Messy relationship situation

Carl31

pigpen wrote: »

I'd get out of that relationship sharpish.

He is controlling, making threats.. what will he do if you choose to meet up with an ex again? .. What if he decides he doesn't like your friends do you have to stop seeing them too?? Or your family?

It took me 20 years to get my head switched on and see this type of behaviour for what it is.. it isn't jealousy it is controlling evil behaviour and it goes 1 of 2 ways.. they get violent when you start saying no or you become a total downtrodden mat.

You should feel able to tell your current partner you are meeting an ex not feel like you have to withhold the truth or directly lie just to keep the peace. If I said to my OH I was meeting anyone I am sure it would not be an issue.. I however have issue with his previous partner.. for a couple of specific reasons but I am happy to tell him why I would not want him to go. (He sneaked and spent the night at her house when the baby was 2 weeks old after taking his mum home and telling me he was staying there)

I was thinking yesterday.. why did no one tell me what a tool my XH was before I married him? Or at any point?... It would have saved me years of trouble and sadness.

But get out now before you are trapped in that negative cycle forever.

Whilst i do agree completely with the anti jealous remarks, and also believe as adults of opposite sexes can be friends and nothing more, i dont agree that a relationship should end where one partner is jealous, not unless there is other things too

Jealousy in relationships is the most damaging and pointless thing that can occur in my opinion. It is nothing more than a figment of imagination, but can doso much to ruin things.

The trouble is, as in the op's case i imagine, jealous behaviour can be a very small and circumstantial thing, 99% of the time the partner could be the most wonderful person to have graced the earth, why end a relationship on something that only occurs occasionally?

Having said that, its not healthy and not needed, no matter how much the person tries to justify it, its their problem, and one they need to deal with and remove fron their life, else it will haunt them forever.

Op, unless you want to, dont give up on your bloke, work with him to deal with his problem, he will thank you for it.

My now wife was insanely jealous when i met her, and as i have many female friends, this was a bad mix. However, i knew that behind it she was a beautiful person, and jealousy is nothing more than an illness, so we worked to deal with her issues. If we hadnt, we certainly would not have got married last year

The_Magnificent_Spoon

jw1096 wrote: »

Boring. Would you have a problem with someone not telling you they are going to the bathroom? Or the supermarket? Or a female friend? Why would it have to be mentioned?

Reading threads like these..... thank god im single.

You mean,

"With opinions like these..... No wonder I'm single."?

Pixiechic

You should have told him and the fact that you didn't has made him feel insecure. I think that that is understandable, meeting up with your ex behind his back!