When friends split up

Mojisola

CH27 wrote: »

Invite both.

If you don't invite him she will think she has won & she has no right to dictate who you invite.

That would be okay if stuckinthemiddle's wife was happy with it but she wants her friend to stay her friend and doesn't want to upset her.

CH27

Mojisola wrote: »

That would be okay if stuckinthemiddle's wife was happy with it but she wants her friend to stay her friend and doesn't want to upset her.

I know, but no way would I let anyone dictate to me.

Mojisola

CH27 wrote: »

I know, but no way would I let anyone dictate to me.

Well, stuckinthemiddle's wife might not like him dictating to her that they should invite both people.

CH27

Mojisola wrote: »

Well, stuckinthemiddle's wife might not like him dictating to her that they should invite both people.

If we are doing that why should she dictate to him?

Mojisola

CH27 wrote: »

If we are doing that why should she dictate to him?

Neither should dictate - they need to come to a compromise.

Pechow

How likely is it that the bloke would come to your child's party if he doesn't have kids himself?

You could ask him first, he'll probably say "thanks, but no thanks". Then when you invite the woman, if (when?) she asks if he was invited, you can say, "yes, but he decided it wasn't for him and he isn't coming". That way she can come, but you've also made it clear you aren't picking sides, that you invited both of them.

If she reads into it as "asked him first and he said no so we asked you second" there's not much you can do about that though. Just make it clear both were asked.

heartbreak_star

Invite both - the woman really does sound like a petty creature who needs to grow up.

Has she really moved on?

HBS x

Mojisola

I hope stuckinthemiddle lets us know what they finally decide to do.

victory

I agree with invite them both

stuckinthemiddle123

Yeah - I think he wouldn't mind not going, but wouldn't want to be excluded from all future events. I am seeing him on Saturday, so I will have a word with him then, be honest with him, explain the situation, and let him know that him and his new partner are more than welcome round any other time. After all, he did come to the christening and she didn't.

Then if anyone asks I will say that both were invited, but he couldn't make it.

Just annoyed that it is me that has to be the bigger person and compromise - but at least that way everyone will be ok. I just hope that in the future we don't encounter similary issues - maybe at the party I can have a friendly chat to her and judge if she would ever feel differently - seeing as my wife won't rock the boat..