Separated, how much should I provide?

edited 31 August 2016 at 11:26AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • I realise this is many months ago but I would like to point out that although many people are saying the daughter is an adult, MSE Martin has regularly pointed out that parents are expected to help their student children financially as Student Finance is based on parents income.
    I haven't read all the thread but am assuming the mum doesn't work, in which case the daughter would receive full grant and loan so should be more than sufficient to pay her own way. Unless she is in London or high-rental cost area as that could cost more than received.
    Students I have known have tended to work although there are some courses that don't allow for working in term-time due to the sheer volume of work required, architecture is one of those courses but I couldn't say how demanding music is. Most students do manage to work in holidays though.
    Apparently students in the last year get less than other years as funding is only given for the 9 months of term-time. Unfortunately rent and other bills are contracted for 12 months so there is a shortfall and many students have extra costs associated with carrying out work required for their dissertation.
    My child gets some grant and loan and we contribute £10-£20 a week during term-time and this pays for all the fresh food and milk. I would love to be able to help more but we just don't have any spare money. As it turned out they managed to get a job during term-time (can only do 8 to 10 hours though due to the course requirements) and they worked throughout summer so saved money for the terms ahead. I am very proud that my child has worked out how to be very frugal with meal planning and this will stand them in good stead fro the future.
  • BrassicWomanBrassicWoman Forumite
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    I realise this is many months ago but I would like to point out that although many people are saying the daughter is an adult, MSE Martin has regularly pointed out that parents are expected to help their student children financially as Student Finance is based on parents income.
    I haven't read all the thread .


    Read all of the thread. It's a long thread and your advice is very out of date.
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  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    Delighted that you have heard from your son and life seems to be treating you well. Much deserved.

    Bit surprised you are planning to remarry though. Would love to understand why. I know it's a "very normal thing to do", I'm just surprised that you still see any reason/benefit to the legal formality given your experience. I'm happily married, but still don't really know why we actually got married (I wanted it, prior to having kids and very much love my husband) and definitely think that once is at least enough, regardless of the marriage outcome ... so curious.

    Blessings for 2017 everyone!


    Sorry for taking so long to reply didn’t realise there was a question about why wanting to get married. I can understand the question considering what I’ve been through but I don’t think that is related to the concept of marriage but the people involved. I personally am not against marriage as for many it can be wonderful. It’s more about the people involved and what they want and how they wish to live their life, I don’t believe there are wrongs or rights in this just what fits the individuals.


    My partner and I are planning to get married in October 2018 and we’re both very excited about the wedding and our life together. There is not just one simple reason or fact that made me want to marry my partner, she’s my best friend, the person I’d choose to do anything with and I’m very attracted to her, she still takes my breath away every time I see her. Thankfully she feels the same about me, well similar….. None of that means we have to be married but ultimately she’s the person I want to be with and for her she has not been married before or had children. For her I’m the first person she has met that she wanted to be married to and have children with. You can imagine how that makes me feel to know that the lady I’m in love with feels like that about me. So yes we have a strong bond that doesn’t need marriage but we both want to.


    Sorry this sounds all a bit sloppy but I’m struggling to put it into words why. Simply I want her to be my wife and I want to be her husband, maybe I’m just old fashioned…..
    Regards

    JackRS
  • vandanfcvandanfc Forumite
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    Nothing wrong with either sloppy or old fashioned.

    I wish you both a very long and happy future together.

    Any progress with your children, especially your son ?
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    vandanfc wrote: »
    Nothing wrong with either sloppy or old fashioned.

    I wish you both a very long and happy future together.

    Any progress with your children, especially your son ?



    Thanks no nothing from my son on Fathers day or any word since, I know he's changed his phone number but he hasn't shared it with me.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • kelpie35kelpie35 Forumite
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    I am so happy for you Jack.

    It is lovely that you both have found one another.

    I do hope and pray that you both have a long and happy marriage.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    kelpie35 wrote: »
    I am so happy for you Jack.

    It is lovely that you both have found one another.

    I do hope and pray that you both have a long and happy marriage.



    Thank you that is so very kind of you.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • LilElvisLilElvis Forumite
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    I'm glad that the last few years, and all of the trauma, hasn't embittered you or made you pessimistic. Fortunately for me my husband wasn't put off the idea of marriage after an acrimonious and costly divorce after 8 years with his first wife. We've now been together over 15 years, married for 11 and now blessed with a nearly 7 year old daughter.

    I hope you are as happy as we have been - you certainly sound like a couple who are very much in love and committed to spending your lives together.
  • vandanfcvandanfc Forumite
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    JackRS wrote: »
    Thanks no nothing from my son on Fathers day or any word since, I know he's changed his phone number but he hasn't shared it with me.

    His loss, I just hope that one day he does come to his senses, he is missing out on so much.
  • kelpie35kelpie35 Forumite
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    vandanfc wrote: »
    His loss, I just hope that one day he does come to his senses, he is missing out on so much.

    Have to agree with you 100%

    Just keep plodding on Jack, I do believe things will change with time.
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