Bullying

wheezy57

paulineb wrote: »

Its hard to let something go when you are still on the receiving end of poor treatment.

Yes, I agree. Vulnerable, raw, hurt, angry, dispirited, no confidence anymore (although you wouldnt know it as I am naturally an extrovert) and noone in management in work seems to get it all..

wheezy57

prestonisidore wrote: »

Bullies are the person who experienced bullying. They take revenged for themselves. Don't be afraid, stay stong man have a self motivation. I know its a risk challenge for you now, go on and let go of them.

I am not sure about your post here!! I dont get it....

ILW

What evidence is there of bullying?
So far seems to be a matter of "looks" and "comments".

Dogger69

wheezy57 wrote: »

My working life is totally out of my control.

Your working life is completely within your control, but you are intent on pursuing something that you are never going to win.

Lith

Fight the good fight, take no !!!! AT ALL - i had this crap when i was 16, and i fought back even got one guy fired never felt soooo proud,

now anyone tries to start on me i make sure im a person you don't !!!! around with.

Remember... first impressions on other employers can see if a person is weak or strong.


- intelligence is power violence isn't the key here.

wheezy57

Dogger69 wrote: »

Your working life is completely within your control, but you are intent on pursuing something that you are never going to win.

I am not sure if you have read some of my posts but I have always said I am not in this situation to win anything. I am intent on this woman stopping her behaviour - thats the 'intent'.

My working life is at the moment not in my control at all as there are things going on in the background without my knowledge that two managers have hinted at. In other words - or rather reading between the lines - they would have me just put up and shut up.

Bullying is not always poking, pushing, prodding and physical bad behaviour. I found that after reading the bullyonline info I had been subjected to all sorts of under current systematic tactics that bullies use - without realising it - until the straw that broke the camels back last week. It has all become crystal clear now.

It is hugely naive of me to now think - why didnt I realise what was going on - it was subversive, pernicious, calculated, tactical (!) and executed in a way that only a bully could act this way.

I dont feel proud of what I am doing. I feel sick at the thought of what is ahead of me. But hey - she has to be stopped - but I doubt she will be. It will all be swept under the carpet as always until the next time....

ILW

Just let it wash over you and ignore it.

wheezy57

ILW wrote: »

What evidence is there of bullying?
So far seems to be a matter of "looks" and "comments".

What do you think bullies do? Do you think that they just nick your dinner money, punch, pinch, trip up, humiliate and nick your blazer after school.

Adult bullying is far worse and worse still.

Please dont imply by your post that I am just uber sensitive and that a look could crush me and that a comment could make me dive under a rock.

If I gave you every piece of evidence I have on this then I would unfortunately probably bore you to tears within ten pages. I will if you want me too though....but then on second thoughts you possibly wouldnt understand anyway so no point.

wheezy57

ILW wrote: »

Just let it wash over you and ignore it.

Wish it was that easy

Dogger69

wheezy57 wrote: »

I am not sure if you have read some of my posts but I have always said I am not in this situation to win anything. I am intent on this woman stopping her behaviour - thats the 'intent'.

My working life is at the moment not in my control at all as there are things going on in the background without my knowledge that two managers have hinted at. In other words - or rather reading between the lines - they would have me just put up and shut up.

Bullying is not always poking, pushing, prodding and physical bad behaviour. I found that after reading the bullyonline info I had been subjected to all sorts of under current systematic tactics that bullies use - without realising it - until the straw that broke the camels back last week. It has all become crystal clear now.

It is hugely naive of me to now think - why didnt I realise what was going on - it was subversive, pernicious, calculated, tactical (!) and executed in a way that only a bully could act this way.

I dont feel proud of what I am doing. I feel sick at the thought of what is ahead of me. But hey - she has to be stopped - but I doubt she will be. It will all be swept under the carpet as always until the next time....

I have read your posts, and all I see is someone wearing themselves into the ground. The way to deal with this is not to show them how much it is affecting you, keep a smile on your face and pretend you are oblivious to it. That way she'll get bored eventually, no point in picking on someone that doesn't rise to it.

When your complaint gets dismissed (as you believe it will be), what will you do next? Think about this, as you need to have a forward plan.

The more you keep pursuing this, the more likely you are to end up on the wrong end of a complaint, and you are feeding them lots of evidence to do this.