Bullying

ILW

wheezy57 wrote: »

Correct. This is the brick wall I am up against. Or one of them

Step aside and list what the realistic choices are for you, I think you may be surprised at the range of option you have.
Try to think more about how you can have some measure of control over the situation.

wheezy57

Daedalus wrote: »

but most rational people don't tend to take one side of the story as gospel. .

The investigator has in my case. And told me so. And it isnt my side - the side of the truth.

wheezy57

ILW wrote: »

From other posts, she seems to find problems wherever she goes.

Where did that one come from? What are you talking about? Everybody has problems where ever they go. Why do you state that as something all the readers need to remember whilst reading my posts - 'dont forget, the poster has problems wherever she goes'.

Your contempt is beneath me Im afraid.

Dogger69

ILW wrote: »

Step aside and list what the realistic choices are for you, I think you may be surprised at the range of option you have.
Try to think more about how you can have some measure of control over the situation.

This ^^

Honestly wheezy57, you know this is not going to end well for you. Take control whilst you still can.

wheezy57

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

The absolute reality is that we don't know what she does or did so the only thing that people can respond to [rather than help you with the detail] is question why you are doing this because there is nothing else within this thread to discuss. You aren't willing to share the detail so nobody can help you with the detail.

And secondly, if you do persist and the company do decide that it is you that is the problem, it is going to be extremely hard to get another job with 'troublemaker' underlying and reference.

The best thing to do would be to give us some detail on the actual things she is doing, so that you can get help to back up your complaint and perhaps to out wit her.

Otherwise all that is happening here is that you are moaning about a bully and people respond with varying degrees of 'what are you trying to achieve in all this'...

You dont know what has happened because I choose not to spell it out for reasons similar to Facebook. Someone says something on Facebook derogatory or deflamatory about someone else in a casual manner. Someone else sees it and then that person can be sacked and indeed has been.

This bullying woman has harassed me, shouted at me in front of people of a higher rank, in front to my peers, has belittled me, has heaped work on to me knowing that it is clearly within her remit (as a manager) and not me and my 'lowly' post. She has slammed a door in my face. She has spread rumours about me. She has created a situation where I am not included in various things - in work and out of it. She has pulled me for reporting her for bullying me and said for forty minutes how badly I had made her feel. She has praised and thanked the team individually for all their hard work and omitted to include me. She loathes me that much that couldnt bear to be in the same room as me. She asked everyone how their Christmas went - everyone said this and that and I was excluded from the conversation. I been followed about. by her onto a different department. I been asked proof of what I was doing even though it was clear I was doing my job. She has continued to bully me even though I am in a different department. She continues to report me even though I am doing my job.

She has been waiting for me to come back from my half hour lunch break to ask why I was literally a few minutes late. Then for her to take the p!ss and take her time over and above the time that I got shouted at for. She has issued a long list of my misdemeanors and left it on her desk. Being a hot desk, it was there for everyone to see. It was there for a good 6 weeks. I told HR and they took a copy of the list. These misdemeanors were not true and were 'made up'. A manager was supposed to have a meeting with me to discuss this list and he never followed up. He said that he had spoken to this woman - but didnt inform me.

Would you like any other instances of her behaviour or does what I tell you not amount to bullying but someone who didnt like me so therefore took it upon herself to make my life hell and therefore to get me sacked.

Lastly, I am not bloudy moaning. I am desperately trying to get someone to listen. If thats moaning then I shall have to just carry on moaning.

As I have been told - its all about perception. Perception my !!!!. Like it or lump it. Put and shut up. Let it lie. Move on. Youll never win. You are a troublemaker. You are the problem. Whatever.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

wheezy57 wrote: »

You dont know what has happened because I choose not to spell it out for reasons similar to Facebook. Someone says something on Facebook derogatory or deflamatory about someone else in a casual manner. Someone else sees it and then that person can be sacked and indeed has been.

This bullying woman has harassed me, shouted at me in front of people of a higher rank, in front to my peers, has belittled me, has heaped work on to me knowing that it is clearly within her remit (as a manager) and not me and my 'lowly' post. She has slammed a door in my face. She has spread rumours about me. She has created a situation where I am not included in various things - in work and out of it. She has pulled me for reporting her for bullying me and said for forty minutes how badly I had made her feel. She has praised and thanked the team individually for all their hard work and omitted to include me. She loathes me that much that couldnt bear to be in the same room as me. She asked everyone how their Christmas went - everyone said this and that and I was excluded from the conversation. I been followed about. by her onto a different department. I been asked proof of what I was doing even though it was clear I was doing my job. She has continued to bully me even though I am in a different department. She continues to report me even though I am doing my job.

She has been waiting for me to come back from my half hour lunch break to ask why I was literally a few minutes late. Then for her to take the p!ss and take her time over and above the time that I got shouted at for. She has issued a long list of my misdemeanors and left it on her desk. Being a hot desk, it was there for everyone to see. It was there for a good 6 weeks. I told HR and they took a copy of the list. These misdemeanors were not true and were 'made up'. A manager was supposed to have a meeting with me to discuss this list and he never followed up. He said that he had spoken to this woman - but didnt inform me.

Would you like any other instances of her behaviour or does what I tell you not amount to bullying but someone who didnt like me so therefore took it upon herself to make my life hell and therefore to get me sacked.

Lastly, I am not bloudy moaning. I am desperately trying to get someone to listen. If thats moaning then I shall have to just carry on moaning.

As I have been told - its all about perception. Perception my !!!!. Like it or lump it. Put and shut up. Let it lie. Move on. Youll never win. You are a troublemaker. You are the problem. Whatever.

You need to calm down a bit. We are trying to help you.

Are any of these incidents the main one referred to in your OP?

The thing/s that she reported you for - did you do them and is there any evidence that anyone else does them regularly?

Is the thing that she has reported you for against company policy in any way?

wheezy57

I dont feel calm. All the incidents mount up into one big old mess. They are all written down. They didnt seem to be against company policy until I read the Company Policy on Bullying and Harassment. Then it all added up.

The straw that broke the camels back or a light bulb moment has happened.
I do hear everything you guys are saying and I appreciate your help. I feel that unless you have been bullied then its hard to get over how it affects you. It literally makes you stop in your tracks with disbelief, shock, 'why me' and lots of other emotional stuff. When I looked back to everything that has happened I realised that this woman loathes me enough to do the dirty on me.

Thats all really. I would like nothing more than to say oh stuff her and just carry on doing my job and forget about it. I cant and I dont know why she keeps trying to make my life worse.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

wheezy57 wrote: »

I dont feel calm. All the incidents mount up into one big old mess. They are all written down. They didnt seem to be against company policy until I read the Company Policy on Bullying and Harassment. Then it all added up.

The straw that broke the camels back or a light bulb moment has happened.
I do hear everything you guys are saying and I appreciate your help. I feel that unless you have been bullied then its hard to get over how it affects you. It literally makes you stop in your tracks with disbelief, shock, 'why me' and lots of other emotional stuff. When I looked back to everything that has happened I realised that this woman loathes me enough to do the dirty on me.

Thats all really. I would like nothing more than to say oh stuff her and just carry on doing my job and forget about it. I cant and I dont know why she keeps trying to make my life worse.

You are so uncalm that you aren't reading properly. The only way to unpick this and help you is if you step away from the emotion and look at it step by step.

Are any of these incidents [the ones you just described to us] the main one referred to in your OP?

The thing/s that she reported you for - did you do them and is there any evidence that anyone else does them regularly?

Is the thing that she has reported you for against company policy in any way?

wheezy57

Dead right about the calmness. The event that she reported me for was something that everyone does - day in day out. The evidence is only from the others saying that what was the beef with her? We all do that!?

Everyone does the same stuff - only they didnt get picked up on.

The latest report was not against company policy. It was plain interferring busybodiness with malicious intent ie to get me into trouble. Other things that she has done to me have been against company policy.

One such part in the policy clearly states:

....ACAS guidance states that 'bullying may be characterised as offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse of misuse of power through means intended to undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the recipient.

Dogger69

wheezy57 wrote: »

I would like nothing more than to say oh stuff her and just carry on doing my job and forget about it. I cant and I dont know why she keeps trying to make my life worse.

You can do it - it is going to take time and a great deal of strength, but you will be able to move on from this. I can say that because I have been there, all my advice is based on personal experience.

There are some battles you will never win, so you need to take another path - make a change before you lose the ability to do so.