Bullying

wheezy57

ohreally wrote: »

Wheezy, you appear to be failing to grasp the function of HR. They exist to protect the employers back, not take on your fights for you.

Based on information on previous posts, I would not be surprised if your grievence fails.
You need to pick your battles, for the sake of your sanity and health try and let go of past issues and keep your head down, at least until the dust settles.

Ive just thought of something else. The past battles are encroaching on the present. I think you have rather over simplified whats going on here.

Work hard, keep my head down, do a good job - all these things I am doing. And then wham bam her behaviour towards me crops up again and again.

wheezy57

falko89 wrote: »

Hmm, I beg to differ, I am probably the opposite of successful/attractive/strong/rich and have went through this carp, I think some people just give out a vibe or something that attracts it.

I too am none of those things already mentioned. But I did stand up to her on numerous occasions, and I also asked her why she was doing these things to me. It all turned round that she felt bad that I had reported for bullying me!!!!! And that was more serious than me being bullied.

Giving off a vibe is the biggest load of tosh ever. So, children in a playground give off vibes to attract bullies...

falko89

wheezy57 wrote: »

I too am none of those things already mentioned. But I did stand up to her on numerous occasions, and I also asked her why she was doing these things to me. It all turned round that she felt bad that I had reported for bullying me!!!!! And that was more serious than me being bullied.

Giving off a vibe is the biggest load of tosh ever. So, children in a playground give off vibes to attract bullies...

I to have attracted this in numerous jobs, I can't figure out why I attract it either but I find it odd that it follows me around.

wheezy57

falko89 wrote: »

I to have attracted this in numerous jobs, I can't figure out why I attract it either but I find it odd that it follows me around.

Do you stand up for yourself? Do you question motives and behaviour? All in a polite and courteous way of course. Do you appear 'different' amongst the crowd. Do you 'fit in'. Do you struggle to appear to 'fit in' so to feel accepted by the people you work with? But, actually never quite get there? Never understanding or accepting that you still come across closed doors, gossip or the feeling that things arent quite right - or indeed feelings that make you feel somewhat uncomfortable despite your best efforts at getting accepted in to the pack.

Just a few question that occur to me on reflection of my experiences.

ohreally

wheezy57 wrote: »

Work hard, keep my head down, do a good job - all these things I am doing. And then wham bam her behaviour towards me crops up again and again.

Sometimes you need to dodge bullets rather than take them.

If the employer is going to close ranks and support their manager, you will need a robust case to enable a positive outcome.

It is pointless taking management on if your prospects of wining are small and you additionally increase the stress potential you may face.

I am very much battle hardened when it comes to such situations and i would reiterate - choose your battles, what is union rep advising?

sunflower_2

i would love to give this woman a smack in the face!

sounds like a right nasty/cocky b!nt

:mad:

my mam is bullied by her manager at work and it really bugs me. it is only a small business and will no doubt be her last employer, therefore she doesnt want to "rock the boat".

i really dont know why some people are so horrible towards others

System

Is it a big company? She should be made accountable for her actions, but sometimes in smaller firms bullying can be difficult to deal with, especially if the bully is on friendly terms with the person who owns the company.

wheezy57

ohreally wrote: »

Sometimes you need to dodge bullets rather than take them.

If the employer is going to close ranks and support their manager, you will need a robust case to enable a positive outcome.

It is pointless taking management on if your prospects of wining are small and you additionally increase the stress potential you may face.

I am very much battle hardened when it comes to such situations and i would reiterate - choose your battles, what is union rep advising?

I am not 'taking on management'. I am simply following procedures that this organization has set down for employees to follow. I am not choosing a battle. That choice is taken away from me by this womans actions. But, I am 'choosing' to attempt to get her to stop bullying me. I know perfectly well that they will close ranks and they will protect her. But somewhere I must get through to these deaf and blind managers (sorry) that there is something grossly wrong here. She has done it before and they turned blind eyes then. Nothing has been addressed or learned.

wheezy57

sunflower wrote: »

i would love to give this woman a smack in the face!

sounds like a right nasty/cocky b!nt

:mad:

my mam is bullied by her manager at work and it really bugs me. it is only a small business and will no doubt be her last employer, therefore she doesnt want to "rock the boat".

i really dont know why some people are so horrible towards others

Why does she feel that her employer will be her last? I understand that feeling of not wanting to rock the boat. I rocked the boat and boy did I get the guts kicked in.

The older I get the less I understand others agendas and motivation. It makes feel sad. Down but not out.

I hope your Mum will somehow get some strength and stand up for herself. In this day and age I find it totally bewildering that these people think it is acceptable to be as you say 'horrible to others'.

Dogger69

ohreally makes a good point - this is not a battle you are going to win, and the more you try, the more it is making you ill. Focus on how you can have a better future, which more than likely will mean finding a new job, and use your counselling to put this bad experience in the past.