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Mean with money

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Comments

  • C_Mababejive
    C_Mababejive Posts: 11,668 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Well after 6 years maybe its run its course ? Cut loose and live again...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj10EzNKA2M
    Feudal Britain needs land reform. 70% of the land is "owned" by 1 % of the population and at least 50% is unregistered (inherited by landed gentry). Thats why your slave box costs so much..
  • Carlos77
    Carlos77 Posts: 154 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    Me and the OH have separate finances. I significantly more than she does, so i pay all the bills, food etc, and any big items, such as furniture, holidays etc. She works full time in a professional job and other than her petrol costs she has no expenses. She has a reasonable net income, but my spare money is still more than this.
    If we shared our finances, it would in effect mean me paying all the bills and subsidising her wage too, and I think get demoralised by doing this!
  • geoffky
    geoffky Posts: 6,835 Forumite
    Carlos77 wrote: »
    If we shared our finances, it would in effect mean me paying all the bills and subsidising her wage too, and I think get demoralised by doing this!

    Why? We have joint accounts and i put in a high six figure sum in after two years of marriage...I would of not had it any other way as i was committed to our relationship...She now earns more than me as i retired when i got the money... Its a partnership not a go it alone deal..
    It is nice to see the value of your house going up'' Why ?
    Unless you are planning to sell up and not live anywhere, I can;t see the advantage.
    If you are planning to upsize the new house will cost more.
    If you are planning to downsize your new house will cost more than it should
    If you are trying to buy your first house its almost impossible.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Carlos77 wrote: »
    If we shared our finances, it would in effect mean me paying all the bills and subsidising her wage too, and I think get demoralised by doing this!
    geoffky wrote: »
    Why? Its a partnership not a go it alone deal..

    Like geoffky, we've had times when one of us has earned more than the other, times when one needed extra support in other ways and times when we've been approximately equal but we're not two people living together - we're a team sharing our lives. Whatever is earned is "ours" rather than "his" and "hers".

    Unlike Carlos, if I was earning a lot more than my OH and was stashing my savings away or spending my money on stuff my OH couldn't afford, I'd feel awful.

    Couples who always use the "you have to pay your way" system have more difficulties when life throws problems at them - it's worth thinking about how you would deal with one partner not earning - ill-health, pregnancy, childcare (which could be either partner), redundancy, retiring, etc. Are you then going to fully support your partner or will you be "loaning" them money and expecting the debt to be paid back?
  • duckeggblue
    duckeggblue Posts: 439 Forumite
    edited 6 May 2013 at 8:38PM
    From what you have said, this is a controlling man.Get out.This behaviour is of a spoilt child, not a grown man.That you are feeling you are having to justify yourself is a big warning sign, controlling men can be nice sometimes, but usually only until they get you where they want you .Watch for the pattern.
    If you don't leap, you'll never know what it is to fly :heartpuls
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