Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

Gigervamp wrote: »

Wow. I'm speechless. Nearly 3K a month? Does she have delusions of grandeur or something?

With regards to her not working, you said that she worked up until 4 years ago as a teaching assistant and was volunteering until a few months ago, so it should be easy enough for her to get another job, it's not as if she's not worked since the children were born.

What's happening about her moving down south? That was supposed to be happening next month. Has she *postponed* the move?

I feel for you. She really is taking the proverbial. When my ex-husband and I split up, all I wanted was maintenance for the kids. I don't even have any of his pension.

Some people are just so greedy.

Well she told me last week that she has been advised by her solicitor to stay in the house until it's sold or until son starts college in September. This is probably because if she moved south she would stay with parents and her living costs would be far less and wouldn't help her case. I think her plan is to get what she can with no intension to work, move back in with parents at the seaside and live I nice work free life.

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

Or a powerful tool in your negotiating arsenal .....

Yeah I did react when I first saw the request and think I may as well give up working.

duchy

I think the fact your wife worked until very recently (comparative to the length of the marriage) is something that perhaps your solicitor is ignoring and could be addressed .

I think in your situation I'd be booking an appointment with a different solicitor -and seeing what they say when presented with the same facts before proceeding.

justme111

Well , that's what bargaining is about - once you presented with 3000 you will take 2000 as a bliss . Do not think eeven pro female courts will allocate 3000 to her and 500 to you or anywhere near it , it might be done so that later when presented with still unreasonable but lower number you take it without objections thinking it us better than 3000. Take your time , do not agree to anything in haste while you are feeiung trapped and bullied .

sharp910sh

You must be earning a fortune if you can pay £3k maintenance a month!! I hope your earning at least £20k a month.

JackRS

sharp910sh wrote: »

You must be earning a fortune if you can pay £3k maintenance a month!! I hope your earning at least £20k a month.

No £3K would be over 80% so clearly not practical. As others have suggested this is the going in position her solicitor has come up knowing some form of negotiation will occur, to make me think £1500 for example would be a good result. In my view it still wouldn't be.

JackRS

duchy wrote: »

I think the fact your wife worked until very recently (comparative to the length of the marriage) is something that perhaps your solicitor is ignoring and could be addressed .

I think in your situation I'd be booking an appointment with a different solicitor -and seeing what they say when presented with the same facts before proceeding.

Yes my solicitor has requested what their client is currently doing to increase her income.

Obviously my current solicitor has not accepted this proposal

So far other solicitors I have looked at want £200 an hours and not free for half hour but will keep looking for another option,

Treevo

JackRS wrote: »

I'd be interested to know what case history you base this proposal on? Is the situation similar to mine?

I have discussed my case with 2 other solicitors they seem to have a similar views in that to some extent it depends on what is most important to me, is it monthly payments to a minimum, house sale or pension these are the 3 key points under review. However they all seem to think a court will look after the ex wife considering earning potential and reward her considerably

The problem with saying you can have 15% is that they'll apply for a court order for maintenance which will mean more legal costs and potentially I'll have to pay some greater amount than proposed.

Divorce proceedings have begun, Petition has been returned to wife's solicitor signed so they can send to the courts.

Until you go to court the only thing you have to pay is 15% child maintenance.

Your costs are going to be significant either way so you may as well spend the money on a good rottweiler of a lawyer.

duchy

It's an interesting thought
If you paid ONLY child support until it goes to court-I wonder how that would concentrate your wife's focus on getting finances agreed.

Ames

JackRS wrote: »

Yes my solicitor has requested what their client is currently doing to increase her income.

Obviously my current solicitor has not accepted this proposal

So far other solicitors I have looked at want £200 an hours and not free for half hour but will keep looking for another option,

£200 an hour is bog standard prices, you're not going to get anyone for less than that. If your current solicitor is charging less then you have to ask why. I think this is one area where you get what you pay for.

My dad was totally screwed over in my parents' divorce, all through this thread I've been worrying that you're going the same way, but I was wrong. You're going far further/worse than my dad. You really need a solicitor who'll be a rottweiler in your corner. My dad's solicitors insisted on a 'softly softly' approach, and we thought that they had something up their sleeves to pull out as a final line of attack. They didn't.

I hope things go well when you see your daughter, my mum turned my sister against my dad when they split up, but after a few years my sister saw through it all and now they're thick as thieves.