.

jellyhead

My 7 year old is a mummy's boy, and he wouldn't go to friends houses without me. The mums usually have other children to see to, dinner to make, things to be getting on with etc. so unless they had time to sit and have a coffee with me they would invite a different child over instead - one who was confident about leaving him mum's side. It's led to fewer invitations, but now that he's 7 he will go on his own, but only to houses where I have been before and know the mum very well.

I'm now finding that the other kids are in cliques that are used to playing together, walking to each others houses, going home with each other after sporting events or cinema, and my boy is on the outside of this. The invitations dried up by the end of reception year as although he's popular in school the mums just don't think of him as a child to invite anywhere because he's so clingy. They invite us both on days out, but I wish I'd tried to persuade him to leave my side a bit earlier on.

Your boy will be fine, and will probably love going. Make sure you know their address and have their phone number and them yours. Arrange a time and how he will get home, and say that he is not allowed to play in the street unsupervised, then you needn't worry that they are going to the park on their own.

balletshoes

to answer you original question OP, with mine, I let her go to friend's houses to play without me from the time she was 4 and in reception year at school. I always took her there or picked her up, and I always swapped phone number and address with the friend's parent before the playdate.

If you have met the mum and the child and they seem nice and normal, then theres no reason not to let him go play with them.