Separated, how much should I provide?

edited 31 August 2016 at 11:26AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • thorsoakthorsoak Forumite
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    Hello Jack - I'm not sure that I have responded before on your thread - I know I have agreed and thanked other posters, and cheered you on - but I don't think I have contributed to it before now however now I do feel compelled to add my two-pennorth - so here it is.

    You have been more than reasonable with your two children, but now, it is time to show tough love to your daughter (who is showing that she is so obviously her mother's daughter) - and stop supporting her!

    She is more than capable of earning her own living - on the south coast in the summer - no jobs? Nonsense! She has grown a wishbone where a backbone ought to be!
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    MrsTinks, Tuesday Tenor & thorsoak


    Thank you for taking the time to write a few months back sorry I didn't reply then but all your words of wisdom are very supportive. It's my sons 21st in February, I've discussed with my partner that I intend to get him something special as she suggested. She had friend come and stay this weekend who's parents split when she was in her late teens she expressed that despite her negative feelings towards her father knowing that he was there and that he was trying to keep the relationship between them did eventually help to bridge the gap. She said she felt it was up to the parent to keep trying. So after another year of silence between my son and I, I will send a gift. I don't expect a response but at least he'll know I'm still here for him.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    JackRS wrote: »
    It's my sons 21st in February, I've discussed with my partner that I intend to get him something special as she suggested.

    So after another year of silence between my son and I, I will send a gift. I don't expect a response but at least he'll know I'm still here for him.

    If your son is half the man that you are, he will come round and make contact with you at some point.
  • kelpie35kelpie35 Forumite
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    I think you have to be admired Jack for really trying to keep a relationship going with your son.

    It is heartbreaking to know that he is still ignoring you.

    One thing to keep in mind is that he is still young and probably immature.

    I still have faith to believe that one day you will both have a father/son relationship.

    Hope you and your partner have a wonderful Christmas.

    Take care.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    I know some of you will be pleased to hear that I had a breakthrough. I sent my son and daughter Christmas cards and the same amount of cash each for Christmas and text them both Christmas morning. I was surprised and delighted to get a reply from my son saying thank you for the gift. It's the first time I've had any form of response or reply in over 3 years. A massive breakthrough....
    Regards

    JackRS
  • vandanfcvandanfc Forumite
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    I hope it is the first step on a path to reunion.
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    Wonderful news! Your patience is paying off.

    Let's hope that's just the start and the two of you will be able to rebuild a good relationship.
  • GigervampGigervamp Forumite
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    That's great news Jack, I'm so pleased your son has got in touch with you.

    Happy New Year!
  • mellymoo74mellymoo74 Forumite
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    So pleased Jack.
  • edited 3 January 2017 at 12:56PM
    ampersandampersand Forumite
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    edited 3 January 2017 at 12:56PM
    Brilliant start, re-start, resumption Jack.

    It will all downgrade to teen blip [ 'I was SO vile', perhaps with chuckles] when, one day, you're baby-sitting, being the world's fave/best grand-dad:-)

    A VERY Happy New Year to you all.
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