Messy relationship situation

MEM62

Relationships are based on trust. Yes, you should have told him and that was an error of judgement - but we all make them. Basically, the problem is his, not yours. Lay your cards on the table and explain that you have told him the truth and ask him if he doesn't trust you what basis is there for the future of the relationship?

C_Mababejive

How tedious. Is this what relationships are all about? Control and petty jealousy? If so you can keep it. Give me freedom every time.

Errata

You didn't tell him because you were frightened about what his reaction would be. Now you know; he's telling you what you can do and what you can't. Are you happy with that?

elisebutt65

What sort of relationship do you have? Married, living together or just BF? TBH if I was just seeing someone, not living together or married, I probably wouldn't have bothered bringing it up either.

Sounds like an over-possessive, jealous tool.

fluffnutter

Miss_Es wrote: »

...asked him if I could go...

Grown ups don't need to ask other grown ups for permission to do stuff.

Jealousy destroys relationships. Tell him to get some help with his problem. Or leave him.

marisco_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

Grown ups don't need to ask other grown ups for permission to do stuff.

I agree. In a grown up relationship you should discuss everything openly and honestly, then decide between you what you are both happy with to happen next. It is not about gaining permission or someone having control over decisions. It is all about communication, compromise and having mutual respect for each other.

Bangton

I get the feeling that had you told him you wouldn't have met your ex because he would have kicked up such a fuss. I think you knew this. .. that's why you didn't tell him. I can see it from his side but I can also see it from yours and I think it's very wrong to cage you in like that. If you want to see someone you see them, ex or not. You could cheat with anyone. ..What's he going to do if you meet other blokes who are friends. . Whinge and make accusations? I wouldn't like it if I wasnt told my partner was meeting an ex but by the same token I would blumming well hear him out of he did

Netwizard

Why does he think you have cheated? You met up for a coffee. Its highly unlikely you would both be having a shag round the back of Starbucks!!

I agree with most here, you probably should of told him so you weren't hiding anything, but his reaction is over the top.

justme111

You know why you did not tell him - not because it was nothing important but because it would have been important to him. Omitting something that would be important to a significant other is a lie. I would not be a happy bunny if lied to and would not do it myself. Now , the issue of him being irreasonable and nothing criminal in a catch up with exes - that's another topic.

Hanging_by_a_thread

I think you should have discussed things with your partner before meeting your ex. I also think though that he is overreacting and shouldn't be accusing you of cheating etc. Hope you can sort this out between you both.