What age is appropriate for child to play at friend's house?

ValHaller

Pigeongirl wrote: »

I'm terrified that they won't supervise the children properly, that my son will get hurt or worse and then I'd never forgive myself for letting him go.

At some stage you have to switch from a mode of not letting him go unless you are absolutely convinced to a mode of letting them go unless you know a good reason not to let them go. I think you should already have made the switch.

At a later stage, you will get no say in where and when he goes nor with whom. Managing the switch well now will make him confident and leave him more receptive later on when he is beginning to make his own judgements than he would be if he gets hold of the idea that you are riven with anxiety.

fluffnutter

ValHaller wrote: »

At a later stage, you will get no say in where and when he goes nor with whom. Managing the switch well now will make him confident and leave him more receptive later on when he is beginning to make his own judgements than he would be if he gets hold of the idea that you are riven with anxiety.

Absolutely true. Giving him small freedoms now will help keep him safe later on, Pigeongirl. He needs to learn how to assess risk himself, and for that he needs you to loosen the ties a little.

Kayalana99

Afaird I don't know how old I was but it primary school my Mum didn't want me to let me go to a friends house on the school bus.

She asked me if I *wanted* her to drive me and tbh the bus was something new so I said I would prefer to get the bus.

I got on the bus with my friend only for another girl from my school run up the bus and say Hey is your mum following the bus?!

Yep. She followed the Bus all the way to my friends house.

I never forgot.

ognum

OP the first think I would say is does your child want to go? Does he play with this child at school?

It would seem a great shame to me to restrict your sons social life because of your anxieties. I am sure you are aware that your anxieties will effect your son and his future relationships.

I would take a deep breath and let him go, leave your phone number and arrange to pick him up and then invite the other child to your house.

MarilynMonroe_2

If I didnt know the family no way would I be letting my daughter go alone at that age.
I'm probably over protective too but tough, she's my priority. I'd have to know who would be there, would there be dogs, htings like that. These days you cant be too careful. Even back in my day you couldnt be too careful and I ende dup in some dodgey situtations but my parents didnt give a toss were I was.

fluffnutter

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

These days you cant be too careful.

What does that mean?

OK, I'm being rhetorical. But seriously, this kind of throwaway, ill-thought through sentence irritates me. What is it about 'these days' that makes them any less safe than 'those days'? This kind of paranoid, media-fuelled thinking just keeps parents fearful and their poor kids stuck indoors. No wonder our kids are the unhappiest in Europe. They're not allowed any freedom!

If anything children are safer now than they've ever been at any point in history.

balletshoes

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

If I didnt know the family no way would I be letting my daughter go alone at that age.
I'm probably over protective too but tough, she's my priority. I'd have to know who would be there,
would there be dogs,
htings like that. These days you cant be too careful. Even back in my day you couldnt be too careful and I ende dup in some dodgey situtations but my parents didnt give a toss were I was.

is your child scared of/allergic to dogs? And you wouldn't let her go to a playdate with a friend from school at the age of 8?

MarilynMonroe_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

What does that mean?

OK, I'm being rhetorical. But seriously, this kind of throwaway, ill-thought through sentence irritates me. What is it about 'these days' that makes them any less safe than 'those days'? This kind of paranoid, media-fuelled thinking just keeps parents fearful and their poor kids stuck indoors. No wonder our kids are the unhappiest in Europe. They're not allowed any freedom!

If anything children are safer now than they've ever been at any point in history.

My post is based on my own experiences and sorry but you can't be TOO careful. I know all too well.
I'm not about to forget my own upbringing and choices just so my daughter can have 'freedom' willy nilly at such a young age.

MarilynMonroe_2

balletshoes wrote: »

is your child scared/allergic to dogs? And you wouldn't let her go to a playdate with a friend from school at the age of 8?

Not if we didnt know them no. Just because someone is a parent should you feel safe to send your kids to them? The lady in the OP said she doesnt know them, they are strangers at the end of the day.

balletshoes

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

My post is based on my own experiences and sorry but you can't be TOO careful. I know all too well.
I'm not about to forget my own upbringing and choices just so my daughter can have 'freedom' willy nilly at such a young age.

and theres no middle road between the "not caring" attitude of your parents, and your own one now?