How to stop being misunderstood...

peachyprice

victory wrote: »

Seriously creepy? Why? All DS lads and their gf etc have always been more than welcome, best to be welcoming than tell them to not come round? We have a right laugh when they come round for footie,boxing or guitar nights etc, why not? It is great for DS to know he can have anyone around at anytime and feel comfortable and happy in his own home.

Making friends and girlfriends welcome and your son knowing that he can always have people around is entirley the different from what you are doing with his GF. You don't have to try to be their friends just to make them feel welcome. All my son's friends are welcome, they know that, I chat to them and feed them, but I really don't try to get in on their act.

At 18 I would have felt that you were trying to be my friend or mother (of which you are neither) and trying too hard to make me part of the family, at the tender age of 18 I was in no way ready to settle down and become anyone's life partner and would have been freaked at my a boyfriends mother treating me like I were his wife or her friend. That is what I would have found creepy.

Errata

victory wrote: »

I am happy with what DS and I have chatted about, not to let it escalate and that is what this was about, nipping it in the bud, so we shall, it makes life easier if I have been misunderstood, done or said something wrong to be told immediately so it does not go on and through the social networking/old friends etc all that I have said before really, there really is nothing more to say.:D:D

What changes do you plan to make your behaviour? It's an old saw, but a very true one: you can't change someone else's behaviour, but if you change yours they may change theirs.

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

Making friends and girlfriends welcome and your son knowing that he can always have people around is entirley the different from what you are doing with his GF. You don't have to try to be their friends just to make them feel welcome. All my son's friends are welcome, they know that, I chat to them and feed them, but I really don't try to get in on their act.

At 18 I would have felt that you were trying to be my friend or mother (of which you are neither) and trying too hard to make me part of the family, at the tender age of 18 I was in no way ready to settle down and become anyone's life partner and would have been freaked at my a boyfriends mother treating me like I were his wife or her friend. That is what I would have found creepy.

I still sometimes miss the mother of my first boyfriend who I was with from 15-17. There's no reason why it can't be a close and wonderful relationship if it develops naturally and it makes both parties happier. Yes, I do think part of it was that she would have loved to have a daughter, but me meeting that need for a bit didn't affect my relationship with my own mum, and you can never have too many friends and people who care about you. Its not always creepy.

olibrofiz

Post deleted, it was boring claptrap, and ironic, given the title

EDIT: I shall endeavour to NOT post on anything, in any forum, that is on anything but page 1. I !!! I only come on here every couple of days, I didn't know that was the MSE rule

Pearlstar

I have only just read this too and to me the fact you are not on Facebook speaks volumes, she thinks you cannot see what she is posting and is creating her own mini soap opera! Why not join FB yourself, I bet if you did she would soon stop her little games!

balletshoes

Pearlstar wrote: »

I have only just read this too and to me the fact you are not on Facebook speaks volumes, she thinks you cannot see what she is posting and is creating her own mini soap opera!
Why not join FB yourself, I bet if you did she would soon stop her little games!

I don't think she would - she would just carry on as loads of youngsters do on there, oblivious, and then Victory might feel the need to publicly get into the drama on FB as well!