Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

19lottie82 wrote: »

Half? I thought 20% would be more than generous.

It seems in my case no. Bare in mind I have proposed £1000 for this short term which is £300 more than 20%. This was rejected and her solicitor suggested moving to divorce proceedings to ensure financial is official etc. In my case according to solicitors and case history when the wife hasn't worked for a while and has the children living with them even if they are adults, it seems she will be given much more than most think is reasonable.

Basically she'll get half of everything house sale, my salary and pension. However because of earning potential and the fact that children are with her she is likely to be awarded a greater portion of the house sale. She will be award 15-20% for children plus some maintenance sum to bridge the gap of her income. From what I'm seeing in case history it's likely to be a total of around 50% of my income, this I hope will have some time limit but I know a number of people who are still paying after 10 years following divorce. So if she's not earning the court will want to minimise the cost to the state by ensuring I continue to pay. This obviously gives no incentive for her to earn. The other options are to give and even greater portion of the house sale to reduce the any maintenance payments?

I don't know how these guys walk out and pay nothing and seem to get away with it?

Mojisola

JackRS wrote: »

It seems in my case no. Bare in mind I have proposed £1000 for this short term which is £300 more than 20%. This was rejected and her solicitor suggested moving to divorce proceedings to ensure financial is official etc. In my case according to solicitors and case history when the wife hasn't worked for a while and has the children living with them even if they are adults, it seems she will be given much more than most think is reasonable.

Basically she'll get half of everything house sale, my salary and pension. However because of earning potential and the fact that children are with her she is likely to be awarded a greater portion of the house sale. She will be award 15-20% for children plus some maintenance sum to bridge the gap of her income. From what I'm seeing in case history it's likely to be a total of around 50% of my income, this I hope will have some time limit but I know a number of people who are still paying after 10 years following divorce. So if she's not earning the court will want to minimise the cost to the state by ensuring I continue to pay. This obviously gives no incentive for her to earn. The other options are to give and even greater portion of the house sale to reduce the any maintenance payments?

I don't know how these guys walk out and pay nothing and seem to get away with it?

I think you need a new solicitor.

Lunar_Eclipse

JackRS wrote: »

It seems in my case no. Bare in mind I have proposed £1000 for this short term which is £300 more than 20%. This was rejected and her solicitor suggested moving to divorce proceedings to ensure financial is official etc.

So her financial requirements of £2970 are approximately 80% of your income, which is obviously utterly ludicrous. She would be shooting herself in the foot if she so much as hinted that c£500/month is sufficient to cover all your living expenses.

In your shoes and circumstances, I would point out the above and then either make one final offer (after which I would make a reduced offer of 20% of salary for the short term period) or go straight to the 20% with a view to a shock settlement coming quickly at a manageable level to both parties.

Whilst it's not considered fair for her lifestyle to be deteriorated, negotiations also needs to be grounded in reality.

Treevo

Tell your solicitor to grow a pair. Get her to inform your ex's solicitor that as she is being completely unreasonable, you will pay the CSA rate of 15% of your income to her and no more. Then issue divorce proceedings yourself and get it sorted. And then find yourself stronger legal representation.

Gigervamp

Wow. I'm speechless. Nearly 3K a month? Does she have delusions of grandeur or something?

With regards to her not working, you said that she worked up until 4 years ago as a teaching assistant and was volunteering until a few months ago, so it should be easy enough for her to get another job, it's not as if she's not worked since the children were born.

What's happening about her moving down south? That was supposed to be happening next month. Has she *postponed* the move?

I feel for you. She really is taking the proverbial. When my ex-husband and I split up, all I wanted was maintenance for the kids. I don't even have any of his pension.

Some people are just so greedy.

19lottie82

OP, I agree that your solicitor sounds worse than useless.



Can you not get a free half hour with someone else, just to see what their take on the situation is?

justme111

If the guy is self employed and clever and does not work in sensitive industries but is a builder for example he can do it. Have you looked into wikivorce and other online resources ? There is always an option of taking a year in Africa helping local children on charity work :P , can you imagine:D you ex's face if you do.ind , I can understand in some way your wife's position , she is taking it as a business transaction with negotiations trying to maximise what she gets. Wish you get better relationship with your daughter after meeting than before

JackRS

Treevo wrote: »

Tell your solicitor to grow a pair. Get her to inform your ex's solicitor that as she is being completely unreasonable, you will pay the CSA rate of 15% of your income to her and no more. Then issue divorce proceedings yourself and get it sorted. And then find yourself stronger legal representation.

I'd be interested to know what case history you base this proposal on? Is the situation similar to mine?

I have discussed my case with 2 other solicitors they seem to have a similar views in that to some extent it depends on what is most important to me, is it monthly payments to a minimum, house sale or pension these are the 3 key points under review. However they all seem to think a court will look after the ex wife considering earning potential and reward her considerably

The problem with saying you can have 15% is that they'll apply for a court order for maintenance which will mean more legal costs and potentially I'll have to pay some greater amount than proposed.

Divorce proceedings have begun, Petition has been returned to wife's solicitor signed so they can send to the courts.

justme111

Actually now that I have thought about it - a year leave , a gap year would be very tempting for me if I were you. Your ex would be force to face the reality and would have far fewer needs by the time you come back and starting working again. I would not have worked if 80% of earned would been pocketed by someone else. May be you could find a position that would be good for your cv but not paid now or not well paid. May be you could do masters so that your ex would not been able to get anything from you . May be it is a life changing opportunity.

justme111

Or a powerful tool in your negotiating arsenal .....