Separated, how much should I provide?

RAS

I'll leave JackRS to make assumptions about motives; he's been around this lady long enough to understand what makes her tick.

Just I have seen some of the tricks played when things get rough and that's why I can see the advantages to the lady in some of her perfectly sensible decisions. If the advantages were not there, she may have done differently.

And I fully understand the shock and terror that she may have experienced when her nicely ordered future suddenly vanished when JackRS told her the marriage was over. And she will be "fighting for her children" in her own eyes.

I do not know and do not want to know whether there was any previous indication that there were problems but most of us hope until the end that it might be solveable and it hurts when the end comes.

The one who ends it usually has time to mentally prepare but it often comes as a complete shock to the other party.

Thumper7

Hi JackRS

I have been following your thread as I am currently going through separation at the moment, albeit I'm the wife and its Scots Law.

I think that all I really want to say is that I wish you were my ex. You are being so reasonable and I would bite your hand off for the amount you propose to pay your wife. My husband is paying nothing, nada, nought in aliment even though under Scot's Law there is a duty to provide for each other.

I wont go into details as I don't want to impose on your thread.

I hope things work out well for you and I will be reading your thread.

supersaver2

I have also been following your thread with interest Jack, you really do come across as being very reasonable. At times reading your posts I've wanted to shout to your ex 'get a flipping job and start earning!' So goodness knows how you stay so calm!

I will keep reading and hope you keep us all posted, there have been some very supportive posts made on here and I hope they bring you some comfort.

JackRS

supersaver2 wrote: »

I have also been following your thread with interest Jack, you really do come across as being very reasonable. At times reading your posts I've wanted to shout to your ex 'get a flipping job and start earning!' So goodness knows how you stay so calm!

I will keep reading and hope you keep us all posted, there have been some very supportive posts made on here and I hope they bring you some comfort.

Thanks yes the support has kept me going through darker times. I have shouted those things in my head, not that it's easy to find a job, but as we know she's playing a master game plan.

JackRS

JackRS wrote: »

Earlier I mentioned that due to the mileage on the ex returned lease car there were some charges, basically £62 for some damage £100 for being within 2k over agreed mileage but a £552 charge for not having it serviced at the required mileage. I had no idea of the mileage issue until she told me the week before. I’ve been asking my solicitor for advice but she’s out of the office until tomorrow the day I’m due to pay voluntary maintenance, so last night I wrote to the ex with the following proposal:

‘In terms of your car return charges I have managed to spread the charge (£713) over the next 4 pay days, so obviously my income will be reduced by that and the fact that the new car is £206 a month so I estimate my net pay will be around £230 less each month for the next 4 months. When I discussed with you in April about finances and keeping the car I made it clear that any charges would be your responsibility, however I realise you can’t afford to pay the full amount in one go. Obviously I can’t just absorb this cost so I propose to reduce your monthly payments by £100 month unless you have another idea?’

She replied as I asked with her idea, obviously after getting advice from her solicitor:

‘Thank you for your email regarding car return charges.
Whilst I am happy to pay for the actual charges relating to the condition of the car I do not feel I should have to pay for the fact that you overlooked getting the car serviced. I had no idea that this was needed - it is your car scheme and therefore ultimately your responsibility.
I will transfer £151 for the mileage and damage charge (please confirm this is the correct amount) so you won't have to alter our monthly allowance amount.’


I know what I want to do but I’ll have to wait to discuss with my solicitor when she returns probably Friday now?

Had agreement from my solicitor that my proposal is reasonable, so have reduced voluntary maintenance by £100 and informed her. I’m still £230 down so net £130 down. So no doubt she’ll be speaking to her solicitor so I can expect a reaction probably threaten the maintenance pending suit case.

JackRS

My solicitor has issued questionnaire to the ex in responses to her Form E. She has also filed a ‘Form G’ notice of response to first appointment stating that we’re not in the position to proceed on 28/10 with a Financial Dispute Resolution Appointment due to outstanding disclosure. She has also proposed that for the pension sharing order an Actuary should prepare a report. I asked some questions relating to this and got the following reply.

It is absolutely standard at this stage to say that the First Directions Appointment (FDA) cannot be used as an Financial Dispute Resolution Appointment (FDR)due to outstanding disclosure.

In reality, we can agree to respond to each other’s questionnaires by the FDA, and it could potentially be used as an FDR, but we still have the issue of pensions to resolve, and I believe that an Actuary will need to prepare a report in respect of this.

Regarding the Actuary fee, the general position is that you pay one half of the cost each. The cost of an Actuary is £1,200 + VAT, so you would be liable to pay £600 + VAT.

justme111

I remember looking into the actuary report about pension trying to figure out what its implications and barguining power could be. Yes that's the way it is I believe.

Lunar_Eclipse

I continue to be amazed at the prices these legal professionals charge (for mostly straightforward admin that the rest of the workforce earn £10/hour doing.) Whilst I half think it's clearly a career of choice for the academically able, I also personally find it morally wrong. It makes me feel sick and angry to think about how much money they are earning from people generally at the lowest point in their lives.

I have no idea how you're managing to cope with all this Jack. You truly are an inspiration. I hope you are going to be able to share your new found debt with your wife though. You can't be expected to cover it all, surely?

justme111

I thought one could accrue debt with solicitors and once the house is sold its paid out of the proceeds, or am I wrong ?

LannieDuck

I don't understand why your solicitor seems to be stalling - is there actually outstanding information required? Did their solicitors fail to provide something?

Surely you want to get a final clean-break financial settlement in place as quickly as possible. This inbetween stage is costing you a fortune.

Re-reading your post, it looks as if it's just the pensions stuff outstanding. So why wasn't that initiated at the same time as the Form Es? (NB: I don't actually expect you to know the answers to my questions, they're mostly rhetorical :P)