Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

LannieDuck wrote: »

I don't understand why your solicitor seems to be stalling - is there actually outstanding information required? Did their solicitors fail to provide something?

Surely you want to get a final clean-break financial settlement in place as quickly as possible. This inbetween stage is costing you a fortune.

Re-reading your post, it looks as if it's just the pensions stuff outstanding. So why wasn't that initiated at the same time as the Form Es? (NB: I don't actually expect you to know the answers to my questions, they're mostly rhetorical :P)

Yeah I'm frustrated with how long it is taking like you say it's a nice little earner for the solicitors. There's a number of things my solicitor has asked for to obviously create a case. For example she asked for proof of job applications etc see below actual wording:

What is Applicant’s case as to her earning capacity and in particular:
a. What steps, if any, has the Applicant taken to find employment? Please provide copies of the Applicant’s CV together with copies of all job applications (if any), advertisements and responses received from such applications which have been obtained/submitted/received to the date of answering the question.
b. Has the Applicant registered with any employment agencies? If so please state:
i. Date of registration;
ii. The type of employment she seeks

iii. The response she has received.

JackRS

Got a letter from solicitor to tell me that they have revised their estimate of the likely legal costs are now £3K-£8K. Not sure the point of sending me a hard copy letter which I’ll be charged for, oh see that’s why!

Feels like solicitors are doing their best to make things drag on and ensure conflict and cost, which is no surprise. A friend has suggested I try and speak to the ex and propose an agreement. For example offer her the house in full, set a time limit on maintenance payment and keep my pension. The way this is dragging on the legal fees are getting bigger. However considering she is asking for the house in full, lifetime maintenance payment, and half the pension not sure she’ll see that it’s more than reasonable offer. Not sure it would be best solution for me as I have nothing to pay legal fees and no deposit for a new house if I don’t get a share of it. However it’s not sold yet so even if I got 50% it’s 50% of nothing right now?

Gigervamp

Lifetime maintenance? What planet is she living on?

JackRS

Gigervamp wrote: »

Lifetime maintenance? What planet is she living on?

Planet 'easy life'

Caroline_a

I am shocked and horrified that any woman in this day and age thinks that she should be due a lifetime maintenance payment. Additionally that she can't be bothered to get off her lazy a$$ and get a job. My ex gave me nothing at all for our daughter - she was 9 when we split - and certainly nothing for me.

I have to say in your shoes I might be looking at a way to go bankrupt. That might make her think a bit...

justme111

That's dreadful feeling when you suspect you have nobody to trust .. have you asked on wikivorce how to deal with solicitors dragging ? Have you.considered complaining(nicely of course but knowing your writing style I have.no doybts your complain would be perfect )? In this day of overregulating any profession an unhappy customer can make a big hole in any registered professional , they may become more careful .

justme111

I am not implying solicitors done something wrong. Most likely they are supposed to update estimates. One can turn paranoid when one has no control.
Remember , this will pass as well ..

LannieDuck

My feeling is that it's still worth while continuing with the solicitors. If your ex was being more reasonable I would agree that you should try negotiating with her directly, but I think you'll end up far more out of pocket if you do that than if you pay £10k upfront and get a proper, fair settlement put in place.

justme111

Yeah , from what I have read I would not even think of going direct , time for that (if possible at all ) had well and truly gone.

RAS

Caroline_a wrote: »

I have to say in your shoes I might be looking at a way to go bankrupt. That might make her think a bit...

Unfortunately he cannot just do that as he is not insolvent. The OR would definately look to pay of the CC debts and his fees with the equity and madam would have no say in that. It would still leave JackRS' pension fund up for grabs and his continued income available (there would be no IPA).

If it really went pear-shaped then overseas where REMO don't shine would be an option if it were not for JackRS' elderly parents.

All IMO but JackRS has probably already thunk it through.