Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

I know many of you will be disappointed with me but I hopeyou will read through my logic and situation and appreciate my reasons?

Saturday I sent an email to ex asking when the car could bereturned, in discussions with my daughter I said that because her mum didn’tagree to my offer that no agreement was in place so it seems that a finalhearing was the only option. Followingthat discussion I received a reply from my ex agreeing to return the car at acertain date, making it clear she wouldn’t accept my proposal in order to have thecar replaced.
I discussed with a Wikivorce advisor yesterday the situationand from his experience and knowledge of my case he believed going to a finalhearing was a risk. He agreed thatdiscount applied to pension offsetting in my case should be more in the 30-40%region but actually in a trial the barristers would both argue a case and the judgewould actually make their own mind up or probably has already. It is also very dependent on the view of thejudge and the Wikivorce advisor said in my circumstances if he was representingmy ex he would ‘nail me to a cross and burn me’, despite the children beingover 18 the judge would actually consider the intension that they would beliving with their mother for a considerable time. He would also consider her opportunity toprogress her career and earn more was not very good that I on the other handstill had potential to earn more. Hesuggested that any income over £2000pcm would be up for grabs. He said it’s possible that a judge may award80% of house sale and pension share and £1000pcm until retirement. On top of that it would cost me around£12,000 in fees to go to final trial and I may have to pay her fees if thejudges settlement wasn’t so far away from her proposal. He believed that I should either give herwhat she’s asked for as it is within the scope of what a judge may order or tryand propose a halfway point for the cash as he felt the maintenance for 3 yearswas a relatively short period. He gaveme a number of examples where people had gone to final hearing and wished theyhadn’t including himself when he was much younger.
I then thought I’d call my solicitor who wasn’t availablebut I left a message to call me back, just as I got an email from her with acounter proposal. This proposal wasreceived on the 21st May but for some reason took until 3rdJune to be sent to me! Which explains mydaughters confusion as she was obviously referring to this proposal. In this revised proposal my ex used a 25%discount on pension offsetting value resulting in a revised proposal for cashreducing from £243K to £227K. This meanswe are £17K away in cash and 4 months away in maintenance (1st Marchto1st July 2018 = £2300). So I thoughtrather than waste time and fees I’d write to ex directly offering to meet halfway and if she could agree in a reasonable period I could process the car orderso she wouldn’t have a period without a car. Before I sent the email my solicitor called me back and we discussed myidea which she agreed to and confirmed we didn’t have a date from the court yetbut it was likely to be 3 to 6 months away, 12 minute phone call (£40+VAT)

Last night I sent my ex the following email:

I have today at 4:10pm received from my solicitor yourcounter proposal received by them 21 May. It seems it takes many days forthe solicitors to exchange communication so I thought maybe it would be betterto write to you directly.

The offsetting discount for pension seems to be thedebate but I wanted to bring your attention to the statement the actuarymakes in his report at the bottom of page 15, see below:

‘It should again be stressedthat the 10% discount for cash figure is shown for example purposes only and Iam not giving any opinion here that 10% is an appropriate percentage to use orindeed whether a discount for cash is the accepted approach. If the partieswish to make a different discount for cash allowance, this could be achieved bysimple adjustments to the figures above.’

Studying case law this discount value varies between25% and 80% but ultimately both barristers would argue their case and the judgewould make a decision that could go either way. I’m fully aware that thecost to go to final trial would be more than significant for us both andobviously at the benefit mainly to the legal profession, although I feel theoutcome may well be more in my favour in terms of cash now. Howeverneither of us want to create any further debt in fees and I feel bothsolicitors seem to want to create dispute and debate to generate furtherfees. It seems we are £17K apart in terms of cash and 4 months in termsof maintenance (1st March to 1st July =£2600). In order to get anagreement in place now and to stop these escalating costs I am proposing tomeet you halfway and propose £218,500 in cash from the house sale with nopension share (equivalent to 33% discount on pension) and agree to extendmaintenance payments of £650pcm until 1st May 2018, and to provide the car forthe next 3 years. If you can agree within a reasonable time period, I canput an order in for a replacement car so when you return the one you have, youcan take away the replacement. If we have an agreement in place and Iorder by 12 June we can avoid a period without a car for you.

We don’t yet have a listed date for the final hearing but itcould be another 3 to 6 months away according to my solicitor?

If this proposal is acceptable to you, I will instructmy solicitor to put it in writing.

The other alternative was to have a pension share anddivide the house sale 50/50. In one of your proposals you suggest £50,000pension share as an alternative, but it wasn’t clear on what basis ofhouse sale share that was?

Please let me know what you think.

This morning she emailed me back the following:

Thank you for that. I was getting extremely disheartened bythe whole legal profession and the fact that you didn't even receive my counterproposal until yesterday is shocking.

I think what you propose is quite reasonable and I would bewilling to accept settlement on these terms.

So I have sent the following to my solicitor:

She has accepted my counterproposal that met hers halfway, which I sent in an email last night. The mainchange from my original proposal are the cash sum from house sale andcompletion date for maintenance:
1) Cash sum from house sale £218,500 (original proposal £210,000)
2) Maintenance at £650pcm last payment 1st May 2018 (was1st March 2018)
3) Clean break no pension share and bar note (not changed)

Please alter the offerletter to reflect this and do what is required to confirm this agreement butobviously send me a draft to check.
Now that we have anagreement, we have clear indication of the remaining work required, pleasecould you estimate the following:

a) Legal fees and costs to complete divorce and financialsettlement.
b) Timing for the remaining steps.
c) When the balance of the house sale can be released to me so Ican use as a deposit.

Please can you apply somepriority to this case as I would like to issue the new agreed settlement to theother side within Friday 5th June.

I appreciate many of youwould believe I should have progressed to final hearing but considering the costsinvolved, the time it would take and the risk of the final outcome, I feel thiscompromise is reasonable and although frustrated that my original offer wasn’taccepted and it’s cost me so far £12K in fees I am also relieved that sheaccepted and didn’t try to half the difference again which is what I suspected.

In hindsight to avoid allthe costs and wasted time maybe if I had offered this at mediation it wouldhave saved a lot of time, effort and cost but maybe she wouldn’t have agreed?
Just got the following replyfrom my solicitor to my questions:

I attach an updated offer letter for yourapproval.
In terms of fees, I would estimate mycosts of drafting the order, supplementary documents and liaising with theCourt to be in the region of £750 plus VAT plus the Court fee of £50. Ihave suggested in my draft letter that her solicitor draft the order in orderto keep your costs down.
I would imagine that it would take 2 – 4weeks for the Order to be agreed and signed by both of you. The Courtthen takes between 6 – 8 weeks to approve the order. If they have anyquestions about the order, a further delay may be incurred. I havesuggested to them that the sale proceeds could be released to you both as soonas the order is signed. This would enable you both to repay your debtsand purchase accommodation.

mgdavid

WOO-HOO !!!!!!!!!!

(don't book the party date until the ink is dry....)
:beer:

LannieDuck

Well done Jack. (And how shocking that your solicitor took so long to fwd her counter-proposal. They really have been pretty rubbish.) Having got so far through the process, I think your decision is entirely reasonable.

If you'd put that offer to her at mediation, I suspect she would have pushed for more. I think she probably had to get to the point of exhaustion before she stopped pushing.

I'm so pleased you appear to be at the end of the saga

CruisingSaver

Great news Jack! So relieved for you.


CS

kelpie35

I certainly am not dissappointed with your decision, Jack

I know it has not been easy for you to take this decision, but noone should judge that. I believe you ae making the right decision for your own peace of mind.

I do hope that there will be a conclusion very soon to this nightmare you have gone through.

Please keep us informed as to when it is all finalised.

I do hope you are able to find a nice, peaceful and happy home very shortly, you certainly deserve it.

Please take care of yourself.

clarabell13

A long time lurker here Jack, I just wanted to say that I'm so glad for you that the end is in sight. You really do deserve this to all be behind you.


Can't believe how long your solicitor took to forward the counter-proposal to you - that really is shocking!


Take care and hope that this really is finally going to be settled for you.

Gigervamp

There's that light at the end of the tunnel Jack!

justme111

Superb news. Perfectly handled. Congratulations.

Icanandwillsavemoney

As a lurker from the start, I would like to say well done Jack. I have nothing but admiration for the way you have handled yourself throughout this horrendous ordeal.

I wish you every second of happiness that you truley deserve moving forwards x

vroombroom

Oh Jack I am SO pleased for you. I shall purchase some wine and drink it in celebration for you tonight ;-) :beer:

Have you written your complaint about your solicitors yet?