Separated, how much should I provide?

Lunar_Eclipse

Vicky123 wrote: »

She could also slope off to Dr and find herself dx depressed, if that happens then she can turn up at court with letter and get a real easy ride.

Does it? I have a friend going through divorce and her solicitor has advised her to stop working and get lots of evidence of her long term depression. She was self employed, so wound her business up based on this advice. Sounds ludicrous to me, but I'm not a divorce lawyer.

Treevo

JackRS wrote: »

Ah not sure on that and how it works as I'm paying voluntary spouse maintenance not child support?

Reduce it and divert the child support portion to your former in laws for the support of your son. That's what your lawyer should be advising you to do. After all you're paying to support your child to the people supporting him - not your ex wife who now has no minor children to care for.

Vicky123

Don't know about long term depression as there would surely have to be some evidence to support that, but sudden traumatic event depression, why not? Someone can on the day turn up with evidence of new depression disorder, this new depression is a result of recent events, never had a problem in the world before so now the other party really looks exactly how they were intended to look.
Is the judge supposed to see right through this? Is he clairvoyant? Doctors letter is evidence but psychiatrist only has the patients word on how he feels and when it started, it's quite easy to find out what to say at the appointment.
Personally I would never wind a business up on the say so of a solicitor deteremined to win at all costs but divorce can get really nasty and frankly it's disgusting that anyone legal or otherwise would advise someone to deceive, but they do, not just solicitors, family advise as well.
Just alerting the OP to another possible turn of events which will have him grilled like the Spanish Inquisition and the poor depressed other fooling everyone into sympathy and soft ride.

geoffky

krustylouise wrote: »

I had a job as a waitress in a chippy from 15. .

Jesus..You must have a posh chippy near you...We get ours in paper.:D

RAS

Jack

Send 15% of your income to the grandparents each month; so that you are seen to support him, by him and the grandparents. Deduct that sum from the money you send your wife.

Since she is not moving south in the short-term, she really should be signing on or getting work urgently.

She has of course now very skillfully shot herself in the foot regarding her capacity to claim benefits as her she has no under age dependents.

Consequently, she cannot claim CTC and would only be eligible for WTC if she worked more than 30 hours a week. However her eligibility is probably wiped out by the spousal maintenance which she is receiving.

Very careful game planning on her part.

RAS

JackRS

Just had another thought.

If madam was really cute...........

You pay her maintenance despite DS living with grandparents.

Then the grandparents stick in a claim for CSA at 15%.

And madam indicates to the court that the money you have been paying her since DS left is the spousal maintence she has been demanding and not a contribution to DS costs because poor dear me has had to send DS to stay with GP's because she could not afford to support him.

Do think you need to think about DD though.

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

JackRS

Just had another thought.

If madam was really cute...........

You pay her maintenance despite DS living with grandparents.

Then the grandparents stick in a claim for CSA at 15%.

And madam indicates to the court that the money you have been paying her since DS left is the spousal maintence she has been demanding and not a contribution to DS costs because poor dear me has had to send DS to stay with GP's because she could not afford to support him.

Do think you need to think about DD though.

Yeah there a number of tatics that they could employ and I have outlined some to my solicitor. My solicitors response when i metioned that ex and daughter will be staying in the house until sold now and not moving south was:

'It will be interesting to see what she states in her Form E as her ‘earning capacity.’ As you say, we will be stating that she needs to find employment in this area for the time being.

JackRS

Just remembered the ex sent email below and copied her solicitor early July, which shows about the doctor visit so I'm sure they'll use this as evidence why she's not fit for work.

She wrote:

'I just do not understand how you can expect the three of us to manage on only £1000 a month from you when the direct debits alone cost nearly £600. Yes we get child tax credit of £300 but we are struggling with a quarter of your monthly salary while you think it perfectly reasonable to keep three-quarters for yourself. I know you seem to think that I can claim benefits of up to £800 but I am not sure where you get that figure from and why should I have to claim during this transitional period when you were happy enough to support us before? Equally you think I should get a job to help with the shortfall. You don’t seem to take into account the pain and distress I have been suffering from, which has made me emotionally fragile to the point where I have been to see the doctor for help to cope and also had several counselling sessions. I am trying to get a job but in the current climate and with my age and experience against me it may take a while. I have actually been to an interview this morning for a part-time role but until I manage to get a job, we as a family need more financial help from you.'

thorsoak

It shows that if necessary, she might be able to claim ESA - which would, at least give her NI credits for pension.

JackRS

thorsoak wrote: »

It shows that if necessary, she might be able to claim ESA - which would, at least give her NI credits for pension.

She's claiming nothing except CTC