Not entitled to ANY benefit .... SKINT!

nannytone_2

princessdon wrote: »

i do have a gold up bed

a gold bed - no wonder you manage

(joke)

Actually I do think it's totally wrong for grandparents or relatives to expect parents to pay. It seems against my morals for that, if you offer, you offer unconditionally.

Gran is less well off financially and too ill to leave all the children (but I do leave my eldest, but they both think they know who is babysitting who) for an hour or so. If I gave money to gran to feed her I'd have a flea in my backside.

My parents would see it as an insult too


But ... I'd make it up it other ways and I always offer, it's rejected but I offer and will send the kids with cash to "pop in granddad's coffee jar", it makes it way back, but I tried.

I want to give it as they have less income, they see it as an insult so it is a hard line to draw.

I'd be heartedly insulted if someone paid me to look after a relative but if I was on the bones of my backside I'm sure they'd offer anyway.

i also go to stay with my daughter for the weekend... she doesnt charge me either.

we also go out for days, and i never have to pay petrol money.

actually we went to alton towers and they paid ... but i think they had ulterior motives ( the wristband) still we had a lovely day and are going again in july ( again they will buy all my food and drinks, vecause they have invited me.... it isnt an expectation and i will take enough money with me for food... but i know they wont let me pay)

nannytone_2

emsywoo123 wrote: »

You suggested I get counselling for my (fabricated by you) issues. And you see that as blunt? Where is the line for you that would make that rude?

And no, I don't need to look at historical posts actually.

to be honest, i thought the reply was from someone else ( its a quite common mistake for me)
but you always have the option to ignore what i say, rather than quoting...
you know me no more than i know you, but felt in a position to criticise.

thats fine, its a forum.
but you then cant complain when i criticise in rteturn

emsywoo123

nannytone wrote: »

to be honest, i thought the reply was from someone else ( its a quite common mistake for me)
but you always have the option to ignore what i say, rather than quoting...
you know me no more than i know you, but felt in a position to criticise.

thats fine, its a forum.
but you then cant complain when i criticise in rteturn

I was kindly trying to save you from any more upset as it was clear where this was heading - you told me to get counselling for my issues.

Crack on and good luck, last time I try to step in and help anyone on here!

princessdon

nannytone wrote: »

i also go to stay with my daughter for the weekend... she doesnt charge me either.

we also go out for days, and i never have to pay petrol money.

actually we went to alton towers and they paid ... but i think they had ulterior motives ( the wristband) still we had a lovely day and are going again in july ( again they will buy all my food and drinks, vecause they have invited me.... it isnt an expectation and i will take enough money with me for food... but i know they wont let me pay)

I know and it's one thing we agree on. It's a balance, if you really couldn't afford it you would take money offered and they will quid pro quo.

My parents won't take anything (I'd like them too) but will buy flowers, days out, meals or like recently a lovely trip to Rome for their Wedding Anniversary.

I do offer and leave the money - but it comes back and rightly so. It's a conundrum (I'd feel guilty if I didn't offer, they feel it offends).

It's the same with friends. My eldest went away for 3 nights with a friend and returned with her whole spending money, it didn't seem right to me, but when I took their child to the Villa for a week (bar flights) I didn't want money from them. Just a typical family conundrum.

Bar the fact my bed's are platinum not gold of course!

nannytone_2

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I was kindly trying to save you from any more upset as it was clear where this was heading - you told me to get counselling for my issues.

Crack on and good luck, last time I try to step in and help anyone on here!

i dont get upset by things said on here. and thanks for the thought, but i really dont need someone to look out for me.

the worst thing that can happen is that someone will 'type' at me

System

princessdon wrote: »

Bar the fact my bed's are platinum not gold of course!

Bah..mine is just bog standard wood... obv i'm going wrong somehwere! :rotfl:

nannytone_2

princessdon wrote: »

I know and it's one thing we agree on. It's a balance, if you really couldn't afford it you would take money offered and they will quid pro quo.

My parents won't take anything (I'd like them too) but will buy flowers, days out, meals or like recently a lovely trip to Rome for their Wedding Anniversary.

I do offer and leave the money - but it comes back and rightly so. It's a conundrum (I'd feel guilty if I didn't offer, they feel it offends).

It's the same with friends. My eldest went away for 3 nights with a friend and returned with her whole spending money, it didn't seem right to me, but when I took their child to the Villa for a week (bar flights) I didn't want money from them. Just a typical family conundrum.

Bar the fact my bed's are platinum not gold of course!

you just cant help yourself can you

i'm off to london for a break next month, for one of my closest.oldest friends 50th .
i will saty at hers and she would be offended if i offered her 'keep' money.
but i will get us a takeaway and maybe even stretch to a bottle of wine ( ive saved the birthday money my parents sent me)

princessdon

I just think it's a sad world when grandparents say £10 to keep X overnight. Not my idea of society at all!

nannytone_2

honestly, my food bill doesnt go up at all when my grandson is here.
as a person on my own, i can have a fair bit of waste, especially with veg.
i rarely use a whole lettuce/cabbage/cauliflower before it needs throwing away.
and a bag of peppers at the supermarket costs £1.30 and there are 4 in them. yet 1 lose pepper costs me up to 80p.

the only thing i really need to spend more on is bubble bath!

princessdon

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Bah..mine is just bog standard wood... obv i'm going wrong somehwere! :rotfl:

You are working soon (so will be silver then progress), seriously congrats on the job and I sincerely hope it all works out, I have no doubt at all it's the start of a new chapter for the better.